Periodically I am going to laze my way to a post by reposting some of my very earliest posts that still entertain me and got ZERO comments the first go round. Hopefully they will entertain you too and give you a glimpse as to where I once was at.
This following post was originally published on January 22nd, 2010. If you have not been to this guys site you must check it out. After two and a half years you can see what a mention on the Today show will get you.
STM Site
Followers: 12,159
Unique Vistors: 12,034,753
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
January 22nd, 2010
As fate would have it I just recently had hit upon the Sleep Talking Man blog as I was reviewing the Blogger Blogs of Note. I even read a few of them to my wife. Some lines were funny, some over-the-top vulgar (not that it bothered me of course) and some nightly ramblings that appear to conceal some underlying childhood issues.
Then what to my wondering eyes should appear (definitely NOT Santa and 8 tiny reindeer) but a blurb about this husband and wife comedy act on my local news this morning. That's right, right here in Big D a mention of the sleep talking utterances of the UK man. Having read the blog and actually remembered it a few days ago, my curiousity was predicably peaked.
After a brief mention at the end of the local news cast the Today show loads up and Matt is running down the days top stories and WTF!...HE mentions the Sleep Talking Man, his blog, him and his wife in bed, etc. Well I missed the story as I had to bounce to work but resisted the urge to DVR it for later viewing. Obviously I started my morning a little stunned both at the fact that I knew about this story BEFORE it was on the news and that it was actually ON the news!
I confess, as soon as I got home tonight I entered the blogosphere to see what was on the Sleep Talking Man's blog. [If you have not read any of his blog at least check it out.] His viewing audience as of tonight is over 5700 followers. Very sadly (for journalistic learning purposes only) I added his blog to my list.
Now let's break this whole thing down:
A. The ramblings and utterances could just as easily be posted on a blog titled - Whiskey River Tourettes or Magic Mushroom Musings or whatever. Point is, this stuff is easily made up after a twelve-pack of Shiner shared with one of my friends. But sleep talking apparently has its charm and you can plead ignorance of all of it!
B. The strategy is good though...short posts (easy & quick to do), stringing shit together that makes no sense, shocking vulgarity interspersed just enough to keep you coming back. Brilliant!
C. Tee-Shirts? Now we are getting somewhere. The money making angle. This I like...this I will copy. In fact I am thinking of dusting off an old website concept I dabbled in 10 years ago just for the opportunity to monetize.
D. They were on the friggin' Today show y'all!!! I wish I had written down how many followers they had when I first went to the site. I remember it being a lot because I commented to my wife about it but I don't remember the number. Fudge monkeys!...hey! I can do this shit to, yo! I want to see how this beanstalk grows.
How about Pyschotic Typing Man, here goes...
Caged shrimp puppies...I don't like their wings...fly pups, fly, fly, fly
Eating time is no good...not now not ever...tomorrow is good for me...tough shit for you
Throw it out...out with the mouse..the mouse is about the house...eh hoser
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No problem...and no beer was harmed in this post
Later
Showing posts with label STM. Show all posts
Showing posts with label STM. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Today's Apocalypse Sign: 1000 Hits And Counting
Yesterday my blog reached its 1000th hit. The bad news: hits 1000 and 1001 were me viewing and editing the music I recently attached. Oh well, it is still 1000 hits in 5 months and may not be too shabby considering this blog is very fluid in subject matter.
So on this historic day, I would like to recognize some of the first followers I garnered and give any of you who read this, that are not already following them, a first class invite to visit their sites. None will disappoint. Plenty of links below.
Let's get started:
I want to first thank Pat Tillett and TS Hendrick for being my first two (dare I say simultaneous) followers. I am glad they were, as I have then weaved my way through blogland by reading their great sites and expanding my blog reading through following some of their followers. Guys, your sites are the first ones I look to read each day. They have been, and remain, amazing, both for text and visual reasons.
Angie from cinemaobsessed.com was one of the next people to join this fledgling blog. Angie and her sidekick Chantale, review movies 24/7 (I think) they have got lots of funny stuff on their site and post like 20 posts a day (just kidding but it is a lot!). They have reminded me of films I need to see and some I need to see again but maybe for different reasons. Their 89 Second Reviews are hilarious. Thanks gals!
I believe I began reading the Badass Geek before I even fired up my blog. His Seinfeld-like life stories are always entertaining and thought-provoking. Every post under the First Time Here list on his blog are classics. I believe every guy that finds his site will read the hilarious ...get a papercut on my balls. Don't be eating popcorn when you read this one because you WILL choke to death from laughing! Unless someone is around to do the Heimlich. I love this blog!
Now the Sleep Talkin' Man is a brilliant concept blog. Posts are short and require nothing more than transcribing the ramblings of Adam when he talks in his sleep. The fact he is British just makes it that much more funny to me. Ironically I caught his blog before he went all Hollywood and commercial. Then, like 3 days after I first read it I saw his blog featured on my local news and the Today show. If you think you get a bump in followers by being a Blog Of Note, holy shit! the Today show blows you up into full on stratosphere hits (4,000,000 post-Today show) and followers. I posted about him some time ago and you can read it here if you missed it. He was on the Today show back in January of this year, as of today he is at 10677 followers and has had 6,255,033 unique hits to his site. If you have never been...go check it out. Wait, you say he doesn't follow me? Really, but I thought...what? Shit, now I have promoted his site for nothing!
Copyboy at Not Worth Mentioning handles diverse and socially important issues with aplomb and creative insight (did I get that right, dude, Do I get my $20 now?). And he can turn you on to some great shit you never thought of for Christmas presents. Thanks to him I have all my shopping done early. Won't the family be surprised at the Russian roulette game this Christmas!
Captain Dumbass over at Us and Them was also an early follower of my blog. The antics of his kids and the way he writes about them is true gold. His wife just had a rough pregnancy but now he is blessed with a third son. God help him! The pregnant belly art was supreme genius and very understanding of the Supreme Leader. Is it okay to use the word supreme twice in the same sentence? I think it is.
Vickie at Oh Shoot Photography has become one of my favorite photo blogs to follow. Her pictures are absolutely stunning.
Lucy at Pictures Just Pictures is another great photographer whose pictures I always look forward to seeing. I am sorry she has kind of been MIA for a while but I hope she will be back to posting all her great shots again soon on a regular basis.
I think that about covers it for the first followers of my blog. Again I want to thank you for spending time with me and commenting when you feel like it. If I missed anybody and you read this post don't hesitate to call me on it. I want to give back by sharing your sites with other readers so they can be as entertained as I am.
Lastly I want to give a shout out to three sites I am an avid reader of but who are not currently followers of mine. They are three of my favorites:
RockandRoll Gourmet she is one hot and hip gourmet cook. I have made some of the meals she has posted and they were all kickass! Give her a look, her writing style combined with subject matter is very refreshing.
The Sassy Curmudgeon oh my God...Una LaMarche is so damn funny it is ridiculous! The post about buckwheat and the lamppost almost made me piss my pants laughing! Go here to read it.
Hyperbole And A Half greatest Paint artist with an overactive brain on the internet! When you read her stuff about Spaghatta Nadle you will roll on the floor...come to think of it everything she does makes me roll on the floor. She has been MIA for a couple weeks but her older posts from earlier this year are fantastic. I warn you now, when you go and read about the Nadle you will be on the site for a while. She is crazy creative.
Okay, this post has gone on way too long and I am finished for today with my giving back.
Thanks again and until next time...
So on this historic day, I would like to recognize some of the first followers I garnered and give any of you who read this, that are not already following them, a first class invite to visit their sites. None will disappoint. Plenty of links below.
Let's get started:
I want to first thank Pat Tillett and TS Hendrick for being my first two (dare I say simultaneous) followers. I am glad they were, as I have then weaved my way through blogland by reading their great sites and expanding my blog reading through following some of their followers. Guys, your sites are the first ones I look to read each day. They have been, and remain, amazing, both for text and visual reasons.
Angie from cinemaobsessed.com was one of the next people to join this fledgling blog. Angie and her sidekick Chantale, review movies 24/7 (I think) they have got lots of funny stuff on their site and post like 20 posts a day (just kidding but it is a lot!). They have reminded me of films I need to see and some I need to see again but maybe for different reasons. Their 89 Second Reviews are hilarious. Thanks gals!
I believe I began reading the Badass Geek before I even fired up my blog. His Seinfeld-like life stories are always entertaining and thought-provoking. Every post under the First Time Here list on his blog are classics. I believe every guy that finds his site will read the hilarious ...get a papercut on my balls. Don't be eating popcorn when you read this one because you WILL choke to death from laughing! Unless someone is around to do the Heimlich. I love this blog!
Now the Sleep Talkin' Man is a brilliant concept blog. Posts are short and require nothing more than transcribing the ramblings of Adam when he talks in his sleep. The fact he is British just makes it that much more funny to me. Ironically I caught his blog before he went all Hollywood and commercial. Then, like 3 days after I first read it I saw his blog featured on my local news and the Today show. If you think you get a bump in followers by being a Blog Of Note, holy shit! the Today show blows you up into full on stratosphere hits (4,000,000 post-Today show) and followers. I posted about him some time ago and you can read it here if you missed it. He was on the Today show back in January of this year, as of today he is at 10677 followers and has had 6,255,033 unique hits to his site. If you have never been...go check it out. Wait, you say he doesn't follow me? Really, but I thought...what? Shit, now I have promoted his site for nothing!
Copyboy at Not Worth Mentioning handles diverse and socially important issues with aplomb and creative insight (did I get that right, dude, Do I get my $20 now?). And he can turn you on to some great shit you never thought of for Christmas presents. Thanks to him I have all my shopping done early. Won't the family be surprised at the Russian roulette game this Christmas!
Captain Dumbass over at Us and Them was also an early follower of my blog. The antics of his kids and the way he writes about them is true gold. His wife just had a rough pregnancy but now he is blessed with a third son. God help him! The pregnant belly art was supreme genius and very understanding of the Supreme Leader. Is it okay to use the word supreme twice in the same sentence? I think it is.
Vickie at Oh Shoot Photography has become one of my favorite photo blogs to follow. Her pictures are absolutely stunning.
Lucy at Pictures Just Pictures is another great photographer whose pictures I always look forward to seeing. I am sorry she has kind of been MIA for a while but I hope she will be back to posting all her great shots again soon on a regular basis.
I think that about covers it for the first followers of my blog. Again I want to thank you for spending time with me and commenting when you feel like it. If I missed anybody and you read this post don't hesitate to call me on it. I want to give back by sharing your sites with other readers so they can be as entertained as I am.
Lastly I want to give a shout out to three sites I am an avid reader of but who are not currently followers of mine. They are three of my favorites:
RockandRoll Gourmet she is one hot and hip gourmet cook. I have made some of the meals she has posted and they were all kickass! Give her a look, her writing style combined with subject matter is very refreshing.
The Sassy Curmudgeon oh my God...Una LaMarche is so damn funny it is ridiculous! The post about buckwheat and the lamppost almost made me piss my pants laughing! Go here to read it.
Hyperbole And A Half greatest Paint artist with an overactive brain on the internet! When you read her stuff about Spaghatta Nadle you will roll on the floor...come to think of it everything she does makes me roll on the floor. She has been MIA for a couple weeks but her older posts from earlier this year are fantastic. I warn you now, when you go and read about the Nadle you will be on the site for a while. She is crazy creative.
Okay, this post has gone on way too long and I am finished for today with my giving back.
Thanks again and until next time...
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Today's Apocalypse Sign: Falling From The Sky
Drunk Bird
You know, the further you go in life the less you "hear for the first time". However, this week, I heard for the first time about the cedar waxwings and their penchant for yaupon berries.
I have heard about apocalyptic signs like plagues of locust and toads raining out of the sky, but this was a first.
In Garland, TX (which is where I live believe it or not, for 20 years) we were subject to birds flying along and just falling out of the sky. Streets in some neighborhoods were littered with dead and dying cedar waxwings. One busy highway had birds falling out of the sky onto the windshields of fast moving cars. Nothing like that to get your heart pumping on the way to work.
Apparently the berries of the yaupon bush are too tempting for these birds migrating back to Canada and they cannot stop eating them. The fermenting berries actually make these birds drunk and they pass out while flying. All the dead birds were found with mouthfuls of these berries.
Heaven help us.
I have missed updating on the STM. Which means I missed both the 10,000 follower and 5,000,000 hit mark. So this is where he is today:
STM Update
10,078 Followers
5,137,833 Unique Visitors
A Today Show appearance...the gift that keeps on giving.
Until next time...if you are driving through north Texas during the next month, watch for birds falling from the sky.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Today's Apocalypse Sign: They Did The Right Thing???
I was absolutely stunned this morning to hear on the news that the young man from my post of April 6th was cleared by the school superintendent to return to class on Monday. Maybe there is some hope for common sense after all, or maybe I carry an extreme amount of influence. One way or the other it is something to feel good about.
Since I haven't updated in a while:
ALERT ALERT ALERT
STM Update
9901 Followers
4,801,191 Unique Visitors
The only question now is...10,000 or 5,000,000 first?? What are your thoughts?
Since I haven't updated in a while:
ALERT ALERT ALERT
STM Update
9901 Followers
4,801,191 Unique Visitors
The only question now is...10,000 or 5,000,000 first?? What are your thoughts?
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Today's Apocalypse Sign: Ivy League Suicide
The shocking stories of things that happen on college campuses these days are many and diverse. Topping the list is the incidence of suicide at many universities. None more so than the tragic year Cornell University of the Ivy League is having.
So far six students have jumped/fallen to their death from the 90-foot high suspension bridge that serves as a entrance from town to the campus. It is a bridge that I would have an apprehension of crossing on a good day. Me and heights are not friends in any sense of the word.
Samuell Cornell back in the late 1800's decided the best place to build a prestigious university that bares his name was right between two gorges. And you gotta be pretty damn deep to call yourself a gorge.
They even have a nickname for the suicides here... "gorging out". Macabe to say the least.
Even back in the early years of this university and through the 40's, 50's, 60's and heavily in the 90's suicides were happening here. What was it about this university that triggered the big bungee jump of life without the bungee? Was it just the lure of the bridge like a Siren song?
And what about jumping to your death as a suicide in general? It is a precarious thing to do. If you are not up high enough there is a chance you may not die and end up living like Stephen Hawking for the rest of your now incredibily worse off life. Too high you could get sucked into a jet engine (probably not, unless you pick a really bad place to jump from) but more importantly you have all that time from fatal step until terminal velocity impact to think about whether this is really what you wanted to do. No take backs. No do overs.
But what would make a college student (and at Cornell a fairly smart one) decide on this course of action?
1. Was pressured all through high school to get into the Ivy League but maybe that was not your idea of fun.
2. Once you got to Cornell you found out there were really some smart fuckers here and you weren't one of them (see #1 above).
3. Date after date seems to end really badly and instead of calling Hitch you decide life is not worth living.
4. Oooooh, there's something shiny down there!
5. I learned about updrafts in Physics...here, I'll show you.
6. Sorry, looks like it's Animal House for you Stevie!
7. If my parents find out I'm failing every class they'll kill me anyway (tuition, bye bye)
I'll stop at 7 so this doesn't turn into some macabe/gallows humor Top Ten.
This is a serious issue for a University that has picked up the nickname of Suicide U. Below is video and an excerpt from a CNN site:
The national average for school suicides is 7.29 per year for every 100,000 students, said Paula Clayton, medical director of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. That means Cornell, with 19,639 students, should average fewer than two suicides a year.
Cornell had no suicides from 2005 to 2008, according to Marchell. And the school has consistently fallen within or below the national average, said Karen Carr, assistant dean of students at Cornell.
The school has been praised by psychologists such as Keith Anderson, chairman of the American College Health Association's Mental Health Best Practices Task Force, for counseling and prevention programs that confront the issue of student suicide with comprehensive training and understanding.
Cornell responded to a cluster of suicides in the late 1990s with comprehensive training for members of the university community.
By Ross Levitt and Susan Candiotti, CNN
--------------------------------------------------
I for one cannot imagine what it would take to make someone walk over to the railing of a bridge and jump off. I also cannot imagine why they do not have the same kind of covering over these bridges by now that you see on walk-ways over freeway so whackos can't throw a cinder block through your windshield. I get the aesthetics angle and all that but really, if this suicide epidemic is a decison of opportunity, simply remove the opportunity.
Just one more justification for always carrying a parachute!
With that said:
ALERT ALERT ALERT
STM Update
9761 Followers (closing in on the big ten grand)
4,530,231 Unique Vistors (this is an increase of 103,000 from yesterday)
What a gig...one short little post and I mean short and BAM...100,000 tune in to read. Crazy!
Stay thirsty my friends...
So far six students have jumped/fallen to their death from the 90-foot high suspension bridge that serves as a entrance from town to the campus. It is a bridge that I would have an apprehension of crossing on a good day. Me and heights are not friends in any sense of the word.
Samuell Cornell back in the late 1800's decided the best place to build a prestigious university that bares his name was right between two gorges. And you gotta be pretty damn deep to call yourself a gorge.
They even have a nickname for the suicides here... "gorging out". Macabe to say the least.
Even back in the early years of this university and through the 40's, 50's, 60's and heavily in the 90's suicides were happening here. What was it about this university that triggered the big bungee jump of life without the bungee? Was it just the lure of the bridge like a Siren song?
And what about jumping to your death as a suicide in general? It is a precarious thing to do. If you are not up high enough there is a chance you may not die and end up living like Stephen Hawking for the rest of your now incredibily worse off life. Too high you could get sucked into a jet engine (probably not, unless you pick a really bad place to jump from) but more importantly you have all that time from fatal step until terminal velocity impact to think about whether this is really what you wanted to do. No take backs. No do overs.
Stephen Hawking
But what would make a college student (and at Cornell a fairly smart one) decide on this course of action?
1. Was pressured all through high school to get into the Ivy League but maybe that was not your idea of fun.
2. Once you got to Cornell you found out there were really some smart fuckers here and you weren't one of them (see #1 above).
3. Date after date seems to end really badly and instead of calling Hitch you decide life is not worth living.
4. Oooooh, there's something shiny down there!
5. I learned about updrafts in Physics...here, I'll show you.
6. Sorry, looks like it's Animal House for you Stevie!
7. If my parents find out I'm failing every class they'll kill me anyway (tuition, bye bye)
I'll stop at 7 so this doesn't turn into some macabe/gallows humor Top Ten.
This is a serious issue for a University that has picked up the nickname of Suicide U. Below is video and an excerpt from a CNN site:
The national average for school suicides is 7.29 per year for every 100,000 students, said Paula Clayton, medical director of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. That means Cornell, with 19,639 students, should average fewer than two suicides a year.
Cornell had no suicides from 2005 to 2008, according to Marchell. And the school has consistently fallen within or below the national average, said Karen Carr, assistant dean of students at Cornell.
The school has been praised by psychologists such as Keith Anderson, chairman of the American College Health Association's Mental Health Best Practices Task Force, for counseling and prevention programs that confront the issue of student suicide with comprehensive training and understanding.
Cornell responded to a cluster of suicides in the late 1990s with comprehensive training for members of the university community.
By Ross Levitt and Susan Candiotti, CNN
--------------------------------------------------
I for one cannot imagine what it would take to make someone walk over to the railing of a bridge and jump off. I also cannot imagine why they do not have the same kind of covering over these bridges by now that you see on walk-ways over freeway so whackos can't throw a cinder block through your windshield. I get the aesthetics angle and all that but really, if this suicide epidemic is a decison of opportunity, simply remove the opportunity.
Just one more justification for always carrying a parachute!
With that said:
ALERT ALERT ALERT
STM Update
9761 Followers (closing in on the big ten grand)
4,530,231 Unique Vistors (this is an increase of 103,000 from yesterday)
What a gig...one short little post and I mean short and BAM...100,000 tune in to read. Crazy!
Stay thirsty my friends...
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Today's Apocalypse Sign: Burnin' Down The House (of Worship)
Well you cannot get more Apocalyptical than church burnings.
East Texas has been the scene of numerous church arsons over the last few months. I live in Dallas so this is constantly in the news. There was no pattern or group claiming these fires in the name of Allah or any other reason. This was the work of two wacked young men who apparently had nothing better to do.
This is the kind of guy that makes you move to the other side of the street when you are out walking. How his family must be proud. This lasting picture will be on the mantle for next Christmas and other family gatherings. They will ponder what went wrong with poor little Danny. Meanwhile he is charged with two church arsons and suspected in nine additional church fires.
Would you let this guy babysit your kids? How about mow the grass? Would ya let him in your house?? No. No. and No. Sorry about the profiling but do either of these guys present themselves as upstanding citizens?
THEY BURNED 11 CHURCHES TO THE FUCKING GROUND!!!
They set one church on fire and before the firefighters could finish putting it completely out, set another church on fire 5 miles away. The town was pissed and could not believe the firefighters pulled out of the first fire before it was extinguished and took off across town. Then they found out it was to fight a second church fire set by these two numb-nuts.
Of course I have the required recommended punishment, in the spirit of an eye for an eye...bonfire broiling! Lash each one of these guys to a timber, back to back. Construct a large (very large) bonfire pyre underneath them. Lower the timber down on the support poles (much like a pig being cooked over a campfire, if you need a visual).
Now since they are not being cooked to eat, the need for slow roasting is not necessary. Therefore the use of accelerant is authorized. We still want to be humane and just cremate their asses fast, but, thorough.
Then we put their ashes in the foundation of a new church. I think God would approve. I know I do.
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ALERT ALERT ALERT
STM Update
9541 Followers
4167783 Unique Vistors
This guy cannot be stopped!
Happy Trails!
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Today's Apocalypse Sign: Health Care and Growing Old
To my two new and loyal followers, my mini-minions...I ask you to pass this post on to all you know. It is of dire thoughts. Thank you for being here.
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I remember my 50th birthday. My wife (11 years my junior, I didn't rob the cradle so shut up!) arranged a nice surprise party at a restaurant with all my friends and co-workers (probably 50 people in all...how ironic huh?). It was a great time and I didn't even get too drunk since I was playing golf the next morning early.
I was not really affected by this reportedly "huge" milestone in ones life because I still was like 30 years old mentally. No real big aches or pains. No forgetting where I had put my car keys. Just another birthday with cake and friends to help celebrate.
In June of this year that will have been 4 years ago. It seems like just last year. Blink of an eye fast it goes. I think it took 10 years to get from 18 to 21...now every week is like a trip on the bullet train...whooooosh and it's gone. It is now almost the end of March and it seems like New Year's day was just over.
Even today my mind is child-like, trapped in an aging shell. Not 12 year old child-like, well maybe some times, but flexible and quick while still open to learning new things and fascinated by some. I guess this is the stage in life where you are cresting that hill of "I wish I knew then what I know now" right before THAT bullet train ride to the bottom. You want to believe you are still that 30-year old with the 50-year old wisdom.
This is not a pity-me-I'm-getting-old post...this is the set up for the rude awakening that many people (and you never know when it might happen or to whom) suddenly find themselves facing...a life-altering health moment.
Do you know the cover of the AARP magazine boldly states it is the World's Largest Circulation Magazine? It is more than double the circulation of the next largest magazine. And not everyone joins AARP when they turn 50. Did you know the founder of this magazine was born in 1884?
Okay, enough AARP Trival Pursuit answers...this post is really about two things: 1)the boomers have a large say in what happens in this country, 2)health care, both the shit that Obama and the Dumbacrats are trying to sell us AND the kind you need when something like the video below strikes your life, is seriously fucked up.
When did it become okay to basically let aging people go off into the wilderness like old wolves and die? What is the age where it is okay for the government to shove your dignity and pride into the nearest trash compactor? When do you become the "Forgotten"? What the fuck is wrong with the greatest country on earth when it comes to care for the aging?
Is this the unspoken plan to reduce the population? Just think how the carbon footprint could be reduced if they could get rid of the boomers at a faster rate. The challenge is a tough one since there are many more supplements, and exercise programs, and Cenegenics. These guys could snap-off Obama's head and shove it up his ass so fast (that's assuming it is not already there)...but I digress...
When you are old it is too late to help yourself and when you were younger you didn't care, because that was so far off...even in your mid-30's you thought that...I know I did. It must be an inborn denial mechanism.
The video above is a snippet of the article in the March/April 2010 AARP magazine entitled Love Is (Not) All You Need.
Reading this article is infuriating. Of course I am closer to this end of the spectrum than the all night beer bong partying end, but nevertheless, it is bordering on criminal what is in place for the aging.
Medicare and Medicaid are complete dinosaurs of government programs. Most of these criteria are ancient. They are similar to the government standard for "poor" as described in the article (not the Aerosmith song) Living On The Edge
When you have to divorce your spouse of 39 years to render him destitute in order to qualify for Medicaid coverage it is time to take to the streets with pitchforks and torches. These were the riot tools of the middle-ages and since the two Meds programs seem to be from that time, I think it only poetic justice that we attack the facade of this portion of our nation's HELLth care with those implements.
Disclaimer: for all the Big Brother spies out there...no I am NOT advocating anarchy (well maybe just a little bit but only on health care (today)). But check your ID you may be in this same group of aging boomers.
Seriously, we are the largest group of people who have a major say in how this country moves forward on this subject. Exercise every right and action you can. Organize something in your community. Write your congressman and senator. The bill they are trying to shove through for health care is NOT good for us.
Unless you want yourself or one of your loved ones to be the next to walk the lonely walk into the wilderness of lost dignity and pride that is our country's current plan for the aging, get on board and do something.
Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieve it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
~ Dylan Thomas from the oldpoetry.com website
And this applies to those of you who are where I was 25 years ago. Let your motto be: Party But Plan.
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ALERT ALERT ALERT
STM Update
9477 Followers
4,126,923 Unique Vistors
Too Fucking Amazing!
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I remember my 50th birthday. My wife (11 years my junior, I didn't rob the cradle so shut up!) arranged a nice surprise party at a restaurant with all my friends and co-workers (probably 50 people in all...how ironic huh?). It was a great time and I didn't even get too drunk since I was playing golf the next morning early.
I was not really affected by this reportedly "huge" milestone in ones life because I still was like 30 years old mentally. No real big aches or pains. No forgetting where I had put my car keys. Just another birthday with cake and friends to help celebrate.
In June of this year that will have been 4 years ago. It seems like just last year. Blink of an eye fast it goes. I think it took 10 years to get from 18 to 21...now every week is like a trip on the bullet train...whooooosh and it's gone. It is now almost the end of March and it seems like New Year's day was just over.
Even today my mind is child-like, trapped in an aging shell. Not 12 year old child-like, well maybe some times, but flexible and quick while still open to learning new things and fascinated by some. I guess this is the stage in life where you are cresting that hill of "I wish I knew then what I know now" right before THAT bullet train ride to the bottom. You want to believe you are still that 30-year old with the 50-year old wisdom.
This is not a pity-me-I'm-getting-old post...this is the set up for the rude awakening that many people (and you never know when it might happen or to whom) suddenly find themselves facing...a life-altering health moment.
Do you know the cover of the AARP magazine boldly states it is the World's Largest Circulation Magazine? It is more than double the circulation of the next largest magazine. And not everyone joins AARP when they turn 50. Did you know the founder of this magazine was born in 1884?
Okay, enough AARP Trival Pursuit answers...this post is really about two things: 1)the boomers have a large say in what happens in this country, 2)health care, both the shit that Obama and the Dumbacrats are trying to sell us AND the kind you need when something like the video below strikes your life, is seriously fucked up.
When did it become okay to basically let aging people go off into the wilderness like old wolves and die? What is the age where it is okay for the government to shove your dignity and pride into the nearest trash compactor? When do you become the "Forgotten"? What the fuck is wrong with the greatest country on earth when it comes to care for the aging?
Is this the unspoken plan to reduce the population? Just think how the carbon footprint could be reduced if they could get rid of the boomers at a faster rate. The challenge is a tough one since there are many more supplements, and exercise programs, and Cenegenics. These guys could snap-off Obama's head and shove it up his ass so fast (that's assuming it is not already there)...but I digress...
When you are old it is too late to help yourself and when you were younger you didn't care, because that was so far off...even in your mid-30's you thought that...I know I did. It must be an inborn denial mechanism.
The video above is a snippet of the article in the March/April 2010 AARP magazine entitled Love Is (Not) All You Need.
Reading this article is infuriating. Of course I am closer to this end of the spectrum than the all night beer bong partying end, but nevertheless, it is bordering on criminal what is in place for the aging.
Medicare and Medicaid are complete dinosaurs of government programs. Most of these criteria are ancient. They are similar to the government standard for "poor" as described in the article (not the Aerosmith song) Living On The Edge
When you have to divorce your spouse of 39 years to render him destitute in order to qualify for Medicaid coverage it is time to take to the streets with pitchforks and torches. These were the riot tools of the middle-ages and since the two Meds programs seem to be from that time, I think it only poetic justice that we attack the facade of this portion of our nation's HELLth care with those implements.
Disclaimer: for all the Big Brother spies out there...no I am NOT advocating anarchy (well maybe just a little bit but only on health care (today)). But check your ID you may be in this same group of aging boomers.
Seriously, we are the largest group of people who have a major say in how this country moves forward on this subject. Exercise every right and action you can. Organize something in your community. Write your congressman and senator. The bill they are trying to shove through for health care is NOT good for us.
Unless you want yourself or one of your loved ones to be the next to walk the lonely walk into the wilderness of lost dignity and pride that is our country's current plan for the aging, get on board and do something.
Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieve it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
~ Dylan Thomas from the oldpoetry.com website
And this applies to those of you who are where I was 25 years ago. Let your motto be: Party But Plan.
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Saturday, March 6, 2010
Todays Apocalypse Sign: Lincoln - Vampire Hunter
Watch out all you Twilight groupies...we have now taken a national hero, monument, and former POTUS and transformed him into a Vampire Hunter!
Apparently Abe was doing this without his wife's knowledge. But damnit! when Vampires are attacking the White house ya have to do somethng and Abe was a wood cutter from way back. He could wield an ax.
Watch this little lost video from the 1860's:
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I think HE is a vampira...
Til next time...keep your garlic fresh and wooden stakes sharp
Apparently Abe was doing this without his wife's knowledge. But damnit! when Vampires are attacking the White house ya have to do somethng and Abe was a wood cutter from way back. He could wield an ax.
Watch this little lost video from the 1860's:
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I think HE is a vampira...
Til next time...keep your garlic fresh and wooden stakes sharp
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Today's Apocalypse Sign: Anybody Can Be An Air Traffic Controller
Article by Mara Gay printed on AOL:
(March 3) -- At New York's JFK airport, directing planes is mere child's play. At least, that's what some air traffic controllers must have been thinking when they allegedly allowed a child to give instructions to pilots from the control tower.
A Boston news station uncovered an audio clip of what is clearly a child's voice giving the all-clear to pilots as they take off and land commercial airplanes on some of the country's busiest runways.
"Jet Blue 171, cleared for takeoff!" the child can be heard telling one pilot.
The boy seems to have made at least five transmissions from the control tower. Adults can be heard on the tape as well, laughing with the under-aged air controller in their midst.
A pilot tells the youngster he's doing an "awesome job." From the air control tower, a male voice suggests a snow day may be to blame. "That's what you get, guys, when the kids are out of school," he says, sounding bemused.
The Federal Aviation Administration, which requires air traffic controllers to be licensed, is investigating and says it's not sure when the youngster was in the tower.
"Pending the outcome of our investigation, the employees involved in this incident are not controlling air traffic," the FAA said in a statement to the New York Daily News . "This behavior is not acceptable and does not demonstrate the kind of professionalism expected from all FAA employees."
The air traffic controllers union told the News that what happened in the tower "is not indicative of the highest professional standards that controllers set for themselves and exceed each and every day in the advancement of aviation safety."
Jim Baker, a retired Delta pilot, told Fox News Boston that "I have never ever heard a small kid in the tower giving instructions for an airplane to take off or cross a runway or any kind of instructions."
John Del Signore of The Gothamist blog wasn't laughing either. "That's almost as funny as the time the air traffic controller was joshing around about barbecuing a cat moments before that fatal plane/helicopter collision over the Hudson," he wrote Wednesday morning.
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Now for my two cents worth...
WOW! and oh yeah...WTF????????
How does anyone in the control tower think this is a good idea...in New York no less!! Ya know, the place where planes flew into buildings and landed in rivers...yes THAT New York!
This kids sounds like he is about 5 or 6 years old, tops. He got snowed out of school, why is he not home with his Mom? The Babysitter? Daycare? Something other than being at work with Dad endangering lives.
Does no one remember Murphy's Law any more? Never mind the fact the kid was at the control panel (which in and of itself is incomprehensible) but if anything had happened in the air or on the ground even a near miss, holy shit! We would be hearing about this for days and several people's lives would be altered forever.
Now the real sobering fact: no matter what, this Dad of the Year candidate did not act alone. Everyone in the tower was an accomplice, the pilots who encouraged the kid by joking with him are accomplices, supervisors who even ALLOWED the kid into the tower are accomplices...there may be more.
This was a group fuck-up. At one of the busiest airports in the country.
And lives were put in danger at a time in our existence where airline stuff is heightened security and tense all the time anyway. I know I am sounding like Jack Nicholson in "A Few Good Men" but seriously, it's the facts.
As cute as the kid sounds in the audio and the fact that nothing really happened and all the rationalizations seem to make sense the bottom line is: a kid was giving flight instructions to pilots flying plane loads of unsuspecting passengers. I'm sorry the disciplinary action on this one cannot come swift enough or hard enough.
This guy is going to have to explain to his kid for many years about how daddy fucked up and you can't have the nice birthday party, or the super cool Christmas present, or a pony. Daddy is an idiot, son.
On the other hand, the reverse of Murphy's Law (what ever the hell we can call it) will probably kick in and this dumbass will be as famous as "Sully" Sullenberger after his Hudson heroics.
Shit's weird that way.
Oh yeah...my seat back is forward and tray table stowed. I have also assumed the crash position...
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Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Today's Apocalypse Sign: The Charmin Bears
Well I gotta tell ya, this is sort of a last minute subject for the blog. It might never have come about except for that perfect timing of dinner-time TV, the Olympics, and actually watching commercials.
The commercial that came on for Charmin shows a Momma bear showing a Baby bear how to look through a telescope...yes, apparently bears know about things like telescopes. The Baby bear is looking through the telescope and sees...no, not the moons of Uranus, but Daddy bear's ass with white paper moons! ) Sounds sorta like a Lucky Charms ad.)
This to me became immediately hilarious. I do not know why as I have seen these commercials for a hundred years. Yet this one led me to think all sorts of weird and unecessary thoughts.
Such As...
*where do these bears buy telescopes...I thought it a logical question, shut up!
*where do these bears buy Charmin...Sam's, Costco, Big Lots??? They have a lot of need!
*where do bears shit in the woods...this commercial makes it look like they climb a tree and shit over a branch!
*where do you find these red-furred bears...in the redwood forest??
*why are there never any piles of bear shit when clearly they have just taken a shit...WOW! This is now officially way too deep.
Okay, the commercial was over long ago, but you get the idea. The biggest question is why did some high-dollar advertising agency think they had a winner on their hands with this line of commercials?
What could have been the runner up commercials?
Seriously, did an ad executive lean back in his chair and have some random-thought dream where the old line, "Does a bear shit in the woods"? popped into his head and he shouts , "Eureka! I've got it!"?
There is no good way to visually sell toilet paper. At the risk of exposing way more about myself than anyone deserves to know, I use Cottonelle. I don't know if I honestly can say I remember a single Cottonelle commercial on TV. I am sure they have had some, but not in recent memory.
I use Cottonelle not because I won't use Charmin. I use Cottonelle for a much closer to home reason...it is the preferred TP of choice by my wife. And I am not buying his and hers toilet paper. As with most guys on this subject, I remain fairly neutral. As long as it is strong enough to keep me from poking my finger through it while wiping (and therefore poking my own shitty ass), I am good with it.
So I guess the real sign of the Apocalypse (if I had to encapsulate it) comes down to asking the objectively-absurd-for-a-higher-intelligence question..."should I buy this toilet paper because it doesn't stick to red bear fur when they shit in the woods".
If the answer is yes...get some help for just pondering that thought, you dumbass! I would assume you will stick with whatever works for you. The only reason Charmin even needs to keep advertising...what a minute...why do they need to keep advertising?
I am now completely out of bear-shit and toilet paper thoughts...thank God!
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Til next Time...keep your powder dry...and watch out for bears in the toilet paper aisle!
The commercial that came on for Charmin shows a Momma bear showing a Baby bear how to look through a telescope...yes, apparently bears know about things like telescopes. The Baby bear is looking through the telescope and sees...no, not the moons of Uranus, but Daddy bear's ass with white paper moons! ) Sounds sorta like a Lucky Charms ad.)
This to me became immediately hilarious. I do not know why as I have seen these commercials for a hundred years. Yet this one led me to think all sorts of weird and unecessary thoughts.
Such As...
*where do these bears buy telescopes...I thought it a logical question, shut up!
*where do these bears buy Charmin...Sam's, Costco, Big Lots??? They have a lot of need!
*where do bears shit in the woods...this commercial makes it look like they climb a tree and shit over a branch!
*where do you find these red-furred bears...in the redwood forest??
*why are there never any piles of bear shit when clearly they have just taken a shit...WOW! This is now officially way too deep.
Okay, the commercial was over long ago, but you get the idea. The biggest question is why did some high-dollar advertising agency think they had a winner on their hands with this line of commercials?
What could have been the runner up commercials?
Seriously, did an ad executive lean back in his chair and have some random-thought dream where the old line, "Does a bear shit in the woods"? popped into his head and he shouts , "Eureka! I've got it!"?
There is no good way to visually sell toilet paper. At the risk of exposing way more about myself than anyone deserves to know, I use Cottonelle. I don't know if I honestly can say I remember a single Cottonelle commercial on TV. I am sure they have had some, but not in recent memory.
I use Cottonelle not because I won't use Charmin. I use Cottonelle for a much closer to home reason...it is the preferred TP of choice by my wife. And I am not buying his and hers toilet paper. As with most guys on this subject, I remain fairly neutral. As long as it is strong enough to keep me from poking my finger through it while wiping (and therefore poking my own shitty ass), I am good with it.
So I guess the real sign of the Apocalypse (if I had to encapsulate it) comes down to asking the objectively-absurd-for-a-higher-intelligence question..."should I buy this toilet paper because it doesn't stick to red bear fur when they shit in the woods".
If the answer is yes...get some help for just pondering that thought, you dumbass! I would assume you will stick with whatever works for you. The only reason Charmin even needs to keep advertising...what a minute...why do they need to keep advertising?
I am now completely out of bear-shit and toilet paper thoughts...thank God!
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Til next Time...keep your powder dry...and watch out for bears in the toilet paper aisle!
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Today's Apocalypse Sign: Fight Church
Okay, I have now seen everything (at least on a religious note, at least for this month)...Fight Church!
First rule of Fight Church...spread the word about Fight Church? I dunno, I guess that's it.
What is Fight Church? Obvs, it's Jesus on MMA. It's the Rumble in The Vestibule. It's the Pounding on the Pulpit. It's the Choke-Out in The Confessional. "Let me kick the shit outta you and then we'll pray. "
And you thought the Drop Kick Me Jesus (Through The Goalposts Of Life) song was sacreligious.
Once you check out the two links above you will know all you need to about this sign of the Apocalypse. The way to see God is to get your brains beat out in a cage match. Tell your family and friends.
I saw this on the news in action and let me tell you...it is some furious shit. It is real MMA fighting for the Lord. With a preacher egging them on with chants of, " hit 'em in the head!"
They claim they are leading the youth to a better life than thuggery...WTF!!! "Come take your aggression out in church in the name of Jesus rather than purse-snatching, burglary, and car-jacking." Wow
I am now convinced you can take any activity and convert it either to a full-on religion or to something with a religious tone. This would either be for the tax breaks or to "smooth" the rough edges of what ever the activity might be.
Now you knew this was coming so let's get to it...
Tell me YOUR fantasy activity coupled with religion. Be creative.
Mine is...Porn Preachers!
"Crying out for Jesus while reaching for heaven...Safe Sex in the Sanctuary. Keep your kids off the streets and experimenting on their own. Join us for worship on your way to the pearl(y) necklace. Ride like Jesus on the back of an ass."
Non-denominational, gay, lesbian, straight...all welcome at our Church.
Refreshments served after each service.
There is my blasphemy for the day...
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Jesus, this fucker's a church unto himself!
Via con dios
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Today's Apocalypse Sign: The Many Faces of The Apocalypse
Okay, this ride is going to be faster than a downhill ski event at the Olympics.
It is all about a Google search for the Apocalypse. I did this search trying to see if this page was anywhere on the millions of results but little did I know that I would find this mixed bag of results.
You can peruse the sites at your leisure but allow me to add a touch of commentary. In the interest of full disclosure (which I don't often do) I have not visited all these sites. But the titles alone gave me literary license.
Here we go:
The Apocalypse Suicide Page - HealthyPlace
Jan 12, 2010 ... Help for people who are planning suicide and those trying to help a suicidal person to live. If you're planning your own death, ...
This site just simply cracked me up. I guess help for people planning suicide could cut both ways (help to or help them not to). This result made me immediately think of the great movie Heathers. "Teenage Suicide, Don't Do It" by Big Fun.
I have always thought that where the description of sites was cutoff on a search result was so important. This one sounds like it is about to give you a checklist of what to do to prepare for a suicide. How they got the Apocalypse Suicide out of this I will never know.
Apocalypse Forthcoming: The Breaking Up of Brangelina - Brad PItt ...
Jan 24, 2010 ... OH GOOD GOD THIS CAN'T. WAIT. UNTIL. TOMORROW. HUG LOVED ONES. DON'T STAND NEAR ANY WINDOWS. SHELTER YOUR THIRD-WORLD CHILDREN.gawker.com/.../apocalypse-forthcoming-the-breaking-up-of-brangelina -
Could there possibly be a better sign of the Apocalypse than this. Do we care that much about Brangelina?
Are Violent Video Games Adequately Preparing Children For The ...
Studies have shown that these games, are quite effective ar teaching our kids skills that they'll need after the apocalypse. Like finding shotgun ammo, ...www.theonion.com/content/video/are_violent_video_games - Cached - Similar -
Violent video games teaching our kids how to survive the apocalypse? How about teaching them to use what they find to survive? How to purify water, what plants you can eat, how to cook a rabbit...shit like that.
Vlogging The Apocalypse
Vlogging The Apocalypse is a alternative online social networking site that also provides a free video and photo hosting service allowing users to view, ...vloggingtheapocalypse.com/ - Cached -
Just one question...who the hell is going to be around to take the video and what are they going to broadcast it on??? The chimps from 2001 Space Odyssey?
Making Light: Tips for an apocalypse
Guy, you sound just like a New Yorker: "You call this an apocalypse? This is nothing. Let me tell you about the one a couple weeks ago ..." ...nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/006539.html - Cached - Similar -
You just knew that a New Yorker would say some shit like that. " Hey, that all you got?" The tips sound interesting but I have not checked them out yet. Help yourself.
The 7 Hamburgers of the Apocalypse
Jul 21, 2008 ... Hamburgers, next to apple pie and statins they're the ambassadors of American cuisine--for better or for worse--and these harbingers of ...www.diet-blog.com/.../the_7_hamburgers_of_the_apocalypse.php - Cached - Similar -
I feel this site has some weird Popeye episode reference and that in itself is a sign of the Apocalypse. Wimpy must be counting down the days until he doesn't have to pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today. This site name makes me laugh.
LiveMetallica.com Download Metallica July 21, 2009, Free MP3 ...
Jul 21, 2009 ... Download Metallica July 21, 2009, Free MP3 Download: My Apocalypse Intro, Copenhagen, DEN MP3 FLAC.www.livemetallica.com/.../Metallica-mp3-flac-download-7-21-2009-Free-MP3-Download--My-Apocalypse-Intro-Copenhagen-DEN.html - Cached -
Okay, I threw in the Metallica site here just to get a dose of reality. I am def going to check this one out.
What to wear to the Apocalypse - SFGate
This much we know for sure: The End Times are going to look extremely cool. Have you noticed? Have you seen the previews, the TV shows, the films, ...articles.sfgate.com/2010.../17827919_1_app-store-apocalypse-leather - Cached -
WTF??? Don't you just go naked having sex? How else do you face an Apocalypse? DKNY, get ready for a rush of that little black Apocalypse dress.
YouTube - Apocalypse Now - The Ride Of The Valkyries
One of the best scenes from cinema. The helicopter attack in the beach against the vietcongs while The Ride Of The Valkyries is played.I never said this, ...www.youtube.com/watch?v=sx7XNb3Q9Ek - Cached - Similar -
Here ya go, enjoy:
The Zombie Apocalypse Will Not Be Televised -- It Will Be Tweeted ...
Jan 11, 2010 ... If you're anything like us, you've gone over your first moves during the initial days of a zombie outbreak in your head: scavenging for ...
Shit, and I had my Zombie makeup ready and everything! Tweeting seems a little gay for a Zombie Apocalypse.
Apocalypse Cow Recording Studio Chicago Area - Apocalypse Cow ...
Apocalyspe Cow Productions Recording studio Chicago area. Because not all music is the same, a recording studio that's different.www.callthecow.com/ - Cached - Similar -
Another site that just cracked me for the shear name of it! No not all music is the same...what would be the point?
GoatRiders of the Apocalypse
Goatriders of the Apocalypse · GROTA · Reader Blogs · Series Previews · Game Recaps · Photoshops · CBA. Syndicate. Syndicate content. User login ...www.goatriders.org/ - Cached - Similar -
This could be my most favorite site name ever! Even the GROTA is a cool name. I will not log on to this site and let its reality spoil my vision...I just won't.
Apocalypse Paintball
Field near Madison complete with trenches, towers, forts, a full size corral, village, and a lighted hyperball field. Spectator area surrounded by netting ...www.apocalypsepaintball.com/ - Cached - Similar -
This sounds like a good time. Maybe combining it with a couple other sites above like the GROTA (you knew I would use THAT one soon) and the Metallica, maybe. No matter, I like the name and the image it conjures up.
Act now to avoid the Apple tablet apocalypse Windows - InfoWorld
Jan 26, 2010 ... We saw the damage the iPhone caused as the ill-fitting consumer technology invaded the corporate space. This time, IT needs to strike first.
This video says it all about the iPad...
The 6 Best 2012 Apocalypse Theories (Are All Bullshit) Cracked.com
He couldn't even decide what the end of his timeline signified, claiming everything from the apocalypse to alien invasion to time travel. ...www.cracked.com › Science - Cached -
Finally, this little gem that allows you to pick a multiple choice answer as to how you think the Apocalypse and 2012 will turn out. From a personal survival standpoint, I'm partial to the time travel scenario.
It is all about a Google search for the Apocalypse. I did this search trying to see if this page was anywhere on the millions of results but little did I know that I would find this mixed bag of results.
You can peruse the sites at your leisure but allow me to add a touch of commentary. In the interest of full disclosure (which I don't often do) I have not visited all these sites. But the titles alone gave me literary license.
Here we go:
The Apocalypse Suicide Page - HealthyPlace
Jan 12, 2010 ... Help for people who are planning suicide and those trying to help a suicidal person to live. If you're planning your own death, ...
This site just simply cracked me up. I guess help for people planning suicide could cut both ways (help to or help them not to). This result made me immediately think of the great movie Heathers. "Teenage Suicide, Don't Do It" by Big Fun.
I have always thought that where the description of sites was cutoff on a search result was so important. This one sounds like it is about to give you a checklist of what to do to prepare for a suicide. How they got the Apocalypse Suicide out of this I will never know.
Apocalypse Forthcoming: The Breaking Up of Brangelina - Brad PItt ...
Jan 24, 2010 ... OH GOOD GOD THIS CAN'T. WAIT. UNTIL. TOMORROW. HUG LOVED ONES. DON'T STAND NEAR ANY WINDOWS. SHELTER YOUR THIRD-WORLD CHILDREN.gawker.com/.../apocalypse-forthcoming-the-breaking-up-of-brangelina -
Could there possibly be a better sign of the Apocalypse than this. Do we care that much about Brangelina?
Are Violent Video Games Adequately Preparing Children For The ...
Studies have shown that these games, are quite effective ar teaching our kids skills that they'll need after the apocalypse. Like finding shotgun ammo, ...www.theonion.com/content/video/are_violent_video_games - Cached - Similar -
Violent video games teaching our kids how to survive the apocalypse? How about teaching them to use what they find to survive? How to purify water, what plants you can eat, how to cook a rabbit...shit like that.
Vlogging The Apocalypse
Vlogging The Apocalypse is a alternative online social networking site that also provides a free video and photo hosting service allowing users to view, ...vloggingtheapocalypse.com/ - Cached -
Just one question...who the hell is going to be around to take the video and what are they going to broadcast it on??? The chimps from 2001 Space Odyssey?
Making Light: Tips for an apocalypse
Guy, you sound just like a New Yorker: "You call this an apocalypse? This is nothing. Let me tell you about the one a couple weeks ago ..." ...nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/006539.html - Cached - Similar -
You just knew that a New Yorker would say some shit like that. " Hey, that all you got?" The tips sound interesting but I have not checked them out yet. Help yourself.
The 7 Hamburgers of the Apocalypse
Jul 21, 2008 ... Hamburgers, next to apple pie and statins they're the ambassadors of American cuisine--for better or for worse--and these harbingers of ...www.diet-blog.com/.../the_7_hamburgers_of_the_apocalypse.php - Cached - Similar -
I feel this site has some weird Popeye episode reference and that in itself is a sign of the Apocalypse. Wimpy must be counting down the days until he doesn't have to pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today. This site name makes me laugh.
LiveMetallica.com Download Metallica July 21, 2009, Free MP3 ...
Jul 21, 2009 ... Download Metallica July 21, 2009, Free MP3 Download: My Apocalypse Intro, Copenhagen, DEN MP3 FLAC.www.livemetallica.com/.../Metallica-mp3-flac-download-7-21-2009-Free-MP3-Download--My-Apocalypse-Intro-Copenhagen-DEN.html - Cached -
Okay, I threw in the Metallica site here just to get a dose of reality. I am def going to check this one out.
What to wear to the Apocalypse - SFGate
This much we know for sure: The End Times are going to look extremely cool. Have you noticed? Have you seen the previews, the TV shows, the films, ...articles.sfgate.com/2010.../17827919_1_app-store-apocalypse-leather - Cached -
WTF??? Don't you just go naked having sex? How else do you face an Apocalypse? DKNY, get ready for a rush of that little black Apocalypse dress.
YouTube - Apocalypse Now - The Ride Of The Valkyries
One of the best scenes from cinema. The helicopter attack in the beach against the vietcongs while The Ride Of The Valkyries is played.I never said this, ...www.youtube.com/watch?v=sx7XNb3Q9Ek - Cached - Similar -
Here ya go, enjoy:
The Zombie Apocalypse Will Not Be Televised -- It Will Be Tweeted ...
Jan 11, 2010 ... If you're anything like us, you've gone over your first moves during the initial days of a zombie outbreak in your head: scavenging for ...
Shit, and I had my Zombie makeup ready and everything! Tweeting seems a little gay for a Zombie Apocalypse.
Apocalypse Cow Recording Studio Chicago Area - Apocalypse Cow ...
Apocalyspe Cow Productions Recording studio Chicago area. Because not all music is the same, a recording studio that's different.www.callthecow.com/ - Cached - Similar -
Another site that just cracked me for the shear name of it! No not all music is the same...what would be the point?
GoatRiders of the Apocalypse
Goatriders of the Apocalypse · GROTA · Reader Blogs · Series Previews · Game Recaps · Photoshops · CBA. Syndicate. Syndicate content. User login ...www.goatriders.org/ - Cached - Similar -
This could be my most favorite site name ever! Even the GROTA is a cool name. I will not log on to this site and let its reality spoil my vision...I just won't.
Apocalypse Paintball
Field near Madison complete with trenches, towers, forts, a full size corral, village, and a lighted hyperball field. Spectator area surrounded by netting ...www.apocalypsepaintball.com/ - Cached - Similar -
This sounds like a good time. Maybe combining it with a couple other sites above like the GROTA (you knew I would use THAT one soon) and the Metallica, maybe. No matter, I like the name and the image it conjures up.
Act now to avoid the Apple tablet apocalypse Windows - InfoWorld
Jan 26, 2010 ... We saw the damage the iPhone caused as the ill-fitting consumer technology invaded the corporate space. This time, IT needs to strike first.
This video says it all about the iPad...
The 6 Best 2012 Apocalypse Theories (Are All Bullshit) Cracked.com
He couldn't even decide what the end of his timeline signified, claiming everything from the apocalypse to alien invasion to time travel. ...www.cracked.com › Science - Cached -
Finally, this little gem that allows you to pick a multiple choice answer as to how you think the Apocalypse and 2012 will turn out. From a personal survival standpoint, I'm partial to the time travel scenario.
As long as I'm not on the ride with the Sleep Talking man...
May the force be with you...
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Today's Apocalypse Sign: Diet Coke and Heart Health
Well this was a shocking advertisment on last nights Olympic games...Diet Coke has just joined the fight against heart disease with The Heart Truth! They are giving 28 days of tips for heart health. I clicked on a few of the days (admittedly this thing started on Feb 1st so I am late to the party) and found most of the activities recommended will also -surprise!- make you thirsty, and probably reach for a Diet Coke! Anyways, check out the site and see what you think.
Seriously, they are doing this.
Here is excerpt from their website:
ATLANTA, Feb. 4, 2010 -- To bring heart health into the spotlight during February, American Heart Month, Diet Coke will distribute special limited-edition packaging in support of The Heart Truth campaign. The limited-edition packaging will graphically depict one person's journey from heart health awareness to empowerment to advocacy. The Heart Truth's Red Dress logo will also appear on more than 6 billion packages of Diet Coke throughout the year.
{DO you think the "advocacy" part will in any way involve NOT drinking Diet Coke?} I doubt it. But they probably will stop short of saying Diet Coke changed their life for the better...that would be just too much non-truth in advertising.
I could not help but chuckle at the irony of it all. It's smacks of Phillip Morris fighting lung cancer. You know they make cigarettes, right?
Oh these righteous fuckers...
When a product that helps cause the problem commits to fighting that problem, and we believe and support their efforts (while still drinking Coke and smoking I presume), can that be anything but a sign of the Apocalypse? I ask you, can it?
I am a recovering Coke and Diet Coke drinker. I gave up Coke back in the 80's because it always seemed so heavy in the gut after downing an icy cold one in about a minute during the hot Texas summers. And the aftertaste started to suck (probably the HFCS). I switched to Diet Coke thinking I was doing a better thing for my body (less calories) and there was almost no aftertaste. Smart guy was I, eh?
Well I drank the shit out of DC for years. I also found out it went really well with Crown Royal. Don't give me any crap about ruining fine liquor with mix...it made the expensive shit last longer. I then got even smarter(?) and starting mixing it with the very sophisticated Caffeine-Free Diet Coke.
Then I pretty much stopped drinking all of it all together. Now if I have 2 sodas a month it's a heavy month. Water is the answer, folks. After all, your body needs it and could care less about the soda. Enough of my personal life.
What gets me is the amount of information out there decrying the obesity, ADHD, Alzheimers, and a host of other diseases...not the LEAST of which is cardovascular disease being exacerbated, if not caused, by the soda industry.
We should all know by now that most of the shit you eat will fuck you up. There, it's out there and in your face.
Why?
Here's how the Coca-Cola company has fared in the "recession":
News Release
THE COCA-COLA COMPANY 2009 FOURTH QUARTER AND FULL YEAR RESULTS
Today, our Company reports continued worldwide unit case volume growth in 2009, which drove share gains in sparkling, still and total nonalcoholic ready-to-drink beverages for the year, and full year profit growth in line with our long-term target.
Strong worldwide unit case volume growth of 5 percent in the quarter and 3 percent for the full year, in line with our long-term volume target, and driven by international volume growth of 6 percent in the quarter and 4 percent for the full year.
Fourth quarter reported EPS was $0.66, up 53 percent, with comparable EPS up 3 percent to $0.66. Full year reported EPS was $2.93, up 18 percent, while comparable EPS was down 3 percent to $3.06 reflecting a negative currency impact.
Reported operating income increased 4 percent in the quarter, and decreased 3 percent for the full year. Comparable currency neutral operating income was even for the quarter, and grew 7 percent for the full year, in line with our long-term target.
Strong cash flow generation continued, with full year cash from operations up 8 percent to $8.2 billion.
Global nonalcoholic ready-to-drink beverage volume and value share gains continued for the tenth consecutive quarter.
Seriously, they are doing this.
Here is excerpt from their website:
ATLANTA, Feb. 4, 2010 -- To bring heart health into the spotlight during February, American Heart Month, Diet Coke will distribute special limited-edition packaging in support of The Heart Truth campaign. The limited-edition packaging will graphically depict one person's journey from heart health awareness to empowerment to advocacy. The Heart Truth's Red Dress logo will also appear on more than 6 billion packages of Diet Coke throughout the year.
{DO you think the "advocacy" part will in any way involve NOT drinking Diet Coke?} I doubt it. But they probably will stop short of saying Diet Coke changed their life for the better...that would be just too much non-truth in advertising.
I could not help but chuckle at the irony of it all. It's smacks of Phillip Morris fighting lung cancer. You know they make cigarettes, right?
Oh these righteous fuckers...
When a product that helps cause the problem commits to fighting that problem, and we believe and support their efforts (while still drinking Coke and smoking I presume), can that be anything but a sign of the Apocalypse? I ask you, can it?
I am a recovering Coke and Diet Coke drinker. I gave up Coke back in the 80's because it always seemed so heavy in the gut after downing an icy cold one in about a minute during the hot Texas summers. And the aftertaste started to suck (probably the HFCS). I switched to Diet Coke thinking I was doing a better thing for my body (less calories) and there was almost no aftertaste. Smart guy was I, eh?
Well I drank the shit out of DC for years. I also found out it went really well with Crown Royal. Don't give me any crap about ruining fine liquor with mix...it made the expensive shit last longer. I then got even smarter(?) and starting mixing it with the very sophisticated Caffeine-Free Diet Coke.
Then I pretty much stopped drinking all of it all together. Now if I have 2 sodas a month it's a heavy month. Water is the answer, folks. After all, your body needs it and could care less about the soda. Enough of my personal life.
What gets me is the amount of information out there decrying the obesity, ADHD, Alzheimers, and a host of other diseases...not the LEAST of which is cardovascular disease being exacerbated, if not caused, by the soda industry.
We should all know by now that most of the shit you eat will fuck you up. There, it's out there and in your face.
Why?
Here's how the Coca-Cola company has fared in the "recession":
News Release
THE COCA-COLA COMPANY 2009 FOURTH QUARTER AND FULL YEAR RESULTS
Today, our Company reports continued worldwide unit case volume growth in 2009, which drove share gains in sparkling, still and total nonalcoholic ready-to-drink beverages for the year, and full year profit growth in line with our long-term target.
Strong worldwide unit case volume growth of 5 percent in the quarter and 3 percent for the full year, in line with our long-term volume target, and driven by international volume growth of 6 percent in the quarter and 4 percent for the full year.
Fourth quarter reported EPS was $0.66, up 53 percent, with comparable EPS up 3 percent to $0.66. Full year reported EPS was $2.93, up 18 percent, while comparable EPS was down 3 percent to $3.06 reflecting a negative currency impact.
Reported operating income increased 4 percent in the quarter, and decreased 3 percent for the full year. Comparable currency neutral operating income was even for the quarter, and grew 7 percent for the full year, in line with our long-term target.
Strong cash flow generation continued, with full year cash from operations up 8 percent to $8.2 billion.
Global nonalcoholic ready-to-drink beverage volume and value share gains continued for the tenth consecutive quarter.
Not too shabby...
Now here are some sites to entertain and educate you in the basic issues with Diet Coke and most soft drinks in general:
The Cardiovascular Disease aspect, and I quote:
"Drinking one or more carbonated beverages per day may increase your risk of developing cardiovascular disease", according to a new study published in
circulation, the Journal of the American Heart Association.
People who consumed one or more sodas daily were 48% more likely to have metabolic syndrome than those who consumed less. Metabolic syndrome is the
name given to a series of linked symptoms that are correlated with a higher risk of cardiovascular disease.
circulation, the Journal of the American Heart Association.
People who consumed one or more sodas daily were 48% more likely to have metabolic syndrome than those who consumed less. Metabolic syndrome is the
name given to a series of linked symptoms that are correlated with a higher risk of cardiovascular disease.
The Aspartame angle
The Phosphate point, and I quote:
William Duffy
The doctor speaking in these dialogs is, Dr. McCay, the nutritionist at theNaval Medical Research Institute.
"I was amazed to learn," he testified, "that the beverage contained substantial amounts of phosphoric acid. . . . At the Naval Medical Research Institute, we put human teeth in a cola beverage and found they softened and started to dissolve within a short period. The acidity of cola beverages ...is about the same as vinegar. The sugar content masks the acidity, and children little realize they are drinking this strange mixture of phosphoric acid, sugar, caffeine, coloring, and flavoring matter."
I had to include this site on the issue of acidity just because it has a cool classroom video of what is left when acid dissolves the aluminum can.
And last but not least the highly controversial topic of of high fructose corn syrup (the deadly HFCS debate). This site is from the Corn Refiners. Guess which point of view they take? And here is the Wikipedia site denoting the controversy.
Here is HOW you can avoid HFCS if you are so inclined or your religion has an issue with corn (check it out).
And finally, WHY you should avoid HFCS, go Here.
Here's the bottom line...heart health and Diet Coke DO NOT go together. I don't care what arguments you make or believe. There is no good rationale for this promotion to even be taking place. How can the masses possibly fall for this?
Ya know the sad fact...Coke will sell more Diet Coke because of this. This is the true sign of the Apocalypse.
Fuck it...I'm going to have my monthly Dr. Pepper.
ALERT! ALERT!
STM Update
8641 Followers
3,076,613 Unique Vistors
Fudge Monkeys! Unbelievable
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Today's Apocalypse Sign: Super Bowl Ad's and Undercover Boss
Yep, today's a two fer. Neither one is big enough to stand on its own so there ya go.
First we start with the Super Bowl. Here are the clips of the Doritos ads which this year were the best of what I consider a mediocre SB Ad season.
The reason I am even mentioning the Super Bowl ads is kinda weird but it could very well be a true sign of the Apocalypse. Come on..$3 million for 30 seconds!
First a bit o' background...
My wife has grown into a commercial hater. Our Dish TV DVR has done this. I don't mean she is just annoyed with commercials...she hates them. Even the funny ones throughout the year I have to pause so I can track her down to watch them...and then she usually doesn't find them as funny as I do. (In some things we have wildly different senses of humor).
To wit: the commercial that came out last year with the baby in the highchair hawking E-Trade. I was falling out of my chair laughing...she left the room and refused to ever watch one because it creeped her out. I have loved every one of them and still laugh heartily at the golf one every time it is on. Shankapotamus is just the funniest golf term ever, and I have used it on the course several times.
Anyway, this past year has gotten even worse with the commercial hating. NOW...for the shows we have set up to record each week: 24, Lost, CSI's -Miami, New york, and Original, etc. We have to wait until the show has been recording for 15 minutes (ya know these puppies are only 45-minutes long) and THEN we can sit down to watch...and fast forward through all the commercials. So now our pre-watching conversation goes like this:
Me: "Honey, are we watching all three of our shows tonight?"
Honey: "Let's just watch the first two, NCIS and Lost."
Me: "Okay, then we need to wait until 7:30 to start so we can skip all the commercials."
Honey: "Okay, good"
Seriously, this conversation alone qualifies as a sign of the Apocalypse but it IS our matter-of-fact after work conversation. Not," how was your day" or any other really trivial stuff, but hardcore TV watching mathematics. Sheesh!
So the point of all this is...I watch the Super Bowl and she does not...BUT, she asks me to record the game sooooooooo....SHE CAN FAST FORWARD THROUGH THE GAME AND WATCH THE COMMERCIALS!!! Last year I accidentally deleted the game before she had watched the commercials and she was PISSED!! WTF.
Next...
Post-Super Bowl this year debuted a new reality TV show---Undercover Boss!
Watch this 8:11 trailer...
I watched this show after the game and I must change my original estimation of its worth.
I was wrong (this is the reason this ranks as a sign of the Apocalypse). I think this show is great. Some very good things came out the boss being down with the rank-and-file. Next week is going to be even better...Hooters.
The CEO of Hooters is going down in the "trenches" to find out what goes on in his stores. I'll tell ya now...he does NOT like everything he sees...no, not the girls, the way some are treated by management.
I am officially recanting my opinion for now of this show. Give it a watch Sunday night.
ALERT! ALERT!
STM UPDATE!
8532 Followers
2,925,244 Unique visitors
I know this was kind of a lame post but hey, ya got two videos out of it so there!
Happy Trails...
First we start with the Super Bowl. Here are the clips of the Doritos ads which this year were the best of what I consider a mediocre SB Ad season.
The reason I am even mentioning the Super Bowl ads is kinda weird but it could very well be a true sign of the Apocalypse. Come on..$3 million for 30 seconds!
First a bit o' background...
My wife has grown into a commercial hater. Our Dish TV DVR has done this. I don't mean she is just annoyed with commercials...she hates them. Even the funny ones throughout the year I have to pause so I can track her down to watch them...and then she usually doesn't find them as funny as I do. (In some things we have wildly different senses of humor).
To wit: the commercial that came out last year with the baby in the highchair hawking E-Trade. I was falling out of my chair laughing...she left the room and refused to ever watch one because it creeped her out. I have loved every one of them and still laugh heartily at the golf one every time it is on. Shankapotamus is just the funniest golf term ever, and I have used it on the course several times.
Anyway, this past year has gotten even worse with the commercial hating. NOW...for the shows we have set up to record each week: 24, Lost, CSI's -Miami, New york, and Original, etc. We have to wait until the show has been recording for 15 minutes (ya know these puppies are only 45-minutes long) and THEN we can sit down to watch...and fast forward through all the commercials. So now our pre-watching conversation goes like this:
Me: "Honey, are we watching all three of our shows tonight?"
Honey: "Let's just watch the first two, NCIS and Lost."
Me: "Okay, then we need to wait until 7:30 to start so we can skip all the commercials."
Honey: "Okay, good"
Seriously, this conversation alone qualifies as a sign of the Apocalypse but it IS our matter-of-fact after work conversation. Not," how was your day" or any other really trivial stuff, but hardcore TV watching mathematics. Sheesh!
So the point of all this is...I watch the Super Bowl and she does not...BUT, she asks me to record the game sooooooooo....SHE CAN FAST FORWARD THROUGH THE GAME AND WATCH THE COMMERCIALS!!! Last year I accidentally deleted the game before she had watched the commercials and she was PISSED!! WTF.
Next...
Post-Super Bowl this year debuted a new reality TV show---Undercover Boss!
Watch this 8:11 trailer...
I watched this show after the game and I must change my original estimation of its worth.
I was wrong (this is the reason this ranks as a sign of the Apocalypse). I think this show is great. Some very good things came out the boss being down with the rank-and-file. Next week is going to be even better...Hooters.
The CEO of Hooters is going down in the "trenches" to find out what goes on in his stores. I'll tell ya now...he does NOT like everything he sees...no, not the girls, the way some are treated by management.
I am officially recanting my opinion for now of this show. Give it a watch Sunday night.
ALERT! ALERT!
STM UPDATE!
8532 Followers
2,925,244 Unique visitors
I know this was kind of a lame post but hey, ya got two videos out of it so there!
Happy Trails...
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Today's Apocalypse Sign: Internet Solicitation
Strap in folks...it's going to be a bumpy ride!
It seems everyday I am prone to say, "that's the most fucked up thing I've ever heard".
Here is today's version:
Casper, Wyoming cutsie sounding suburb of Barr Nun...
A woman was assaulted at her front door raped at knife point and left bound on her living room floor.
This in and of itself is a horrible event. But the twist that makes it a sign of the Apocalypse is the fact that her ex-boyfriend set it all up!
It appears the the ex-boyfriend setup an account on Craigslist and an email address claiming to be the ex-girlfriend. The Craigslist ad was for "she harbored a rape fantasy and wanted to be assaulted."
The "rapist" had read the ad and communicated via the email address with who he thought was the woman, when in reality it was her ex leading this whole thing on. Apparently the "rapist" got all the information he needed to go to the woman's house and execute this "fantasy".
Here is an excerpt from the Associated Press report:
In the Casper case, Blonigen's office has charged Ty Oliver McDowell, 26, of Bar Nunn, a Casper suburb, with three counts of first-degree sexual assault, one count of kidnapping and one count of aggravated burglary. Jebidiah James Stipe, 27, a Marine based in Twentynine Palms, Calif., is charged with conspiracy to commit first-degree sexual assault.
Now the fact that the ex-boyfriend was a Marine AND he was about to be drummed out of the Corps for other conduct reasons makes this even worse. What in the hell was wrong with this guy??
But how about the guy trolling craigslist, spying this ad (what category was he browsing anyway??), and saying to himself, "Hmm, I've got nothing better to do tonight, this looks like a good time."
I think both these knuckleheads need to be placed somewhere that has people who like to achieve THEIR rape fantasies...Federal Prison!
A few weeks with Bubba and Bruno and they might regret this little act of stupidity.
So if Wyoming has a mail-in judicial system, I say send in your vote. These guys deserve whatever is coming. However the scary thought (and possibly another sign of the Apocalypse) is that one or both of them might get off. Only time will tell.
Until then boys...sleep with your back against the wall...
God is watching...
ALERT!! ALERT!!
STM Alert
8348 followers
2,708,528 unique vistors
It seems everyday I am prone to say, "that's the most fucked up thing I've ever heard".
Here is today's version:
Casper, Wyoming cutsie sounding suburb of Barr Nun...
A woman was assaulted at her front door raped at knife point and left bound on her living room floor.
This in and of itself is a horrible event. But the twist that makes it a sign of the Apocalypse is the fact that her ex-boyfriend set it all up!
It appears the the ex-boyfriend setup an account on Craigslist and an email address claiming to be the ex-girlfriend. The Craigslist ad was for "she harbored a rape fantasy and wanted to be assaulted."
The "rapist" had read the ad and communicated via the email address with who he thought was the woman, when in reality it was her ex leading this whole thing on. Apparently the "rapist" got all the information he needed to go to the woman's house and execute this "fantasy".
Here is an excerpt from the Associated Press report:
In the Casper case, Blonigen's office has charged Ty Oliver McDowell, 26, of Bar Nunn, a Casper suburb, with three counts of first-degree sexual assault, one count of kidnapping and one count of aggravated burglary. Jebidiah James Stipe, 27, a Marine based in Twentynine Palms, Calif., is charged with conspiracy to commit first-degree sexual assault.
Now the fact that the ex-boyfriend was a Marine AND he was about to be drummed out of the Corps for other conduct reasons makes this even worse. What in the hell was wrong with this guy??
But how about the guy trolling craigslist, spying this ad (what category was he browsing anyway??), and saying to himself, "Hmm, I've got nothing better to do tonight, this looks like a good time."
I think both these knuckleheads need to be placed somewhere that has people who like to achieve THEIR rape fantasies...Federal Prison!
A few weeks with Bubba and Bruno and they might regret this little act of stupidity.
So if Wyoming has a mail-in judicial system, I say send in your vote. These guys deserve whatever is coming. However the scary thought (and possibly another sign of the Apocalypse) is that one or both of them might get off. Only time will tell.
Until then boys...sleep with your back against the wall...
God is watching...
ALERT!! ALERT!!
STM Alert
8348 followers
2,708,528 unique vistors
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Today's Apocalypse Sign: Tupperware Gobblins
That's right, this post is about Tupperware, Gladware, and any other name this stuff goes by.
In the house it is me, my wife, and the dog (built very low to the ground). I work. My wife works. My dog sleeps...and is generally uninterested in things like Tupperware. How does THIS happen?
The picture above was taken today. It is approximately 2 months since the Winter Organizing of The Tupperware Cupboard took place. Sadly I do not have a before picture but use your imagination...everything in its place, like sized things stacked inside each other, etc.
Now I have this!
My wife blames me...I blame her...the dog still doesn't care, but does run to the back room when she and I start to "discuss" this cupboard (apparently his ears are sensitive to four-letter words at volume) AND he knows he didn't do it.
So if neither of us created this...HTF did it happen? I know we have a mouse that has roamed the kitchen and managed to evade capture, but he has not been in the cupboard. Plus he's a really small mouse (been seen but not caught). So what gives?
I am now strongly believing in some sort of gobblin scouting party. During the night or day they are moving this shit around. They are testing us to see if we will slowly lose our will to keep plastic ware organized. Since, if we give in to leaving this cupboard unorganized because we just don't care anymore, what's next? Then we will be ripe for the gobblin invasion!
Whoa!!! I think that sushi WAS bad last night...I'm gonna go lay down, I don't feel so good...
Don't let them win at your house...throw the Tupperware out!
ALERT! ALERT!
In the house it is me, my wife, and the dog (built very low to the ground). I work. My wife works. My dog sleeps...and is generally uninterested in things like Tupperware. How does THIS happen?
The picture above was taken today. It is approximately 2 months since the Winter Organizing of The Tupperware Cupboard took place. Sadly I do not have a before picture but use your imagination...everything in its place, like sized things stacked inside each other, etc.
Now I have this!
My wife blames me...I blame her...the dog still doesn't care, but does run to the back room when she and I start to "discuss" this cupboard (apparently his ears are sensitive to four-letter words at volume) AND he knows he didn't do it.
So if neither of us created this...HTF did it happen? I know we have a mouse that has roamed the kitchen and managed to evade capture, but he has not been in the cupboard. Plus he's a really small mouse (been seen but not caught). So what gives?
I am now strongly believing in some sort of gobblin scouting party. During the night or day they are moving this shit around. They are testing us to see if we will slowly lose our will to keep plastic ware organized. Since, if we give in to leaving this cupboard unorganized because we just don't care anymore, what's next? Then we will be ripe for the gobblin invasion!
Whoa!!! I think that sushi WAS bad last night...I'm gonna go lay down, I don't feel so good...
Don't let them win at your house...throw the Tupperware out!
ALERT! ALERT!
STM UPDATE:
8191 followers (up 150 from yesterday)
2,549,552 unique visitors (up 63,000 from ysterday)
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Today's Apocalypse Sign: Google Search
I gotta tell ya, I'm confused about how this whole internet thing works. I have been traveling some websites today that have been around for as long as 4 years and they get no significant hits. I went back to the very first post on each site I was on and left a comment. Some of them were brilliant and yet no one had ever thought enough to leave a comment IF they even got read in the first place.
I do not believe any of MY great work so far has been read by anyone but myself.
I want to give you two examples that are polar opposites of each other (at least in my mind) and I want you to visit each site and judge for yourself which is truly the better site, contently speaking.
EXHIBIT A
Franks Funnies believe it or not I found this while doing a Google search for "apocalypse signs". His site is number 32 out of about 3,370,000. His site has nothing to do with the apocalypse and everything to do with really funny shit on a variety of subject matter. Click the link and see what I mean. You will spend at least an hour reading his stuff. I am now a follower of Frank.
EXHIBIT B
STM my favorite sleep talkin' man site. The entire first page of a search for "sleep talking man" is about this guy. It's okay for what it is but shit-fire did it go commercial fast! Check out his store. ALERT!! ALERT!!
Today's STM update:
7957 Followers (an increase of over 2200 in a little over a week)
2,351,127 Unique Vistors to his site
The best I can figure is this site has been up for about a year. The postings were very sporadic at first. Example: between June 16th and September 8th...nothing. Then STM was a featured "blog of note" on blogger.com. Now that the gravy train is rolling they are coming fast and furious. Here is my work.
----------------------
So now I start searching Google to see if I can find my site in ANY way possible.
I search "apocalypse signs". Stopped at 10 pages but the bonus here is I found Franksfunnies.
I search "signs of the apocalypse". This returns 367,000 results. Again after ten pages I stop. I did how ever stumble on this little terrifying site. I downloaded the survival list and I am now going to starting saving to join this lovely bunch of coconuts. Cause really, what the hell good is my site going to be if the poles shift, and their gig sounds like a hoot. As usual...too late to the blogging party.
Then I search "a pack a lips now". This was the name of my blog a few hours ago. What do you think I got back?? Ready? 1,030,000 results! WTF times 2!!
Who in the hell would even type in that term except a nutbag like me?
Cruel reality...even THAT exact term brought up no webpage of mine. I went through 50 pages. FIFTY! I had no more time left to be toyed with so I am assuming that my site is result number 1,029,999. Hey, I'm optimistic, what can I say. Fuck, that sucks.
So now I have renamed my blog Apocalypse Now. Stupid me, when I set it up I was searching for a site name that had apocalypse in it and nothing was available that I liked (and I really didn't try all that hard, but hard enough).
So my site name is THIS, but my blog name is Apocalypse Now. I know those of you who are reading this at some future date will think I'm a blogging simpleton but this is my first forage into the public blogosphere, I'm learning (I think).
I knew there was such a thing as a "Google Slap" and it was to be feared above all else by bloggers and webmasters...but what I didn't know until today was there is also a...
Google Kick In The Nuts
My only answer to that lies in the lyrics to this great Webb Wilder ditty...
Google may be the Antichrist (Please don't kick me again...)
Maybe I need to try some Adsense...or common sense
or some sleep...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
I do not believe any of MY great work so far has been read by anyone but myself.
I want to give you two examples that are polar opposites of each other (at least in my mind) and I want you to visit each site and judge for yourself which is truly the better site, contently speaking.
EXHIBIT A
Franks Funnies believe it or not I found this while doing a Google search for "apocalypse signs". His site is number 32 out of about 3,370,000. His site has nothing to do with the apocalypse and everything to do with really funny shit on a variety of subject matter. Click the link and see what I mean. You will spend at least an hour reading his stuff. I am now a follower of Frank.
EXHIBIT B
STM my favorite sleep talkin' man site. The entire first page of a search for "sleep talking man" is about this guy. It's okay for what it is but shit-fire did it go commercial fast! Check out his store. ALERT!! ALERT!!
Today's STM update:
7957 Followers (an increase of over 2200 in a little over a week)
2,351,127 Unique Vistors to his site
The best I can figure is this site has been up for about a year. The postings were very sporadic at first. Example: between June 16th and September 8th...nothing. Then STM was a featured "blog of note" on blogger.com. Now that the gravy train is rolling they are coming fast and furious. Here is my work.
----------------------
So now I start searching Google to see if I can find my site in ANY way possible.
I search "apocalypse signs". Stopped at 10 pages but the bonus here is I found Franksfunnies.
I search "signs of the apocalypse". This returns 367,000 results. Again after ten pages I stop. I did how ever stumble on this little terrifying site. I downloaded the survival list and I am now going to starting saving to join this lovely bunch of coconuts. Cause really, what the hell good is my site going to be if the poles shift, and their gig sounds like a hoot. As usual...too late to the blogging party.
Then I search "a pack a lips now". This was the name of my blog a few hours ago. What do you think I got back?? Ready? 1,030,000 results! WTF times 2!!
Who in the hell would even type in that term except a nutbag like me?
Cruel reality...even THAT exact term brought up no webpage of mine. I went through 50 pages. FIFTY! I had no more time left to be toyed with so I am assuming that my site is result number 1,029,999. Hey, I'm optimistic, what can I say. Fuck, that sucks.
So now I have renamed my blog Apocalypse Now. Stupid me, when I set it up I was searching for a site name that had apocalypse in it and nothing was available that I liked (and I really didn't try all that hard, but hard enough).
So my site name is THIS, but my blog name is Apocalypse Now. I know those of you who are reading this at some future date will think I'm a blogging simpleton but this is my first forage into the public blogosphere, I'm learning (I think).
I knew there was such a thing as a "Google Slap" and it was to be feared above all else by bloggers and webmasters...but what I didn't know until today was there is also a...
Google Kick In The Nuts
My only answer to that lies in the lyrics to this great Webb Wilder ditty...
Google may be the Antichrist (Please don't kick me again...)
Maybe I need to try some Adsense...or common sense
or some sleep...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Today's Apocalypse Sign: ABBA
When I started this blog I was a little worried about being able to fill these pages with true signs of the Apocalypse. My worry diminishes by the day. Now I just worry if anyone else will ever find and read this blog. At least I have a hit counter now so I can tell how many times I read it!
So this morning the Saturday Today Show with Lester and the gang gives us this gem for our sign of the day>>>>>>>>>>>>>>AbbaWorld!
Now I gotta tell ya, after yesterday's somewhat somber post, this gave me huge pause. ABBAWorld, no shit!
If this is able to get off the ground then can ChuckWorld be far behind?
If this is able to get off the ground then can ChuckWorld be far behind?
When I did a Google search for "ABBAWorld" it returned 437,000 results!
I found a 1976 video:
My wife loves Mamma Mia! the movie, which features the music of ABBA and I'm okay with all that but I still don't get ABBAWORLD. I was willing to let it all go but on the Today show, the finale of the news article was {shudder here} ABBA Karaoke!
This featured a regular women dancing AND singing (badly) in front of a green screen while avatar-like images of ABBA danced and sang with her while playing instruments. It was the funniest thing I had seen in a couple days.
I guess the fact that I was into Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, and other rock bands in the 70's kind of kept disco bands off my radar...and out of my 8-track player! Somewhat ironic then that Zeppelin recorded their In Through The Out Door album at ABBA's state of the art recording studio in Stockholm. There's a trivia question answer if you ever need it.
So in the true spirit of ABBA - WTF? today I say, if you haven't read this blog before...
Take a Chance On Me....
Time to Wii
----------------------
URGENT STM UPDATE:
- 7809 followers (up 2100 in a week)
- 2,280,488 unique vistors
- There is more STM shit you can buy...including ringtones and aprons, WFT?
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Today's Apocalypse Sign: Rehashing Already
Well here it is, only the fifth post on my brand new blog and I am rehashing already.
I was a little distracted today from things apocalyptical...either that or I just wasn't paying attention. Anyway, I have a couple things to comment on:
1. Yesterday's post about the Sleep Talking Man (read I presume by only ME) caused me to check his latest blog entries. He gained over 700 followers yesterday after his Today show and GMA appearances. Way to go STM and wife! (I don't think he gained any followers from the people who did not read MY blog.)
2. STM merchandise...I checked out their store, yes they have a on-line store with t-shirts and bags imprinted with some of Adam's best musings. $17 bucks USD for a t-shirt. I am now really thinking about my website idea from 10 years ago. There is obviously money to be made for stupid shit...I'm in for that!
3. I have fancied up the blog a bit by adding some gadgets. I included one about opinions on current events (not sure I like it enough to keep it on here long), one with Marilyn Manson MP3's, my favorite...the Mayan Calendar countdown to (what else) the Apocalypse, AND a daily saying from Buddha.
4. And finally I added a picture to my header...kinda symbolic of the desolate one-way ride we are all on. I did some black and white photos a year ago for Christmas so I used one of those.
Anyway, I'll see how I like the changes after a few days...they may stay or go as I deem necessary. There are lots of gadgets out there in bloggerland and since I'm an experimental kind of guy...who knows.
I'm still thinking of trademarking, copywriting, and forever owning "Fudge Monkeys". After I typed it in yesterday's post it has been stuck in my brain...could be a message from God.
Then again last year I was hooked on the word spatchcock...so again who knows.
The Packings play tomorrow late in the Big Easy. Join me in rooting Brett on to victory, cher...
-nytol
I was a little distracted today from things apocalyptical...either that or I just wasn't paying attention. Anyway, I have a couple things to comment on:
1. Yesterday's post about the Sleep Talking Man (read I presume by only ME) caused me to check his latest blog entries. He gained over 700 followers yesterday after his Today show and GMA appearances. Way to go STM and wife! (I don't think he gained any followers from the people who did not read MY blog.)
2. STM merchandise...I checked out their store, yes they have a on-line store with t-shirts and bags imprinted with some of Adam's best musings. $17 bucks USD for a t-shirt. I am now really thinking about my website idea from 10 years ago. There is obviously money to be made for stupid shit...I'm in for that!
3. I have fancied up the blog a bit by adding some gadgets. I included one about opinions on current events (not sure I like it enough to keep it on here long), one with Marilyn Manson MP3's, my favorite...the Mayan Calendar countdown to (what else) the Apocalypse, AND a daily saying from Buddha.
4. And finally I added a picture to my header...kinda symbolic of the desolate one-way ride we are all on. I did some black and white photos a year ago for Christmas so I used one of those.
Anyway, I'll see how I like the changes after a few days...they may stay or go as I deem necessary. There are lots of gadgets out there in bloggerland and since I'm an experimental kind of guy...who knows.
I'm still thinking of trademarking, copywriting, and forever owning "Fudge Monkeys". After I typed it in yesterday's post it has been stuck in my brain...could be a message from God.
Then again last year I was hooked on the word spatchcock...so again who knows.
The Packings play tomorrow late in the Big Easy. Join me in rooting Brett on to victory, cher...
-nytol
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