Today's Apocalypse Sign: Blogger Must Die!

Sorry, not A Blogger must die...but this new Blogger format must die. It is totally unusable, non-ituitive, and completely pissing me off! Those of you using Blogger please tell me your thoughts...

Some of mine are:

1.   Give me a freakin' Dashboard link right on the main nav bar!!! Ever since it has been removed I have longed for it back. Now you have to click New Post or Design and back into the Overview. It is Freakin' ridiculous! There isn't even a word Dashboard anymore.

2.   I have just spent 3 hours. 3. god. damn. hours. Trying to get a draft post to load. No chance. I have 12 drafts and none will load. I just get a blank white screen staring stupidly at me staring stupidly at it.

3.   I tried to upload my own photo as a background on another blog and even after resizing it and making sure it was under 300k...30 minutes it later I still keep getting an error message stating there were "internal errors and could not complete" or some such bullshit. I am losing my mind!!!

4.   Navigating around inside blogger must be what a moth goes through trying to get out of a cocoon. You go here, nope, not where I meant to go...here, nope wrong again...repeat until insanity sets in.

I sent a long diatribe as feedback to Blogger. I never heard a peep or so much as "your feedback has been received and is being reviewed". Was there a unanimous vote by the group of monkeys posing as programmers that this was a good piece of shit work?? Maybe you have to be Mensa qualified to operate the platform now?  This is to Blogger what Vista was to Windows. Nobody asked me to beta test either one.

I think this sterile, unuser friendly, crapfest should return to its former self. If anyone out there has figured out how to work this with some degree of competence please let me know. I may be a moron.

I may not have heard from Blogger due to the expletive laced tirade and death threats I sent in my feedback...at least I have that. Bastards!

Let me hear from you, fellow Blogger bloggers.

I posted this after reading and listening to some of Alex's Metal Mix but I doubt that had anything to do with my state of mind. Rob Zombie usually mellows me out.

Today's Apocalypse Sign: The Bizarro World Of Blogger...

Well, the day is here. I am leaving this afternoon for the other side of the world. I am crossing the international date line and not looking back (unless there is a picture in it). Dallas to LAX is the first leg of the trip. I should have enough time in the LA airport to catch the Mavericks game before we catch Air Pacific for the 10 1/2 hour grind to Fiji. Go Mavs!

I have never flown over a large expanse of water for such a long period of time. On the one hand if there is trouble there may be a better chance of survival in the water but the down side to that is...sharks of course, and the fact you would be a millions miles from help (or they from you). The plus side is that there could be a Lost experience and really, isn't that why we all started watching that show. Following in the footsteps of John Locke I may have to pack an extra knife or two.

All goes well we will be in Fiji early Saturday morning and at Beqa resort by noon. Since this is a large group trip I have been elected to be the documentary person for the week. Pictures, video, audio the works. I think I will enjoy that! Bula!

As long as Ben doesn't move the frickin' island...

PS. After reading Pat Tillett's latest post on his blog I realize my frustration with being able to comment is not confined to me. Many of the blogs that I follow and have tried to comment on lately just will not let me do it. The comment format apparently has something to do with it. I cannot not even reply comment on my own blog! So to those of you that have been able to comment I have read and tried to respond but it would only show up as Anonymous Said: and I didn't allow that to go through. Too confusing and insulting. Hopefully this will be better when I get back.

No internet, phones, or TV where I am going so there will be no posts (except my pre-post for Sunday) until the 19th or 20th. Play nice while I am gone.

Today's Apocalypse Sign: Rehashing Already

Well here it is, only the fifth post on my brand new blog and I am rehashing already.

I was a little distracted today from things apocalyptical...either that or I just wasn't paying attention. Anyway, I have a couple things to comment on:

1. Yesterday's post about the Sleep Talking Man (read I presume by only ME) caused me to check his latest blog entries. He gained over 700 followers yesterday after his Today show and GMA appearances. Way to go STM and wife! (I don't think he gained any followers from the people who did not read MY blog.)

2. STM merchandise...I checked out their store, yes they have a on-line store with t-shirts and bags imprinted with some of Adam's best musings. $17 bucks USD for a t-shirt. I am now really thinking about my website idea from 10 years ago. There is obviously money to be made for stupid shit...I'm in for that!

3. I have fancied up the blog a bit by adding some gadgets. I included one about opinions on current events (not sure I like it enough to keep it on here long), one with Marilyn Manson MP3's, my favorite...the Mayan Calendar countdown to (what else) the Apocalypse, AND a daily saying from Buddha.

4. And finally I added a picture to my header...kinda symbolic of the desolate one-way ride we are all on. I did some black and white photos a year ago for Christmas so I used one of those.

Anyway, I'll see how I like the changes after a few days...they may stay or go as I deem necessary. There are lots of gadgets out there in bloggerland and since I'm an experimental kind of guy...who knows.

I'm still thinking of trademarking, copywriting, and forever owning "Fudge Monkeys". After I typed it in yesterday's post it has been stuck in my brain...could be a message from God.

Then again last year I was hooked on the word spatchcock...so again who knows.

The Packings play tomorrow late in the Big Easy. Join me in rooting Brett on to victory, cher...

-nytol

Today's Apocalypse Sign: Sleep Talking Man

As fate would have it I just recently had hit upon the Sleep Talking Man blog as I was reviewing the Blogger Blogs of Note. I even read a few of them to my wife. Some lines were funny, some over-the-top vulgar (not that it bothered me of course) and some nightly ramblings that appear to conceal some underlying childhood issues.

Then what to my wondering eyes should appear (definitely NOT Santa and 8 tiny reindeer) but a blurb about this husband and wife comedy act on my local news this morning. That's right, right here in Big D a mention of the sleep talking utterances of the UK man. Having read the blog and actually remembered it a few days ago, my curiousity was predicably peaked.

After a brief mention at the end of the local news cast the Today show loads up and Matt is running down the days top stories and WTF!...HE mentions the Sleep Talking Man, his blog, him and his wife in bed, etc. Well I missed the story as I had to bounce to work but resisted the urge to DVR it for later viewing. Obviously I started my morning a little stunned both at the fact that I knew about this story BEFORE it was on the news and that it was actually ON the news!

I confess, as soon as I got home tonight I entered the blogosphere to see what was on the Sleep Talking Man's blog. [If you have not read any of his blog at least check it out.] His viewing audience as of tonight is over 5700 followers. Very sadly (for journalistic learning purposes only) I added his blog to my list.

Now let's break this whole thing down:

A. The ramblings and utterances could just as easily be posted on a blog titled - Whiskey River Tourettes or Magic Mushroom Musings or whatever. Point is, this stuff is easily made up after a twelve-pack of Shiner shared with one of my friends. But sleep talking apparently has its charm and you can plead ignorance of all of it!

B. The strategy is good though...short posts (easy & quick to do), stringing shit together that makes no sense, shocking vulgarity interspersed just enough to keep you coming back. Brilliant!

C. Tee-Shirts? Now we are getting somewhere. The money making angle. This I like...this I will copy. In fact I am thinking of dusting off an old website concept I dabbled in 10 years ago just for the opportunity to monetize.

D. They were on the friggin' Today show y'all!!! I wish I had written down how many followers they had when I first went to the site. I remember it being a lot because I commented to my wife about it but I don't remember the number. Fudge monkeys!...hey! I can do this shit to, yo! I want to see how this beanstalk grows.

How about Pyschotic Typing Man, here goes...

Caged shrimp puppies...I don't like their wings...fly pups, fly, fly, fly

Eating time is no good...not now not ever...tomorrow is good for me...tough shit for you

Throw it out...out with the mouse..the mouse is about the house...eh hoser

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No problem...and no beer was harmed in this post

Later