Today's Apocalypse Sign: Google Search

I gotta tell ya, I'm confused about how this whole internet thing works. I have been traveling some websites today that have been around for as long as 4 years and they get no significant hits. I went back to the very first post on each site I was on and left a comment. Some of them were brilliant and yet no one had ever thought enough to leave a comment IF they even got read in the first place.

I do not believe any of MY great work so far has been read by anyone but myself.

I want to give you two examples that are polar opposites of each other (at least in my mind) and I want you to visit each site and judge for yourself which is truly the better site, contently speaking.

EXHIBIT A
Franks Funnies believe it or not I found this while doing a Google search for "apocalypse signs". His site is number 32 out of about 3,370,000. His site has nothing to do with the apocalypse and everything to do with really funny shit on a variety of subject matter. Click the link and see what I mean. You will spend at least an hour reading his stuff. I am now a follower of Frank.

EXHIBIT B
STM my favorite sleep talkin' man site. The entire first page of a search for "sleep talking man" is about this guy. It's okay for what it is but shit-fire did it go commercial fast! Check out his store. ALERT!! ALERT!!

Today's STM update:
7957 Followers (an increase of over 2200 in a little over a week)
2,351,127 Unique Vistors to his site

The best I can figure is this site has been up for about a year. The postings were very sporadic at first. Example: between June 16th and September 8th...nothing. Then STM was a featured "blog of note" on blogger.com. Now that the gravy train is rolling they are coming fast and furious. Here is my work.
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So now I start searching Google to see if I can find my site in ANY way possible.

I search "apocalypse signs". Stopped at 10 pages but the bonus here is I found Franksfunnies.

I search "signs of the apocalypse". This returns 367,000 results. Again after ten pages I stop. I did how ever stumble on this little terrifying site. I downloaded the survival list and I am now going to starting saving to join this lovely bunch of coconuts. Cause really, what the hell good is my site going to be if the poles shift, and their gig sounds like a hoot. As usual...too late to the blogging party.

Then I search "a pack a lips now". This was the name of my blog a few hours ago. What do you think I got back?? Ready? 1,030,000 results! WTF times 2!!

Who in the hell would even type in that term except a nutbag like me?

Cruel reality...even THAT exact term brought up no webpage of mine. I went through 50 pages. FIFTY! I had no more time left to be toyed with so I am assuming that my site is result number 1,029,999. Hey, I'm optimistic, what can I say. Fuck, that sucks.

So now I have renamed my blog Apocalypse Now. Stupid me, when I set it up I was searching for a site name that had apocalypse in it and nothing was available that I liked (and I really didn't try all that hard, but hard enough).

So my site name is THIS, but my blog name is Apocalypse Now. I know those of you who are reading this at some future date will think I'm a blogging simpleton but this is my first forage into the public blogosphere, I'm learning (I think).

I knew there was such a thing as a "Google Slap" and it was to be feared above all else by bloggers and webmasters...but what I didn't know until today was there is also a...

Google Kick In The Nuts

My only answer to that lies in the lyrics to this great Webb Wilder ditty...




Google may be the Antichrist (Please don't kick me again...)

Maybe I need to try some Adsense...or common sense

or some sleep...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Today's Apocalypse Sign: ABBA

Don't confuse this ABBA...with this ABBA.

When I started this blog I was a little worried about being able to fill these pages with true signs of the Apocalypse. My worry diminishes by the day. Now I just worry if anyone else will ever find and read this blog. At least I have a hit counter now so I can tell how many times I read it!

So this morning the Saturday Today Show with Lester and the gang gives us this gem for our sign of the day>>>>>>>>>>>>>>AbbaWorld!

Now I gotta tell ya, after yesterday's somewhat somber post, this gave me huge pause. ABBAWorld, no shit!

If this is able to get off the ground then can ChuckWorld be far behind?

When I did a Google search for "ABBAWorld" it returned 437,000 results!

I found a 1976 video:

My wife loves Mamma Mia! the movie, which features the music of ABBA and I'm okay with all that but I still don't get ABBAWORLD. I was willing to let it all go but on the Today show, the finale of the news article was {shudder here} ABBA Karaoke!

This featured a regular women dancing AND singing (badly) in front of a green screen while avatar-like images of ABBA danced and sang with her while playing instruments. It was the funniest thing I had seen in a couple days.

I guess the fact that I was into Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, and other rock bands in the 70's kind of kept disco bands off my radar...and out of my 8-track player! Somewhat ironic then that Zeppelin recorded their In Through The Out Door album at ABBA's state of the art recording studio in Stockholm. There's a trivia question answer if you ever need it.

So in the true spirit of ABBA - WTF? today I say, if you haven't read this blog before...

Take a Chance On Me....

Time to Wii

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URGENT STM UPDATE:

• 7809 followers (up 2100 in a week)
• 2,280,488 unique vistors
• There is more STM shit you can buy...including ringtones and aprons, WFT?
  
  
  

Today's Apocalypse Sign: Tiger Woods

Okay, I had to finally work up the courage to write this post. It is a big thing for me.

I have been a golfer all my adult life. I have enjoyed golf both playing and spectating. I was a fan of Jack back in the 70's. But I was pretty much fanless up until Tiger came on the scene playing amateur golf.

All golfing "dynasties" (is there such a thing in a non-team sport?) were all mainly before my time except for Jack and Arnie. And Arnie was winding down when I really got into playing. For over 20 years I had no one to really rally around in the sport of golf.

But then in the mid-90's here comes this phenom golfer that learned the game from his dad almost before he could walk. The story started and kept growing...the name, "Tiger", mixed-race, focused on Jack's Major record...he is all over the sports news. Golf has a saviour and his name is Tiger Woods.

Golf is a hard game. If you play you know that, if you don't play, go try it sometime. It is a really hard game to do consistently. It is the only major sport where if you do not make the cut each week, you make no real money. If you do not make the top 125 on the money list (no matter how long you have been a pro) you have to go back to qualifying school just to be able to play the next year. In basketball or football you have the potential of getting paid millions of dollars for not even playing (injured, benched, second string)...not in golf. If you don't play, you don't eat...so to speak...and I mean play well.

So here comes Tiger to save the entire sport of golf. The pressure has crushed many a golfer before him. It crushed David Duval (who I am a fan of). I watched him play some brilliant golf and then I watched him play some horrid golf and he was literally out of the game for several years. Tiger after winning two Amateur titles was being hailed as the second coming of golfing Jesus.

While so many before him had, Tiger did not disappoint. He had an aura about him from the minute he turned pro and stepped on the course. I can say I played the TPC course in Las Vegas a couple weeks before Tiger's first tournament at the Las Vegas Invitational. (I also saw Joe Peschi on the driving range).

Without making a 40-mile long post regaling all of Tiger's accomplishments, I will now fast-forward to the apocalypse sign that is Tiger Woods.

His life could not have been more perfect. Gorgeous trophy wife, 2 kids, literally a billion dollars in net worth, Jack's record within 3 or 4 years of breaking, over 70 tournament victories on the PGA, tons of lucrative endorsments...and I fear, a deep sense of invincibility. How the mighty fall.

It had started to amaze me the last 3 or 4 years. Every tournament he played in I wanted to watch. No matter where he started the weekend there was this sense that he could win...no other golfer put off that vibe. His playing in a tournament made it electric. The galleries were crushing. Players who had the misfortune to be partnered with him faded in the background. If it was the final round of a tournament, NO ONE wanted to be partnered with him because they knew they had no chance. This mystique has gone on for years.

Some may identify with having major reconstructive knee surgery. Tiger comes back 8 months after that and ends the year winning 7 tournaments...and a second $10 million dollar FedEx Cup! Are you kidding me?? Up until Thanksgiving it was an unbelieveable fantasy year. Then the bitches got the best of him!

I know it's easy for us regular people to sit back and say, "How the hell did that happen?" He had everything and threw it all alway for some booty calls. Ironically I actually feel better now that there may be something to this sex addiction thing. Seriously, his wife is still really smokin' hot after two kids and who wouldn't be satisfied with that, coupled with all his money and fame?

Now who knows when or if he will ever play again. The Majors without Tiger (and most tournaments in general) are just not that fun to watch if he is not playing. Do not for a minute think that all other golfers are glad his future is uncertain...he was the game, he saved the game (read: sponsors) in the tough economic times. TV ratings when he was playing were always spiked which means advertising (read: sponsors) rates went up. Everybody won...mostly Tiger.

I am not even looking forward to the Masters all that much. Chasing Jack's record was a huge draw for golf fans. Really, is anybody lining up to see if Kenny Perry, Angel Cabrera, or Lee Westwood might win this year. Their chance of missing the cut is just as good. Without Tiger, golf is just up for grabs. And that my friends is what makes it hard to get up for (no series of puns intended).

I wanted Tiger to be the golfing Messiah to the end of his career, sadly that may have already come true...on both counts.

Damn it Tiger...I am so disappointed! You double-bogeyed your life my friend.

Fore Right!

Today's Apocalypse Sign: TV Reality Shows

First a quick update on the STM...over 7400 followers and 2,086,000 unique visitors. That is over 1700 new followers since last weeks appearance on the Today show and GMA. And I don't even have one reader yet (that I know of, since I haven't installed a hit counter). Oh well, he who laughs last, right?

Okay, today I finally have to get into Reality Show TV.

Apocalypse sign extraordinaire!

Back in the 90's I was good with Seinfeld, Friends, NYPD Blue (always for the boobie shots), L&O, ER, X-Files, Millennium, and other sitcoms and dramas. There was not one reality TV show on, and if by some chance there actually was, I don't remember the name of it. The term "reality TV" was not even in the vocab .

I mean when ER finally ran its course after like 15 years, I truly thought I was a doctor! This was honestly the most riveting show on TV. It was what I considered reality TV at the time and I can proudly say I saw every single episode. I was actually sad when it ended...like losing a good friend.

Now, holy shit!...I want a reality TV show. Every possible stupid idea is becoming a television show. To whit:


Cake Boss
WTF...a show about baking and decorating...you guessed it CAKES! Who freakin' cares...my wife that's who, she watches this show and I am happy for her.


Undercover Boss
This was spawned I'm sure from a similar brain as the one above. This one is due to air after the Super Bowl. It's not too hard to figure out what it's all about...CEO dons worker-bee garb and infiltrates the company's workforce to I guess find out if he could be an hourly employee, or if the workers are happy, or how fast he can get "fired" before revealing who he really is. Sounds like a yawner to me.


Little Miss Perfect
I don't know much about this show. My wife also watches it and when I walk in the room it is immediately paused. What very little I've witnessed seems very disturbing and borderline child porn or mental abuse. Something to do with very young girl beauty pageants. Again, not watching this could cause me to jump to conclusions.


Hell's Kitchen
Let me say this, if I was truly in this hostile environment I would have killed that bastard by now and fed him to somebody. In an Eating Raul kind of way. Seriously, how do you think it is a good idea to berate and belittle a gang (not one or two) of would be chefs with very sharp instruments at their disposal? I am really surprised someone has not snapped after the show and taken out the Devil with a sous-chef knife in the back alley.


Survivor
Oddly...No interest whatsoever. This is "real business-like life on Wall Street" stuff boiled down to bikinis, loin cloths, headbands, and really smelly people. Deception, plotting, nasty food, Lord of The Flies atmosphere. DO NOT care at all. Maybe in another life.


The Little Couple (or some crazy shit like that)
This one hooked me like a sturgeon for 15 minutes as I was channel surfing (now a days a really dangerous sport!). Premise...two married dwarfs, midgets, whatever is the correct term de jour, living in an apartment. This whole episode apparently had to do with taking their "little" dog to get trained. That's it! Really? Will someone please come and film me and my dog...please, and pay me. At the end the "little" lady had bought the dog some kind of rhinestone harness to wear. That is what I got out of the end of the show.

Now for the funny part...everything in the apartment is life-size! Getting on and off the couch like a four-year old, feet sticking straight out while the "little" guy pondered whether his dog was really trained. Very emotion-packed. Ya can't help but laugh.

But wait it gets better...I stayed long enough to watch the previews for the next week's show...SHE goes to Florida and HE goes to Galveston and they both (I just can't make this up) go deep sea fishing! That's right...big boat, big poles, big fish, no parachute! I immediately, and I mean immediately consider setting my DVR for this upcoming show.

Why?? The challenge is who will catch the biggest fish...I say, it is really about which midget gets jerked off the boat like a cartoon character and goes skimming along the water like a fishing fly! As soon as one of those 500 lb sailfish snatches their hook, it's over. They actually showed them holding poles that were in the water...no harnesses or anything but little tiny life vests. This will be great! I almost peed my pants at the thought of this. To test the humor factor of it I re-told this preview the next day at work to my department and they were in tears. That passes my test!

Yeah, well I didn't set my DVR and missed the showed. Maybe for the best as I can imagine the outcome as I like and still laugh about it...like I'm doing now...ha ha ha! As Dudley Moore said in the great movie Arthur, "Sometimes I just think funny things".

Then...


The start of it all, at least as far as exploding the popularity....

THIS IS YOURRRRRRRRRR.....


American Idol!
I will admit to watching this the first couple seasons. I love Kelly Clarkson's voice and she's from the DFW area. Then in an effort to continually increase ratings, the show became bloated with the try-outs from around the country. Bringing us such singing sensations as William Hung with his chilling version of She Bang...and he got an album deal out of it???...Apocalypse take us all now! It just got ridiculous and contrived. Maybe I'm too sophisticated.

I'll watch the final week or two now with my wife but she watches every single show for 5 months...it is the only show on for 2 to 4 hours every week for that long. It has become mind numbing. Simon leaves after this year...show tanks. My prediction.


Deadliest Catch
Love this show due to two big reasons: 1) it is really happening! People die...boats sink...the work is backbreaking and you can feel the weather, 2) the season is real short, only a few episodes and it is over for a year.


The Biggest Loser
If you have never seen it it's not what you may think...it is a weight loss show. An extreme weight loss show. There are people weighing well over 400 pounds being driven like pack mules in the gym by fitness drill sargents. For most of them, cardiac arrest seems eminent throughout the exercise sessions. I must say that I have caught the end of some of these finales and it is truly amazing what these people have done with their physical selves. Even those who don't win are changed forever.

This is a good reality show...yet I am sure there are lazy fat people eating ice cream on their couch watching this. They are either saying I could do that if I wanted to or they feel completely hopeless and want to OD on the Haggen Daz they are eating. Either way, denial or poor self-esteem some people are worse off for this show being on the air.


There are tons more. WARNING: DO NOT CLICK HERE!

There are more being thought up right now as I type. When I need something to post in the future I will surely re-hash this topic.

I leave you with a thought to ponder...What effect do you think these shows have on society today? Don't we all know someone or maybe several someones that watch damn near every one of these shows that comes on? Every week. What does this do for their mental state of mind?

Alright time to go..."Bones" and "Fringe" are about to come on and I gotta have my non-reality TV!

May the force be with you....

Todays Apocalypse Sign: Taco Bell Drive-Thru Diet

Well it finally happened...and I am quite frankly shocked at how long it took TO happen. Someone finally challenged Subway's supremacy at healthy fast food. This as we all know is a huge, I mean H U G E oxymoron. There has not been anything healthy about fast food since the first fry hit the hot grease back in the fifties.


Subway has been the exception to your typical fast food fare. For several reasons it just looked healthier than anything else out there.


Nothing fried, broiled, artificialized* (I mean come on, burger places used a product called "cheese food" when I worked there years ago) and most importantly of all... you could SEE everything that was being put on your sub two feet a way.


This was revolutionary for fast food.


Now I am sure the food is as processed as it can be. I doubt seriously the chicken products are free-range, the lettuce, tomatoes and other veggies are not organically grown, and the other meats are probably chock full of preservatives, but Subway just LOOKED healthier. And compared to everything else, it may be. So the move to capitalizing on the whole Jared weight-loss thing was marketing genius...and look how long it has gone on and no one else stepped up to knock Subway off the top of the "health heap".


That is until of all places, Taco Bell enters the fray. (Remember the outcry from the health industry when Kentucky Fried Chicken tried to claim THEY were a healthy food choice...are you kidding me!) That's what I thought when I heard the name Taco Bell Drive-Thru Diet. Somebody had some balls.


I have to admit that I was so stunned the first time I saw the commercial I didn't even remember the name of the fast food chain promoting this "diet". Seriously...I told my wife I thought it was a commercial for Taco Cabana. I didn't even rewind the DVR to verify the name. That is how difficult it has been for me to accept that real money has been spent on this campaign by Taco Bell.

Healthy diet and Taco Bell in the same sentence??

I mean Taco Bell??? I remember how funny it was in the Sandra Bullock/Sly Stallone movie (Judge Dredd, I think) that Taco Bell was the only survivor of the "restaurant wars" and it was now THE place to dine. THAT, I remember...THAT, was funny, ya know because it was very much a satire on the whole fast food thing.

Now here we have the gutsiest marketing move ever in the fast food industry...Taco Bell helped Christine (who is smokin' hot in her purple bikini) lose 54 pounds over 2 years eating this menu. I have to ask...if she was eating from this menu for two years and I just heard about the menu a couple weeks ago...where has Taco Bell been hiding this menu? In a Muchaco?? Gordito? Where?

After you visit the site, look at the photo gallery, and watch the video, ask yourself a few questions...1) does that before picture and her current picture even look like the same person? (and she dropped a quarter of her weight loss in her boobs I think); 2) is the diet based on eating just ONE of these items? if so, will one item satisfy an average non-bulemic person?; 3) is it just me or did the guy driving through the drive-thru in the video also get a sugar laden large soft drink with his Fresco food?; 4) if Christine's calorie intake as they say was around 1700 to 1800 per day prior to this "diet" how did she get as big in her "before" picture? That is not many calories to begin with.

Obviously there are disclaimers all over the place on every page of this diet. The one that struck me the oddest is the "20 to 100 calories less than our normal menu item". No wonder it took two years.

Anyway, the site is offering a coupon for a free trial of an item on the menu, more marketing genius (odds are you will also buy the sugar laden drink to go with your free item). Soooooooo


I am going to take the test. Years ago I ate at Taco Bell fairly regularly so I think I can still give a fairly honest comparison to their regular menu.


I'd also like to invite follow blogger Jenn who has an affinity for Taco Bell to also take the test. After all two opinions are at least...well...two opinions. And she has been hugely successful in losing 57 pounds since July of last year...unbelieveable! Oh, and she looks really hot! Check out her blog, she is really good with it.



















My dinner tonight and The Taco Bell coupon for the free Fresco


It was so difficult to print the coupon off of my computer I had time to go make my own chicken and cheese burrito thingy.

After I try the free Fresco Taco I will report back on my thoughts...

Until then for whom the Bell tolls...Hemingway, Metallica, and now the Drive-Thru Diet...

God I miss the Taco Bell chihuahua

Rock on and drive through!

*if this aint a real word then its mine!!

Today's Apocalypse Sign: Rehashing Already

Well here it is, only the fifth post on my brand new blog and I am rehashing already.

I was a little distracted today from things apocalyptical...either that or I just wasn't paying attention. Anyway, I have a couple things to comment on:

1. Yesterday's post about the Sleep Talking Man (read I presume by only ME) caused me to check his latest blog entries. He gained over 700 followers yesterday after his Today show and GMA appearances. Way to go STM and wife! (I don't think he gained any followers from the people who did not read MY blog.)

2. STM merchandise...I checked out their store, yes they have a on-line store with t-shirts and bags imprinted with some of Adam's best musings. $17 bucks USD for a t-shirt. I am now really thinking about my website idea from 10 years ago. There is obviously money to be made for stupid shit...I'm in for that!

3. I have fancied up the blog a bit by adding some gadgets. I included one about opinions on current events (not sure I like it enough to keep it on here long), one with Marilyn Manson MP3's, my favorite...the Mayan Calendar countdown to (what else) the Apocalypse, AND a daily saying from Buddha.

4. And finally I added a picture to my header...kinda symbolic of the desolate one-way ride we are all on. I did some black and white photos a year ago for Christmas so I used one of those.

Anyway, I'll see how I like the changes after a few days...they may stay or go as I deem necessary. There are lots of gadgets out there in bloggerland and since I'm an experimental kind of guy...who knows.

I'm still thinking of trademarking, copywriting, and forever owning "Fudge Monkeys". After I typed it in yesterday's post it has been stuck in my brain...could be a message from God.

Then again last year I was hooked on the word spatchcock...so again who knows.

The Packings play tomorrow late in the Big Easy. Join me in rooting Brett on to victory, cher...

-nytol

Today's Apocalypse Sign: Sleep Talking Man

As fate would have it I just recently had hit upon the Sleep Talking Man blog as I was reviewing the Blogger Blogs of Note. I even read a few of them to my wife. Some lines were funny, some over-the-top vulgar (not that it bothered me of course) and some nightly ramblings that appear to conceal some underlying childhood issues.

Then what to my wondering eyes should appear (definitely NOT Santa and 8 tiny reindeer) but a blurb about this husband and wife comedy act on my local news this morning. That's right, right here in Big D a mention of the sleep talking utterances of the UK man. Having read the blog and actually remembered it a few days ago, my curiousity was predicably peaked.

After a brief mention at the end of the local news cast the Today show loads up and Matt is running down the days top stories and WTF!...HE mentions the Sleep Talking Man, his blog, him and his wife in bed, etc. Well I missed the story as I had to bounce to work but resisted the urge to DVR it for later viewing. Obviously I started my morning a little stunned both at the fact that I knew about this story BEFORE it was on the news and that it was actually ON the news!

I confess, as soon as I got home tonight I entered the blogosphere to see what was on the Sleep Talking Man's blog. [If you have not read any of his blog at least check it out.] His viewing audience as of tonight is over 5700 followers. Very sadly (for journalistic learning purposes only) I added his blog to my list.

Now let's break this whole thing down:

A. The ramblings and utterances could just as easily be posted on a blog titled - Whiskey River Tourettes or Magic Mushroom Musings or whatever. Point is, this stuff is easily made up after a twelve-pack of Shiner shared with one of my friends. But sleep talking apparently has its charm and you can plead ignorance of all of it!

B. The strategy is good though...short posts (easy & quick to do), stringing shit together that makes no sense, shocking vulgarity interspersed just enough to keep you coming back. Brilliant!

C. Tee-Shirts? Now we are getting somewhere. The money making angle. This I like...this I will copy. In fact I am thinking of dusting off an old website concept I dabbled in 10 years ago just for the opportunity to monetize.

D. They were on the friggin' Today show y'all!!! I wish I had written down how many followers they had when I first went to the site. I remember it being a lot because I commented to my wife about it but I don't remember the number. Fudge monkeys!...hey! I can do this shit to, yo! I want to see how this beanstalk grows.

How about Pyschotic Typing Man, here goes...

Caged shrimp puppies...I don't like their wings...fly pups, fly, fly, fly

Eating time is no good...not now not ever...tomorrow is good for me...tough shit for you

Throw it out...out with the mouse..the mouse is about the house...eh hoser

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No problem...and no beer was harmed in this post

Later

Today's Apocalypse Sign: The Packings

This really should have been my first post since I have been deeply disturbed by this since last summer. However the Haiti thing was so current I had to comment on it first.

Okay, to set the stage, I have been a Green Bay Packers fan for as long as I have been alive. I saw everything they did in the 60's as a kid and still remember to this day watching the Ice Bowl against the Cowboys.

Brett Favre has been an amazing football player and remains one to this day. Green Bay was lucky to have him for 16 years at the helm because in today's free agent market that is a rarity. I knew every game they played they had a chance to win (and sometimes lose) because Brett was under center. No lead was too safe for the other team. No lead was ever safe enough for the Packers. With other personnel changing it always felt comfortable knowing Brett was always there to start. He made players around him better and he enjoyed the game win or lose. I believe that he is the greatest quarterback to ever play the game for many reasons.

When he retired the first time I was devastated. It was the aftershock of the stunning loss to the Giants in the NFC Championship game that year. I thought after that game, surely he would be back for one more year with that great team so close...then BAM a retirement speech!

After I got over the initial disappointment (I take my Packers football very seriously) I actually felt good about Aaron Rodgers being the next Packers QB. He had understudied with Brett for 3 years and had played pretty good in the Cowboys game that year when Brett got hurt in the first quarter. You saw glimpses then of what he has now become as a starter the last two years.

Yeah, Yeah, I AM getting to my point just shut up.

Then Brett unretired and ended up with the Jets. That ended up a flop, cost the Jets coach his job, and Brett retired again. I thought, Okay, he is done now and life will go on. Nooooooo!

Rumblings started in the spring about will he or won't he sign with another team. Then I hear whispers from my friends about talks with the Vikings. I paled when I heard those rumors. Anyone with half a football brain knows the Vikings and Bears are the two hated rivals of the Packers and have been as long as I've known what a football was. And here was my favorite Packer player joining one of them...the enemy! Ahhhhhhhhh!!!

I was in DEEP denial over the possibility of Brett going to the Vikings. For chrissakes they already had Darren Sharper play for them and Ryan Longwell IS playing for them! This can't be happening, I kept saying. It won't happen. I was going to will it NOT to happen. Alright calm the hell down...breathe...better, okay.

Well of course I affected nothing and Brett joined the Vikings at the last possible moment to learn any plays at all before the season started. For all I know they changed the play book to the last plays Brett remembered from Green Bay. I was stunned and confused...and pissed off! I know it's a business and only fans talk loyalty, but shit Brett, the Vikings???

To make matters worse, the first game of the season? You guessed it...Vikings at Lambeau. Fuck me! This really can't be happening, oh yeah...it was on national TV at night! I love the Packers...I love Brett and seeing him run out of the visitors tunnel in a Purple Vikings jersey at Lambeau field??? Tell me if that is not a sign of the Apocalypse, football fans, I dare you. I was very disturbed the whole game.

Of course the Pack loses. The Vikings looked very strong. Of course they go on to start the season undefeated for several weeks (while beating the Packers a second time in their Dome). The Packers stumble to 4-4 while the Vikes go 8-0. There are no words to describe this nightmare. I had been all revved up for what I thought would be a good season (I figured 10-6 would be a fair turn around from the prior year) and here we were .500 half way through. WTF plus one!

Well to the Pack's credit they finished the season strong at 7-1, pummelled the Cowboys (loved that game, should have recorded it), and finished one game behind the Vikes at 11-5. They were the hottest NFC team coming down the stretch. A split with the Vikes and a win in Pittsburgh (that should have been) and they win the NFC North!

Now to the playoffs.

Stunned again as the Packers routed the Cardinals mightily in the final game of the season... and then play a Dr Jekyll/Mr Hyde game the next week against the Cards in the Wildcard game that featured invisible defensive players on both sides, to lose 51-45 in OT and Rodgers missing a wide open man after winning the coin toss that would have ended the game.

Vikings drilled the Cowboys like new meat in a prison shower and are off to the NFC Championship against a good Saints team.

Now at long last the purpose of this post...I am rooting for the Packings to beat the Saints this weekend. Brett will always be a Packer in my heart no matter what and I want him to set records that will never be broken in two lifetimes. For the next two games I am a rabid Brett Favre fan in spite of the uniform he wears. I want to see him crush the Saints in their own Dome and destroy whoever the AFC might send against him in the Big game.

So go Brett! Go Packings! (It's the best I can do.)

-)Chuck

Today's Apocalypse Sign: A Sign Of Things To Come

Wow! The Lips sure are talking today.

More than a couple Kennedys are truly rolling over in their graves. Imagine, a Republican Senator elected in the great Democratic state of Mass. God surely is Republican. What other election in any state could have had so much significance?

What can this mean for the future?

First, no matter what the Dems say, the mid-term elections are now W I D E open. I believe you can mark this on your calendar...the Republicans will win the majority of all seats up for election this coming November.

Second, the Obamanation of a "hellth care reform bill" is in serious trouble. I say "thank God"! Everything I have read and studied on this subject scares the shit out of me and more than a few people I know. The blatant bribery and buying of Senate votes to get the first 60 they needed should make everyone involved impeachable. For any of them to get re-elected at anytime is a disgrace of our Democracy. Only seeing Pelosi and Reid run out of town on a rail would give me more pleasure than the failing of the garbage that is trying to be passed off as "health care to benefit Americans".


Next, I would be remiss if I did not mention the fact that Haiti suffered another huge quake today registering 6.0. I also heard today for the first time that there have been aftershocks pretty much every day since the 7.0 first hit.

The fact that they are still pulling out people alive is astonishing. Please read yesterday's post and spread the word. I know Bill has to see the news in his Smarthouse.

Lastly for today, I want to comment on the airline security issue.

Seems we can't get this one right. Thankfully it is good Americans like yourself that are slipping through the screening process and not those that would do us harm. However, this gives the Haters optimism that if enough of them try...some may get through. Scary thought.

Exhibit A: a guy forgets he has shotgun shells in his carry on luggage and is able to get ON the plane. Just a quick off-load, re-screen and back on the plane to finish the flight. How much damage do you think two shotgun shells could do if ignited at 30,000 feet? I'm betting more than enough. Fortunately the passenger wasn't a Hater. But this gives those who are, hope.

Exhibit B: a passenger finds a pocket knife apparently left wedged in a seat by a previous passenger. It appears this is being claimed as an accidental "left behind" incident. Maybe. It is however a step up from a box cutter. Plane was emptied and all passengers were re-screened while the authorities went through the plane inch by inch.

Exhibit C: the Underpants Bomber, what a way to go down in history! Could there be a worse name to have tagged to you forever. Do the Haters seriously believe Allah wants them to wrap explosives around their balls and blow something up? Even though this is fairly old news now, we should all be glad that all that came of this was endless late night TV jokes.

All this brings to mind the old saying, "sometimes its better to be lucky than good". But eventually all luck runs out. I've played cards...I know this.

Til tomorrow...

Today's Apocalypse Sign: How Much Money Does One Man Need?

With the disaster in Haiti monopolizing the news for the last week, I thought it time to reflect on what is really a tragedy. I am speaking of course about the relief efforts. Oh, don't get me wrong, I believe that the world (and the US specifically) is swiftly coming to the aid of one of the poorest countries in the western world. What I am concerned about is the manner in which the US relief is being funded.

Before getting into the full roll here, I would like to set the playing field.

1. Haiti is a very poor country. Infrastructure is barely above primitive man in many areas. Unsanitary conditions, tin shacks, unpaved roads and THEN a 7.0 earthquake. Nothing could be more devastating.


2. Hundreds of thousands of people, many of them women and children, are now homeless. Many are injured and some at risk for amputation of arms or legs. The streets of Port Au Prince are literally bedrooms, hospital rooms, and morgues. People are being flown out to moored ships for surgery.


3. With almost 2 million people crammed into a small area of land bordered by ocean and only one barely paved road to the Dominican Republic on the other side of the island, the risk of widespread disease could rise to epidemic levels in short order...especially with the temperature and humidity in the area creating a fertile breeding ground along with the limited sanitation.


4. So much relief is coming in so fast there is no place to handle it all. Planes are circling the small airport for hours. Soon the airport will be so crowded with relief planes, supplies, and personnel there will be no room for any more planes to land. Supplies being trucked from the Dominican Republic are on the road for almost 10 hours to reach P-A-P. In the coming days these caravans could be subject to hijackings by desperate Haitians.


5. There appears to be no coordinated effort of the various factions of the relief efforts so there is just a lot of action. In the early days this may suffice but shortly chaos will start creeping in.

I am sure many additional observations could be made but I will stop at 5.

Ever since Hurricane Katrina and the relief debacle that followed, the US has been quick on the trigger whenever catastrophic events have taken place. First the tsunami halfway around the world and now the Haitian earthquake. Both possible signs the apocalypse could be upon us.

The Myans may have it right about 2012.

Here is the motivation for this blog and for this first post.

Getting money to agencies that need it and getting supplies bought with said money to those who ultimately need it.

First for donations...there are many who are asking for donations, some like the Red Cross are certainly trustworthy to donate to...others are complete scams. As always the worst in times brings out the worst in human nature. Many people have already been scammed by Haitian relief frauds.

The texting to 90999 goes somewhere and adds $10 to your phone bill and then the money goes somewhere...I've seen lots of ads for this but cannot for the life of me remember the agency THIS money is going to. Stick with the Red Cross if you want to help and be sure your donation will really help.

Second, I want to explore what to me is always the obvious in these situations. Why couldn't the top 100 richest people on the face of the earth donate $10 million each? This would be an immediate windfall of $1 billion in the coffers to provide any damn thing needed right now and the short-term future.

Further more, put these same people in a room to decide on a board of directors to oversee the managment of this money in the relief effort. They are all shrewd business men of some sort and know how to prudently spend money to get the maximum effect. Cut the red tape, get shit done, and move this thing along at light speed...that would be their mandate.

Besides the human factor that the relief efforts must urgently address, someone has to start addressing the rebuilding that will certainly have to take place. With the potential of 10's of thousands of bodies buried beneath the rubble and the risk of all sorts of disease sprouting up, this group can begin the task of coordinating the shipments of heavy machinery (many of them have friends in construction and should be able to get either donations of equipment or great deals on the purchase) and other items required for what will surely be a massive and long-lasting rebuilding effort. If it actually get's started.

I don't want to attempt to layout a whole plan here, but you get the idea. By God those who have, need to help! They should be ashamed to just sit back and let the ones who can afford it least, shoulder the load. I watched a show the other night on TV and one of the actor's lines stuck with me. When an FBI agent was using a big-time arms dealer to help him catch a not so nice arms dealer, he asked him, "How much money does one man need? It's about doing the right thing."

I say Amen twice to that. Mr Gates, Mr Buffett, and yes even you Mr Cuban and all the others on the Top 100 Richest list...you've worked hard for what you have earned, I say "How much money does one man need? It's about doing the right thing." And Bill...let's be honest, you could and probably should pony up the billion by yourself. Then Warren wouldn't want to be outdone so maybe we start a humanitarian tsunami...what a thought.

I will leave you with this...NASA is selling two space shuttles for the discounted price of $28 million each. They have 20 bidders lined up so far. I say let those 20 bidders put their $28 million each to better use...that would be $560 million dollars to go to the relief efforts. Ya see, getting 3 or 4 billion dollars pulled together in short order is no real trick at all.

And the bonus...we are not relying on or asking ordinary everyday people who barely have enough to live on, lost their home, have been downsized, or are just simply struggling in today's economy to donate what little they are gladly donating to help people in another country to try and survive.

Because right now, as it is, if not them then who?