Today's Apocalypse Sign: Time For Some Zzzz's

Zee End

Time to reward myself with some hard earned Zzzz's. A week of naps after work are now in order. We are at the end of the A-Z Challenge for April 2011. I have to thank Alex J. Cavanaugh for his mention of my blog on his A post. Thank God I didn't name my blog Zed is Dead or I might not have made it. With his help I gained 22 followers, over 30 comments and 200 page views the very first day of the challenge.

I want to thank all those who took time to visit me and also to those who became followers. I am hoping that by the time this day ends I will have gained that one follower needed to reach an even hundred. I will try and keep all those who still read, entertained and wanting to come back for more.

I can hardly say how glad I am that I decided to participate in this month-long blogfest that is the A-Z Challenge. The blogs I have discovered and enjoyed. The blogs I have learned from in just reading and viewing them. Discovering other parts of the country and even some close to home bloggers. taking part in a group effort without physically knowing or seeing the group has proven to be an odd but enjoyable feeling. Knowing that each night I was going to open Blogger and get lost for a couple of hours (at least).

I apologize to some of my blogging regulars that I didn't get to be very regular with if they were not participating in the challenge, I shall return. I am going to develop a new rhythm to my posting and reading that will allow me to read without the pressure to post at the same time. I will never be a 100 blog a day follower or a consistent every day writer of posts but which ever I do on a given day will get my full attention.

It's been a fun ride and I'm on to new adventures...

Til next time...keep your powder dry!

Today's Apocalypse Sign : One Of My Yesterdays

Yoda said, "Do, or do not...there is no try." Sage advice from a green pointy-eared hobbit-like creature.

So I will Do...something I have not done before, a repost. The only tie is has with the letter Y is the title of the post begins with Y...the title - You Never Really Know Someone. Original post date was July 6th, 2010. It is longer than I would like for the Challenge post, but events have forced this to the forefront of my thinking again... the trial is about to begin and one of my co-workers has been subpoenaed for that trial.

There were only 5 comments on the first go round so this will be new to many.

One of my Yesterdays...

I have been thinking long and hard about this for the past couple of weeks. Does anyone really know their fellow man? A friend. A spouse. A family member. A colleague. Think of the times you have said, "I can't believe so-and-so did or didn't do this or that." When is the last time you said it?

Most of the time this is usually about something trivial...I can't believe he could afford that car." or "I can't believe she moved clear across the country". And when I say trivial I don't mean unimportant, I mean these are not shocking-to-the-core type events. Nothing like what I experienced 12 days days ago when I found out a work-friend had strangled his wife to death in their house.

See? You don't know me or him and it is shocking to read those words in print isn't it? How do you react when you get news that is like a spike to the base of the brain?

I am not even sure I heard what I was hearing at that time I was being told. Stunned disbelief was a huge understatement. I could not even process it. Here was someone I had worked with for over 10 years, had been to his house, had met his wife and kids, ate dinner there...he had smoked brisket for me a couple times and always smoked turkey and ham for our company Christmas and Thanksgiving dinners. He was an all-around good guy.

He was our company landscape maintenance technician. Always in good humor, joking with the girls in the office whenever he came in to turn in his expenses or get a check to buy supplies. This is how I saw him when he was in the office less than 24 hours before he murdered his wife. How the hell do you process that? It reminds me of the IQ test question, "look at these four things and decide which one doesn't fit". None of this fit with the man I "knew".

They say after strangling her in their home (fortunately their kids had gone to San Antonio to spend the summer with their grandparents) he loaded her body into the front seat of their SUV and drove about a mile to the Lutheran church and left it there with her inside. Presumably he walked home. She was found the next morning ironically by the church landscaper and the Reverend. He was arrested shortly thereafter.

My mind was on hyper-drive for some days after this. For a young man (mid-thirties) who spent most of his day outdoors in the sun and fresh air, he may never get to enjoy that again. He will never drive a car, swim in a pool, play with his kids in the park, take a vacation, earn a living, play in the snow, smell the scents of a Mexican restaurant when the wind blows just right. He will never have a Merry Christmas or a Happy New Year. His kids will never know their father tucking them in at night or buying them an ice cream cone on a sweltering summer day. In one fell swoop these children went from being happy go-lucky kids to no longer having parents. His wife will know even less.

Everything I looked at daily or remembered about this man I "knew" was quickly distilled into the rapidly filling column of my mental ledger entitled Things He Will Never Get To Do Again. Odd thoughts throughout the day, especially when I'd walk outside and smell the air or feel the sun.

This was one first of a lifetime I could have easily done without.

Speculation has been rampant as to why this happened, to how and why the switch flipped to Homicide in his brain. Not being a particularly religious man, his wife was becoming more interested in the church. Some say the Lutheran church where she was found was the church she wanted to join and he was very opposed to it. Others say there had been trouble at home and that night she told him she was leaving and he just snapped. His demeanor at work never indicated any change in his home life. Rumors abound that he was having an affair. All sorts of things swirling about this man I "knew".

The photo that was posted on the Internet news site of a man I "knew" was in an orange jumpsuit and a stare I cannot quite describe. It was not the look of someone full of regret, remorse, fear, or anger, but more like...like nothing. This may be what is described as the "1000-yard stare" I don't know. I cannot fathom the rage that it would take to put your hands around the neck of someone you loved and raised children with and violently squeeze the last breath out of her body. Knowing these people makes it intensely disconcerting. For if I "knew" him what do I truly know about many of the others around me?



Some days later my thoughts turned to prison life. How would he survive prison? What if this is a life sentence? Prison gangs. Shanks. The yard. The Huntsville, Texas federal prison is just like you would imagine it to be. How do you assimilate the fact that you are going there possibly for the rest of your life and you will be fresh meat walking in? Two weeks ago cutting grass and enjoying life, soon to be devolved as a human being. Oddly I feel very bad for him and know I will miss seeing him a couple times a week...at least for a while. This all will fade, as mercifully our brain does not keep these intense feelings on the front burner for long.

This is why I had to write this tonight. If I hadn't I'm afraid that I might never have done it and the whole thing would have faded to black as I know it will eventually.

And one future day, for no particular reason, I will ask someone..."Can you believe he actually did that?" And it will not then be shocking-to-the-core anymore. It will have faded to a matter-of-fact statement.

The fate of this man I "knew".

Today's Apocalypse Sign: X Marks The Spot Or Not

Xactly, what the hell do you do with X?? It is the third least common letter in the alphabet and is the first most irritating. I see X as a symbol really, not a word starter. X marks the spot, put an X in the box, designate exit routes with an X, XOXOXOX, etc. If these words below truly represent all the words in our language that start with X, I now care even less about it. I cannot even tell you the last time I have written a real word beginning with X. X is good for X-rated and XXX and Super Bowl numbering and not much else.

Can we all agree to boycott X and chop it from the dictionary for next year's challenge? Because quite frankly if you don't, you are going to see this same post again. X is dead to me.

Enjoy the following list of totally useless  X words...except for the one I find funny. Please tell me if anyone has ever actaully suffered from this. You'll know which one it is when you get there.

Word	Definition
xanthareel	yellow eel formerly used in medicinal foods
xanthic	yellow; yellowish
xanthippe	ill-tempered woman
xanthocarpous	having yellow fruit
xanthochroia	yellowness of the skin
xanthochroic	having yellow skin
xanthocomic	yellow-haired
xanthocyanopsy	form of colour-blindness in which only blue and yellow can be distinguished
xanthoderm	yellow-skinned person
xanthodont	one with yellow teeth
xanthoma	disease characterized by yellow patches on the skin
xanthometer	instrument for measuring colour of sea or lake water
xanthophyll	substance causing yellow colour of autumn leaves
xanthopsia	a visual condition where things appear yellow
xanthospermous	having yellow seeds
xanthous	yellow or red-haired
xebec	small three-masted pirate ship
xeme	fork-tailed gull
xenagogue	guide; someone who conducts strangers
xenial	of or concerning hospitality towards guests
xenium	gift made to a guest or ambassador; any compulsory gift
xenobiotic	indicating a substance or item foreign to the body
xenocracy	government by a body of foreigners
xenodiagnosis	diagnosis of disease by allowing laboratory-bred diseases to affect material
xenodocheionology	love of hotels
xenodochial	hospitable; kindly to strangers
xenodochium	building for the reception of strangers
xenogamy	cross-fertilization
xenogeneic	of a disease, derived from an individual of a different species
xenogenesis	generation of offspring entirely unlike the parent
xenogenous	due to an outside cause
xenoglossia	person's knowledge of a language never studied
xenolalia	person's knowledge of a language never studied
xenolith	fragment of extraneous rock embedded in magma or another rock
xenomancy	divination using strangers
xenomania	inordinate attachment to foreign things
xenomenia	menstruation from abnormal orifices
xenomorphic	having a form not its own
xenophilia	love of foreigners
xenophobia	fear of foreigners
xenops	a small tropical rainforest bird
xenurine	species of armadillo
xeransis	drying up
xerarch	growing in dry places
xerasia	abnormal dryness of the hair
xeric	dry; lacking in moisture
xerocopy	photocopy
xerodermia	abnormal dryness of the skin
xerography	photocopying
xerophagy	eating of dry food; fast of dry food in the week preceding Easter
xerophily	adaptation to very dry conditions
xerophobous	unable to survive drought
xerophthalmia	dryness and soreness of the eyes
xerophytic	able to withstand drought
xeroradiography	process for taking permanent pictures of X-ray images
xerosis	abnormal dryness of body parts
xerostomia	excessive dryness of the mouth
xerothermic	dry and hot
xerotic	dry
xerotripsis	dry friction
xesturgy	process of polishing
xilinous	of, like or pertaining to cotton
xiphias	swordfish
xiphoid	sword-shaped
xiphopagus	conjoined twins joined by a band of flesh on the torso
xiphophyllous	having sword-shaped leaves
xiphosuran	horseshoe crab
xoanon	primitive wooden statue overlaid with ivory and gold
xography	photographic process for producing three-dimensional images
xu	former monetary unit of Vietnam
xylan	gelatinous compound found in wood
xylary	of, like or pertaining to xylem
xylem	woody portion of a plant
xylocarp	hard and woody fruit
xylogenous	growing on wood
xyloglyphy	wood-carving
xylography	art of engraving on wood
xyloid	woody; ligneous
xylology	study of wood
xylomancy	divination by examining wood found in one's path
xylometer	instrument measuring specific gravity of wood
xylophagous	wood-eating
xylophilous	fond of wood; living in or on wood
xylophory	wood-carrying
xylopolist	one who sells wood
xylopyrography	engraving designs on wood with hot poker
xylorimba	combination of xylophone and marimba
xylotherapy	use of certain sorts of wood in treating disease
xylotomous	wood-cutting; wood-boring
xylotypographic	printed from wooden blocks
xystarch	ancient Greek officer in charge of gymnastic exercises
xyster	surgeon's instrument for scraping bones
xyston	short pike used by Greek heavy cavalry
xystus	covered walkway for exercises

Today's Apocalypse Sign: W Fell On Wednesday

What the hell is with this Wwweather! Oh yeah, the W is out! Maybe twice...Wacky Weather is more like it. Wait a minute...you all have TVs or iPads or iPhones or an old-fashioned computer so you know the current weather might just be leading up to the end of days. 2012 is next year ya know. I have another W for today.

Today's W for me is Wandering.<<<<<<<<<drag over with mouse

I have taken the time tonight (while writing tomorrows post) to wander though my comments that needed moderated (and respond to them at length) AND to wander about in a number of blogs to read and comment. I have visited old friend's blogs and jumped into some new ones. But I stopped and took the time to actually savor them.

This was not the normal speed reading and speed commenting and moving on...no, this was actually reading additional pre-Challenge posts, checking out the About Me tabs, clicking on some of the vaguely named header tabs just to explore and enjoy the depths of the entire site.

I checked out some sidebar items like I was stealing treats from a grocery store impulse item rack. Where did they get their word counter from? Where did some of the awards come from? Unwrapping each link like a present that had been waiting for me. I scrolled to the bottom of blogs to find out the designer or template name. Of course on Jesse's blog I had to check out the Blog Of The Day button...ooohhh, it was mine?  Thanks dude.

Today was my day to wander about the blogosphere at a leisurely pace and get inspired. I did not try to read 20 or 30 blogs for the sake of saying to myself, " I read them". I wanted to acknowledge (maybe unrequitedly*) that the authors efforts in presenting his or her work to the vast Internet was worth my time to appreciate. Some did not get a comment. Most did.

At least for me, this challenge has been at breakneck speed up until now. Self-imposed I might add. Something like this:

Hurry up get home take dogs out feed dogs figure out tomorrows post sit down at computer and begin draft of post break up fighting dogs take picture of fighting dogs finally realize I have not eaten dinner but have to finsh post before the wife gets home and wants her computer time maybe read a couple blogs and not take time to comment random thought comes into brain have to check that out on google get sidetracked finally eat something while wife gets done on computer watch 45 minute show (courtesy of the DVR) together go to bed get up and do it again...

I feel good that I have managed to post the correct letter on the correct day for each day of the challenge. I have mixed emotions about the end though, seeing that we are down to only 3 more letters after today. This A-Z Challenge has been the driving force in making me post daily. Maybe that is why I did not have a weeks worth of pre-posts done. Maybe I needed that deadline of the last minute inspiration to make this worthwhile. Do I risk taking a well deserved break for a few days and just wind down. This has become a soul-searching event, in blogging terms.

Where the hell do I go next? The horror...

No worries, I'm not going all Col. Kurtz on you.

Today's Apocalypse Sign: The After Easter V Post

Okay, another piece of the puzzle that is my personal history...today V is for Vermilion, not the color...the city!

I speak of course about Vermilion, OH. The final stop on the 3rd phase of my youth. (Phase I is birth to 7years, Phase II is 8 to 14, and Phase III is 15 to 21.) This is, of course, quite arbitrary and made up. But it works for me.

Anyway, Vermilion, OH is located on the southern shore of the Great Lake Erie about halfway across the north coast of Ohio. Click on the preceding link and then click on the Guide tab to see and learn more about Vermilion. It's worth a few minutes.

I spent roughly 8 years in Vermilion. A couple of years after my dad passed away my mom decided to move a two hours north so we could be nearer the rest of our family that lived in Vermilion. This move from Canton, OH to Vermilion was during my junior year in high school so you can imagine all the selfish teenage feelings of rebellion and anger at having to leave all my friends and move to a new city. Trying to make new friends with students who have had their OWN friends since grade school, well... just sucks. With only a year and a half left of high school it was not what this 16 year old was looking forward to. I did miserable in class for the next grading period after the move. I am now ashamed at being that self-center when my mother was going through the worst tragedy imaginable and raising 4 kids alone. I can never make it up to her.

Graduating in '74 and moving out on my own was exhilarating and probably stupid. The next few years involved working, drinking (18 was the legal age for "3.2 beer"), living where I could eat and drink, almost making bad decisions with young girls, and escaping legal hassles by the hair of my chin! I used all nine lives and then some in this sleepy town of 12,000 (now down to 10,000).

I now go back every Christmas that I can, to see my mother, sisters, and cousins who still live there. I made two trips back there this past winter...one for the holiday and one 3 weeks later for my uncle's funeral. Bad move not going to see him when I was there for Christmas. At least I can remember him as he was 2 years earlier when I last saw him.

The town brings back lots of memories (obvs) but I will say that anyone who is planning a vacation to the Midwest couldn't go wrong in spending some peace and quite time in this quaint town and the surrounding area. And if you go at the right time (see Events tab on the Vermilion link) you might even see this:

Pirate Fest

So Vermilion, OH named after the red clay that is much of the earth in this area is my V for the day.

Here are a few of my pictures from Christmas...
                                               
                                                                    Click to enlarge 'em

Grandma's old house - it is huge!

The Lagoons...high dollar living right on the water

Self Explanatory

Winter shot of a similar photo in the Guide tab of the Vermilion link

Today's Apocalypse Sign : The Final Week Begins With U

Today U could be for so many things. I am choosing to make it about me. Ironic, huh...U for me? U is for unveiling. On many levels.

Unveiling #1

I have started the task of revamping my blog look. We had some imposing storms last night so I went outside just after sunset to take some photos of the sky. I am playing around with this one for a new header:

                                         Click to enlarge

It's rough yet but I am working on it. I need to clean up both side bars and install a new template. I have procrastinated on this for about 8 months at least. It is time to look like I have been blogging for over a year...and somewhat know what I'm doing on the construction side.

Which reminds me...

Unveiling #2

I past my one year blogging anniversary back on January 16th of this year. I guess that is a milestone of some kind, at least is shows sticktoitivness. I imagine many people grow tired of managing and posting and commenting and then just give up. So I should feel good for having made it this far. I have virtually met some great people with some amazing talent.

**Pat Tillett shines photographically and literarily. He has been a follower for over a year now. I am sure he will put a book together that will be a fascinating read.

**Alex J Cavanaugh has an amazing blog, a loyal following, and he is a tremendous, published writer. I can't thank him enough for what he has done for me during this challenge. Thanks again Alex!

**Jesse Cohen started a whole new business style with his well-conceived Bloggerdise.com website.

**Lucy Corrander takes and posts photos of things most people would never see a picture in.  And how she verbally blushes at my Jennifer Aniston sidebar pictures.

**Allie Brosh has been a pleasure to watch as her blog has evolved and grown bigger than I'm sure she ever dreamed. Her talent is beyond words. And her following is beyond the scope of Blogger!

All these people and many, many more have inspired me to continue to try and define my place in the blogging universe (another u-word). Many of them have led me to other great blogs where even more lay waiting to be explored. I took the blue pill and drank them all in. Learning and absorbing from each. And during this last year, at least 791 people found it interesting enough here to read my rather lame profile. So there's that.

Unveiling #3

I am realistic enough to realize I fall woefully short in the comments department. I am not necessarily jealous of those who garner large numbers of comments, but I rather like the feedback and opinions that come out of comments that allow me that brief interaction with my fellow man (used generically, ladies). This is why I have adopted the style of responding to each comment, but do I know whether my comment back ever is read? (The tree falling in the forest thing, I suppose)

I do not yet fully grasp what it takes to consistently write comment-worthy posts. Is it the outrageous? Is it the polarizing topics of the day? Is it humor? Is it real life events? Is it all that and more?

Today I sit here having just crested 6000 hits for this blog. Will be at 250 posts by the end of the challenge. I am temptingly close to 100 followers.  Hope many of those still read even if they don't take the time to comment.

Finally for U, I feel United in a common bond with all my fellow bloggers. It is the need to express, or to divulge, or to explore new territory that brings us all to the keyboard each day to share something with the rest of the blogosphere. To make that one tiny footprint among the millions of pages scattered across the Internet and hope that someone sees it before it is washed under by the millions of footprints that come next.

Hats off to you, my friends!

Chuck

Today's Apocalypse Sign: Down To The Home Stretch And The Graphs To Prove It

We are now in the final days of the A-Z Challenge. I appreciate all of you who have stopped by for a looksee. Did anyone think this month would be this hard or is it just me? I have enjoyed the fact that the Challenge has kept me focused and disciplined daily.

Enough of the serious stuff...time for the last Weekend Graphs of the challenge!

Enjoy, my new friends...



see more Funny Graphs


see more Funny Graphs


see more Funny Graphs


see more Funny Graphs


see more Funny Graphs

Today's Apocalypse Sign: T Ends Week Three

Wow..the irony, as you will read below the letter T is one the most commonly use letters in the alphabet, yet I could not settle on a proper T post. Very strange. For the first time in this challenge I am going to make it a lazy man's educational and trivial knowledge enhancing post. The following information is directly from the yourdictionary.com site. Give them a visit to broaden your knowledge of the English language.

The single most commonly used word in the English language begins with the letter T. See if you can guess what it is before I tell you below. There are plenty of tremendous T words that it could be. Time is a T word that refers to our most precious asset: you can never get time back once lost. Tigger is a terrific character from Winnie the Pooh, and Mr. T was a famous character on an eighties TV show. Telephone, television, and trans-atlantic airplane flights were some of the greatest inventions of all time, while tremors and terror are some less tremendous T words. We need the letter T to tell tall tales or talk to teachers or take a time out. All things considered, the world without T words would be a terrible place to be!

Things You May Not Know About T

• T is the twentieth (another T word!) letter in the English alphabet and the sixteenth consonant
• T is pronounced the same as a drink, called tea
• T is the second most commonly used letter in the English language
• T may have represented a cross in early Hebrew and Semantic alphabets
• T is one of the letters given to contestants in the game show Wheel of Fortune (R, S, T, L, N and E)
• There are six T tiles in the English game of scrabble. Each of the T tiles is worth one point.

Words that Begin With T

The single most commonly used word in the English language begins with the letter T. T also has 13 words on the list of the 100 most commonly used words in the English language. This is more than any other letter. The top 100 words on the list make up approximately 1/3 of all of the printed words in all material written in English. That's top-notch for the terrific T!

1. The (#1)
2. To (#5)
3. That (#9)
4. They (#19)
5. This (#23)
6. There (#41)
7. Their (#49)
8. Then (#57)
9. Them (#58)
10. These (#59)
11. Time (#68)
12. Two (#71)
13. Than (#82)

-------------------------------------------------

So to wrap up this terrible T post I can only say...Thank God ITs Friday! (Yes I know you're reading this on Saturday but I am writing it on Friday, duh!)

**No T's were harmed in this lame-ass post. Swear.

Today's Apocalypse Sign: S Is For Scuba Diving

Today's S word is Scuba Diving. For the uninitiated, SCUBA is actually an acronym that stands for Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus. In other words you become a fish...sort of. In as much as you can stay underwater for long periods of time, wear flippers on your feet, and breath air. I am not a scuba diver...I post this subject for the A-Z challenge to honor a large part of my wife's life. She is Aquawoman!

For many people who would love to become a diver, on of the hardest things to get past is the simple act of taking a breath while submerged. This basic step in the diving process goes against all inborn human instinct. The reflex that instantly makes you hold your breath when under water is the first hurdle to overcome in order to actually dive. I remember the first time I snorkeled it was the strangest feeling to just stick my face in the water and inhale. Remember, the last time we were submerged your "scuba" was the umbilical cord!

My wife is the diver, I am not. She is certified to teach many different diving skills. In fact this weekend she is camping out with two of her diving girlfriends and about twelve students she is teaching. Courses such as Underwater Navigation, Stress and Rescue, and Limited Visibility are ones she will teach the class.

The one common bond she and I share between the diving world and the so called "topside" world is the love of photography. She has probably taken over 3000 photographs and videos while diving. She is amazingly good for the "on the fly" learning she has done and considering how difficult underwater photography is just by its nature. Thankfully the digital age allows her to shoot tons of shots and cull out the best. Some samples of her work are below. I know she will only get better!

 

 

Click to enlarge



If any of you are coming to spend some time in Dallas and are interested in learning how to dive she is a really great teacher...and if you say you know me you might get a discount!

45 days til Fiji!

Today's Apocalypse Sign: R You Ready?

To Rock, that is! Today's letter R is for Rush. The band not the frat action.

Rush is a timeless band. You never really know that when you first listen/watch/experience something. It's only after some amount of time has gone by that you can say that...or not, if that is how it turns out. In the case of Rush, I think they qualify as a timeless trio in their musical and artistic ways.

The band is still in action. They have been in action for 37 years. The more than 40 million albums they have sold along with the 24 gold and 14 platinum albums should have placed them in the Rock N' Roll Hall Of Fame years ago. Not so. Snubbed every year. Ironically, Rush gained a lot of their success for their debut Album by the airplay it received on a Cleveland radio station (the one and only WMMS, Home of the Buzzard!). This is where I heard them first (living not far from Cleveland at the time). After that Mercury Records signed them and the rest is history.

I first heard Rush in 1974 when they released their debut album. I wore the grooves of Working Man through to the turntable platter. Curiously, as a side note, I was also into Mahogany Rush at the same time and at first thought that Rush was just a shortened way to refer to that group. Clearly not, one is still playing and the other...???

My first concert I ever attended was a Rush headlined show. This tour followed the release of the 2112 album. Of course being my first concert it was completely badass! To this day I still have the program from the show...do they even do that any more??? This album for me was spellbinding.  The 20:33, 7-part song 2112 was all I listened to for weeks. Through headphones and in the right mood this song would transport me to wherever my mind wanted to go. It was truly mystical.

Here is the video of the 1976 concert for 2112...2112 Overture part I and Part II

Here is a 1988 version...2112 Overture/Temples of Syrinx

To echo one of the comments on this video, "It was the best 20 minutes of my young life."

If you have never tasted Rush, I recommend you start at the beginning.

Now for a little fun...I dare you to tell me you can watch Geddy Lee in the 1988 video link and not immediately think of the gang-banger in the Warriors movie clinking those 3 Little Kings bottles together and screeching out, "Warriors...come out to playeeaa". Am I right?

Today's Apocalypse Sign: Oh No Not The Q Word!

To date the toughest word is the Q. Especially since it is required to be followed by a U. This is one of those "word rules" that is not very often broken and when it is, it gives one pause as to just the correct pronounciation. Out of all the words that begin with the letter Q there are only 34 that DO NOT obey the "followed by a U" rule. They are unpronuncible and stupid words. Most are variations on a base word. I mean "qwerty"??? It's just 6 letters in a row on a keyboard for chrissakes! It is not a word.

For example: qabalah and qabalahs, qadi and qadis, ganat and ganats...you get the idea. I challenge you to use any of them in a real sentence. So there are really only like 20 Q words not followed by a U. It is an impossible point of the alphabet where someone thought that would play a joke on all the other letters and words and make Q, well ...queerly weird.

Anyway, today's Q word for me is that old 70's stand by party favor...Quaalude! This word is fun to say. Fun to spell (anything with a double aa in it is okay with me, like aardvark and aardwolf). And as the main attraction...fun to party with!

The 70's were a time of not much money and certainly not much money for drinking. During that time the handy quaalude became the bridge between a couple beers and night of "feeling fine". Benefits: didn't need to drink a lot to get where you were going (saved money and peeing a lot), the ladies always loved them, and they were cheap!

Manufactured by the drug giants Rorer and Lemmon, the pills (methaqualone) came stamped with the popular 714. This lead to quaaludes being called "Lemmons" or "714's" among the youth of the day. Originally manufactured in 1951, its use peaked in the late sixtys as a treatment for insomnia, a sedative and a muscle relaxant, it became one of the hypnotic drugs of choice on the party scene. Not to mention the fact that it was very inhibition reducing, so it was hard to go to a party in the the 70's and not be able to find a 'lude or two for the night.

Good times...what I remember of them. One of my favorite bands from that era was The Tubes. Lead Singer Fee Waybill named himself Quay Lude. Here is a little ditty I listen to til this day. Enjoy

What Do You Want From Life

Here ends my Quixoctic post for the day.

(Note: I prefer the etymological mis-pronunciation "kee-hoe-tic.")



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BTW...there is a new post on Hyperbole and A Half...first one in a month and 304 comments in the first two hours! Go Check it...



Today's Apocalypse Sign: The P To Make You Go Whee!!!

I resisted on the G letter but now I have to take this last opportunity this month to Get it out...Today's letter P is for the Packers, of Green Bay that is.

To borrow from the opening of the Jerk..."I was born a poor Packers child"

One warm June night back in the Eisenhower administration, out popped another "anointed at birth" Green Bay Packers fan. At a hospital (that may no longer exist) in the city of Green Bay, WI, this little miracle took place. When you are born in GB you become a Packers fan for life... just about the time of circumcision. I want to believe they wrapped me in a the green and gold before I was handed to my mother.

My father, like all good Wisconsin dads, got me interested in football at an early age. Though I only lived in Green Bay for a few very young years, I got a brief glimpse of the city known as TitleTown USA. My bucket list contains the one thing that has to be accomplished and that is a return to the city of my birth and more importantly to the hallowed grounds of Lambeau Field...a place I have never been.

The Packers have won more NFL titles than any other franchise (13). They along with Chicago are two of the oldest teams in football. Their stored history is spellbinding reading to me. I remember vividly watching the first two Super Bowls with my dad. They are still the highlight of my life. Sadly my father did not live long enough to see any more...even though it took 30 years before the next Super Bowl appearance (and victory) in 1996. The Packers are 4 and 1 in Super Bowls, which I believe is the best winning percentage among teams who have made at least 5 appearances.

What football fan my age doesn't remember the great Ice Bowl of 1967. Packers...Cowboys...-15 degrees...Lambeau Field forever earning the nickname, "Frozen Tundra". It gives me chills just typing this. That is how deep the Packer blood runs in my veins.

When there was recently a countdown of the top 100 NFL players of all time, there were at least 13 Packers on the list. More will be coming with the current crop of talent.

This is unique team. Founded in 1919, the Packers are the only non-profit, community-owned major league professional sports team in the United States. The population of Green Bay is 102,313. When the Packers are playing at home, there is no one AT home!. The streets are deserted. If they are not in the stands they are in the parking lot...up to 25,000 strong! Unless you have been willed tickets, you damn near cannot get into a game. While other stadiums empty out if a rout of the home team is occurring, Lambeau Field is full til the end...every game! Preseason games sell out. It is the true love of football that drives this city and team. Ask any player who is or has played for the Packers and they will all tell you it was/is a special experience.

If you are a football fan watch this video...

Aaron Rodgers, in my humble opinion, is the best quarterback in the game today.

Football is Green Bay, and Green Bay is football. Go Pack Go!

Today's Apocalypse Sign: O Is For Online Ordering

My newest and greatest habit gives us a double-dose of O's today...Online Ordering!

I confess, it took me longer than the average human to buy into the online way of life (shopping, bill paying, blogging, research, etc.). But now that I am there, I am full-throttle with it.

Online ordering has saved 3 Christmases, a couple birthday's, several Valentine's Days, and a whole host of other last-minute needs.

The Christmas rescues saved in more ways than one. Primarily there was no need to join the zombie-like masses at the mall, or Target, or heaven forbid...Walmart. My wife just decides what special "one gift fits all family members" thing we are going to do and we are off to the online shopping! For the last few Christmas holidays we have gone out of town to Ohio and this has paid off well. We usually start the quest the first week of December. The gift choice is decided on between the 10th and 15th of the month. We order online and have it shipped to my mother's house and it usually arrives a day or two before we do. Once we get there my wife unpackages the goodies, wraps them, sticks them under the tree and...Voila!  Christmas. Done. 

For some reason finding birthday gifts for my wife is easier online. I am sure it is because I can be much more narrow in my search scope versus going to a store where everything is RIGHT THERE begging to be purchased. And I haven't missed a birthday in years!

Valentine's Day would never happen if I had to go out and buy flowers, chocolates or whatever. I order online and have the flowers delivered to where she works and BAM! I'm a hero.

The best part is the semi-instant gratification you can get by buying something online. Impulse online buying is now a registered mental illness...I think. Some people just can't help themselves. I can understand that.

You make a purchase and the excitement begins. You get a tracking number so you can watch every scanned receive as the item winds its way along a FedEx/UPS/USPS paved road to your door. When it arrives it feels like another birthday or Christmas day. You open the package and tear into the product. The euphoria lasts sometimes only a day or maybe a week. Then you need that enter-button fix all over again.

This link says there are two people in Dallas looking for a Compulsive Shopping Meetup Group. I'm not one of them.

I ordered three things last night so I must now go and track them...God I hope they get here early!

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Today's Apocalypse Sign: More Than Halfway Though...Time For The Graphs!

If you're feeling down

If you're feeling blue

Take a moment and scroll down

The Weekend Graphs

Are here for you!

see more Funny Graphs


see more Funny Graphs


see more Funny Graphs


see more Funny Graphs


see more Funny Graphs

Today’s Apocalypse Sign: N First Letter On The Downside Of The Challenge

The letter N today will have to be for my new Nikon D3100 DSLR camera! I have had it now for a little over a week and it is truly badass for the money!

Last Tuesday or Wednesday my package arrived what I figured was a couple days before I was expecting it. This to me is a lot like Christmas. I am unabashedly a material guy. I don't want a lot of things (lie) but the things I want I really want. When I order something online I am excited as a kid until it arrives.

Anyway, I digress. I open the package and there staring back at me was a sight that made my pulse race...
(if you want to commit to true dorkyness you can click AND ENLARGE)

I reverently pulled the box out from its air-bag cradle in the bigger box. Opened it slowly like it was Christmas morning. Slowly removed every box, book and, packet. Then quickly the battery was shoved in the charger and the charger plugged into the wall. The instructions said an hour and a half to fully charge, but I showed real adult restraint and let it charge for 3 hours. Believe me that was some restraint.

I spent the time reading the quick start guide and hitting the high points in the owners manual that I needed to initially take some shots once the battery was charged. The battery finished charging and the first shot is the one you see above. No fancy setting, just a plain vanilla auto-setting shot. I was immediately blown away by the smooth operation, the sound of the shutter, and the (dare I say) stunning detail of the shot! No comparision to all my point and shoots!

I then had to shoot the dogs, well one dog (Caesar was hiding somewhere). Here is Cornelia.

Click to enlarge this shot. I swear when I zoom in while viewing in Picasa I can see her brain through her left eye! The detail is amazing. The new header for this blog is a tweaked sunset shot from a couple nights ago. All the outdoor shots have been fantastic looking.

Okay, I'll stop rambling on like a little kid...but damn this shit keeps me young!

I am stoked even more now for the Fiji trip. I may need to buy a couple more memory cards! Oh yeah, and this baby takes full HD 1080p video with a mini-HDMI port and cable (cable not included).

Now if I can just figure out how to turn the video function on...


I also want to double-dip in the N pool today and turn you on to a fellow blogger who with her husband (The Holbs) and baby (Huck) writes one of the best and funniest daily life experiences blogs around. Please take a tour of Nat The Fat Rat, she is gold. 

Today’s Apocalypse Sign: M Can Only Be For Monkeys!

Today, the letter M can only really be for one thing...Monkeys! Those fun-loving, free-swinging, caca-throwing imps of the jungle and comedy. If you are having a bad day, anything to do with monkeys will make it better. Even David Letterman has a oft-quoted schtick about monkeys, where he states, " I wouldn't give my/his/her troubles to a monkey on a rock!". The band and the audience participate and it is great fun while never failing to make me chuckle. Monkeys are just THAT much fun.

My wife and I even have a stuffed monkey (aka Travel Monkey) that we take with us on vacation. He usually steals the show and is a great conversation starter.

I did a post about this monkey a year or so ago. Tell me that you didn't break into a little grin (like I did) when you read the line, "What we're really doing is turning him into a drug addict".

This monkey story is just as funny. Pray tell what species of monkey IS native to San Antonio, TX??? I ask you!

Finally, why couldn't a monkey be a service animal? 'Cause the judge said so!

Okay, one more, just in case you didn't believe humans and monkeys are closely related...this test seals it!

It seems if one were going for the fun and merriment of the above articles, the macaque monkey is the way to go. And here I always thought that capuchin monkeys were the bomb!

You can go finger monkey:

Macaque monkey:

Sock Monkey:

How to make a sock monkey:

Jabba The Monkey:

Or even 12 Monkeys:

But beware of the gorilla, they don't take shit from anyone:

Until tomorrow...let a little monkey fun into your life.

Today’s Apocalypse Sign: What The L Is This?

Today's letter L is for lyrics. As in some of my favorite song lyrics. Feel free to list some of your own in a comment. Sorry for the length of the post but feel free to come back to it. Here we go:

1.  Nirvana - Polly
     Lyric: "Polly wants a cracker...think I should get off her first."
     One of the greatest sexual innuendo lyrics of all time.




2. Metallica - Master of Puppets
    Lyric: "Needlework the way, never you betray

              Life of death becoming clearer
              Pain monopoly, ritual misery
              Chop your breakfast on a mirror"
    Greatest drug addiction summation in one chorus



3. The Beatles - I Am The Walrus
    Lyric: "Yellow matter custard...dripping from a dead dog's eye".
    Could be the grossest visual lyric ever



4. The Doors - Back Door Man
    Lyric: "You men eat your dinner

             Eat your pork and beans
             I eat more chicken
            Than any man ever seen, yeah, yeah"
    Jim Morisson was a really great poet and this lyric of veiled oral sex is gold! Just listen to it.




5.  Led Zeppelin - The Lemon Song
     Lyric: "Squeeze me baby, till the juice runs down my leg.

               The way you squeeze my lemon, I'm gonna fall right out of bed.
               I'm gonna leave my children down on this killing floor."
     I will not even bother trying to describe this lyric, you can figure it out on your own.



6.  Pink Floyd - Pigs (Three Different Ones)
     Lyric: "You like the feel of steel

              You're hot stuff with a hat pin
              And good fun with a hand gun"
     One of my all time favorite Pink Floyd songs and I love the lyrics!



7. Rolling Stones - Sympathy For The Devil
    Lyric: "I rode a tank
               Held a General's rank
              When the Blitzkrieg raged
              And the bodies stank"
   A four line summation of WWII in arguably the Stones greatest song.



8. Bob Seger - Turn The page
Lyric: "Out there in the spotlight
          You're a million miles away
         Every ounce of energy
         You try to give away
         As the sweat pours out your body
         Like the music that you play"
Life on the road as a musician is soulfully rendered by Mr Seger in the great song.



9. J. Geils Band - No Anchovies Please
    Lyric: All of it!!
You just have to watch.



10. Green Day - Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)
      Lyric: "Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
                Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
                So make the best of this test, and don't ask why
                It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time"
     This song in an anthem for all mankind. And it's kinda catchy!