This marks the 354th post this here ol' blog. Wasn't paying attention and the 350 milestone passed me right by. Seems amazing to me to have posted this much but in retrospect it could have been way more and easily 400 by now. I have been a slacker for the last few months.
2011 seemed to have gone by so fast. I guess years tend to do that when you are older and praying for time to slow down just a little bit. I remember it seeming to take forever to reach 21 just so I could drink the hard stuff! Ironically then some time went by unknown to me because of the hard stuff...isn't life funny that way.
Anyway, the year is hours from being over and a new shiny 2012 will be here. The final year of the Mayan calendar. This will be the theme of many upcoming posts and the cornerstone subject of April's A-Z Challenge 2012. I have already started collecting subject matter and will probably draft some posts when I am on vacation in a couple weeks. This is going to be another fun challenge!
I have enjoyed reading so many blogs this year. I look forward to picking up a few new ones this coming year. It's gets tougher to decide...read more and comment on fewer? Read less and comment more? My days vary on those decisions but I say to many of you, I read a lot even if you don't always see a comment from me. I bow down to those who juggle this better than I. Much like Pat Tillett I get easily distracted and it doesn't always take something shiny...just an odd thought entering my brain drives me to open a new tab and search for 30 minutes. See, I went off track there for a minute.
I want to take this opportunity to thank those who have continued to drop by and visit and maybe even leave an opinion from time to time...I appreciate you.
Rambling is over...stay safe tonight and in the coming days...
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Today's Apocalypse Sign: Christmas Day Graphs
It's few and far between when Christmas and Sunday fall on the same day. But today is that day. So for one more present in this season of excess, I present the Christmas Day graphs just for you!
PS. They have nothing to do wth Christmas so enjoy them in (or with) any spirit you desire.
Merry Christmas (and next week you get New Years Day graphs)...this IS a season to remember. I must now take a nap and rest up for the Packers game tonight!

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BONUS CHRISTMAS GRAPH!!

And to all a good night...
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PS. They have nothing to do wth Christmas so enjoy them in (or with) any spirit you desire.
Merry Christmas (and next week you get New Years Day graphs)...this IS a season to remember. I must now take a nap and rest up for the Packers game tonight!
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BONUS CHRISTMAS GRAPH!!
And to all a good night...
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Friday, December 23, 2011
Today's Apocalypse Sign: In Which I Am An Owner
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| I always wanted to redact something!!! |
Today I received a great Christmas present...my Green Bay Packers stock certificate! I am now an owner of an NFL franchise. This is amazingly cool. Included with the certificate was a small booklet with all sorts of "what it means to be involved with the Green Bay Packers" stuff in it. There was also a letter from the CEO and President of the Packers, Mark Murphy, that ended with the invitation to attend the shareholders dinner next July at Lambeau. I may sleep with ALL this stuff tonight.
And two days ago my wife gave me a commemorative Super Bowl ring from XLV...inscribed with my initials and everything! Best reason not to grow old is to have fun kid-like moments like these. I can't wait for the game Christmas night at Lambeau. If only I could be there...let's not ask for too much.
Oh and the best part (at least since I live in Dallas) last night on the news it was announced that the Packers had supplanted the Dallas Cowboys as America's team...how great is that.
AND to top it all off Aaron Rodgers was named the AP male athlete of the year.
Wow! I'm tired now so I need to go eat...
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all who dwell here from time to time.
GO PACK GO !!!
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Today's Apocalypse Sign: A Shout Out To A Friend...And A Giveaway!
I was over at my friend Alex J Cavanaugh's fine blog and saw he was having a book giveaway. In addition to wanting another copy, I wanted to help spread the word (in the spirit of the season) on the essence of his first book and promotion of his newest book and sequel to ---- CassaStar.
CassaFire will be released Feb 28th and I am super stoked that this sequel will be here soon. I am convinced and have told Alex on numerous occasions that CassaStar absolutely should be made into a movie. George Lucas where are you???
Anyway, read the teaser below and click the link above to hop over to Alex's site and pay him a visit. Warning: if you go you will be sucked into the Ninja Army and ya know that's forever, right? Following him is a good thing. Go anyway.
Pass the word and get your chance to win a copy of one of the best scifi books I have read in a while. You will not be disappointed. Now go...wait, read this first>>>>>
From Alex hisself, the following:
CassaStar
To pilot the fleet’s finest ship…
Few options remain for Byron, a talented young man with a troubled past and rebellious attitude. Slated to train as a Cosbolt pilot, Byron is determined to prove his worth and begin a new life. Much to his chagrin, Bassa, the toughest instructor in the fleet, takes notice of the young pilot. As war brews on the edge of space, Byron requires a navigator of exceptional quality to survive. Bassa must make a decision that could well decide the fate of both men. Will their skills be enough as they embark on a mission that may stretch their abilities to the limit?
“…calls to mind the youthful focus of Robert Heinlein’s early military sf, as well as the excitement of space opera epitomized by the many Star Wars novels. Fast-paced military action and a youthful protagonist make this a good choice for both young adult and adult fans of space wars.” - Library Journal
Available in all eBook forms and at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Amazon UK.
If sucked into CassaStar… I’d be Byron. (I mean really, who else who I be?) If made into a movie, Byron would be played by Chris Pine.
The Giveaway- (Because I’m not telling you all of this for nothing!)
Copy of CassaStar
Review copy of CassaFire, due out February 28, 2011 – see five star review on Fantasy Nibbles!
Bookmarks, postcards, and stuff, courtesy of my publisher
To enter-
Leave a comment - must be a followers
Tweet this giveaway for a second entry (hashtag #CASSA)
Blog about this giveway for another entry (please let me know if you do!)
Open through December 31, 2011 – Winner announced on January 4, 2012
Even if you have a copy, it would make an awesome gift. (Or doorstop, although it’s not that big.)
CassaFire will be released Feb 28th and I am super stoked that this sequel will be here soon. I am convinced and have told Alex on numerous occasions that CassaStar absolutely should be made into a movie. George Lucas where are you???
Anyway, read the teaser below and click the link above to hop over to Alex's site and pay him a visit. Warning: if you go you will be sucked into the Ninja Army and ya know that's forever, right? Following him is a good thing. Go anyway.
Pass the word and get your chance to win a copy of one of the best scifi books I have read in a while. You will not be disappointed. Now go...wait, read this first>>>>>
From Alex hisself, the following:
CassaStar
To pilot the fleet’s finest ship…
Few options remain for Byron, a talented young man with a troubled past and rebellious attitude. Slated to train as a Cosbolt pilot, Byron is determined to prove his worth and begin a new life. Much to his chagrin, Bassa, the toughest instructor in the fleet, takes notice of the young pilot. As war brews on the edge of space, Byron requires a navigator of exceptional quality to survive. Bassa must make a decision that could well decide the fate of both men. Will their skills be enough as they embark on a mission that may stretch their abilities to the limit?
“…calls to mind the youthful focus of Robert Heinlein’s early military sf, as well as the excitement of space opera epitomized by the many Star Wars novels. Fast-paced military action and a youthful protagonist make this a good choice for both young adult and adult fans of space wars.” - Library Journal
Available in all eBook forms and at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Amazon UK.
If sucked into CassaStar… I’d be Byron. (I mean really, who else who I be?) If made into a movie, Byron would be played by Chris Pine.
The Giveaway- (Because I’m not telling you all of this for nothing!)
Copy of CassaStar
Review copy of CassaFire, due out February 28, 2011 – see five star review on Fantasy Nibbles!
Bookmarks, postcards, and stuff, courtesy of my publisher
To enter-
Leave a comment - must be a followers
Tweet this giveaway for a second entry (hashtag #CASSA)
Blog about this giveway for another entry (please let me know if you do!)
Open through December 31, 2011 – Winner announced on January 4, 2012
Even if you have a copy, it would make an awesome gift. (Or doorstop, although it’s not that big.)
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Today's Apocalypse Sign: The Weekend Graphs
Sorry, not feeling the mood today. My beloved Packers took it on the chin today by choosing to play the Chiefs like they had never seen a football before. It is the game you never want to have as a team on a roll. It is the game you never want to have when an undefeated season AND setting the record winning streak are within your grasp. In other words...they SUCKED bigtime today. No excuse.
Anyway, here is something to brighten your day wherever you are (except Kansas City)...
Enjoy!

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Pat and Robyn, this is for you!

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And to all a good night!
Anyway, here is something to brighten your day wherever you are (except Kansas City)...
Enjoy!
see more Funny Graphs
Pat and Robyn, this is for you!
see more Funny Graphs
see more Funny Graphs
see more Funny Graphs
see more Funny Graphs
And to all a good night!
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Today's Apocalypse Sign: Weekend Graphs To Delight And Amuse
Here are this weeks graphs and such. I think this is a delightful mix to entertain even the catatonic. Please enjoy!

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You may go back to drooling now....
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see more Funny Graphs
see more Funny Graphs
You may go back to drooling now....
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Today's Apocalypse Sign: The Times Have Changed
Remembering those who helped keep us free.
Today is Pearl Harbor day. Many of you, like me, had fathers or family members who fought in WWII. My father served on a PT boat in the Phillipines the same time Kennedy was being a hero. Not sure if he ever knew him. We never really got to talk about that. He died when I was 14 in 1970. During the War To End All Wars there were no videos and or music written that I know of condemning the largest ever expanse of armed forces fighting over multiple battlefields.
Then the Vietnam War came with all its controversy and clashed with the hippie movement that created much tension at home. I lived not far from Kent State University in Ohio when the National Guard clashed with the protesting student body in 1970 and 4 Dead In Ohio was written by Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young.
The images in this clip immediately took me back to that day. It was pretty scary stuff at the time.
Here is one of the songs I remember from my youth in the 60's. It was all over the radio.
Edwin Starr - WAR (apologies in advance for the 1969 quality video)
I was big into the Airplane and this was their anti-war song for the 60's. Make sure and watch montage of images that will bring back some memories.
Jefferson Airplane - Volunteers OF America
Today we have the Iraq/Afghanistan war and this jewel from System Of A Down. This is strong music and the lyrics are included as Serj is a little hysterical at times. But it is today's anti-war song. This video also proves that Meytal Cohen is just a kick-ass drummer.
Lyrics To BYOB by System Of A Down
Why do they always send the poor?
Barbarisms by Barbara with pointed heels
Victorious victories kneel for brand new spanking deals
Marching forward hypocritic and hypnotic computers
You depend on our protection yet you feed us lies from the tablecloth
Everybody's going to the party, have a real good time
Dancing in the desert blowing up the sunshine
Kneeling roses disappearing into Moses' dry mouth
Breaking into Fort Knox stealing our intentions
Hangars sitting dripped in oil, crying, "Freedom!"
Handed to obsolation still you feed us lies from the tablecloth
Everybody's going to the party, have a real good time
Dancing in the desert blowing up the sunshine
Everybody's going to the party, have a real good time
Dancing in the desert blowing up the sunshine
Blast off, it's party time
And we don't live in a fascist nation
Blast off, it's party time
And where the fuck are you?
Where the fuck are you?
Where the fuck are you?
Why don't presidents fight the war?
Why do they always send the poor?
Why don't presidents fight the war?
Why do they always send the poor?
Why do they always send the poor?
Why do they always send the poor?
Why do they always send the poor?
Kneeling roses disappearing into Moses' dry mouth
Breaking into Fort Knox stealing our intentions
Hangars sitting dripped in oil, crying, "Freedom!"
Handed to obsolation still you feed us lies from the tablecloth
Everybody's going to the party, have a real good time
Dancing in the desert blowing up the sunshine
Everybody's going to the party, have a real good time
Dancing in the desert blowing up the sun
Where the fuck are you?
Where the fuck are you?
Why don't presidents fight the war?
Why do they always send the poor?
Why don't presidents fight the war?
Why do they always send the poor?
Why do they always send the poor?
Why do they always send the poor?
Why do they always send the poor?
Why do they always send the poor?
Why do they always send the poor?
They always send the poor
They always send the poor
God Bless America and the freedoms we have.
Today is Pearl Harbor day. Many of you, like me, had fathers or family members who fought in WWII. My father served on a PT boat in the Phillipines the same time Kennedy was being a hero. Not sure if he ever knew him. We never really got to talk about that. He died when I was 14 in 1970. During the War To End All Wars there were no videos and or music written that I know of condemning the largest ever expanse of armed forces fighting over multiple battlefields.
Then the Vietnam War came with all its controversy and clashed with the hippie movement that created much tension at home. I lived not far from Kent State University in Ohio when the National Guard clashed with the protesting student body in 1970 and 4 Dead In Ohio was written by Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young.
The images in this clip immediately took me back to that day. It was pretty scary stuff at the time.
Here is one of the songs I remember from my youth in the 60's. It was all over the radio.
Edwin Starr - WAR (apologies in advance for the 1969 quality video)
I was big into the Airplane and this was their anti-war song for the 60's. Make sure and watch montage of images that will bring back some memories.
Jefferson Airplane - Volunteers OF America
Today we have the Iraq/Afghanistan war and this jewel from System Of A Down. This is strong music and the lyrics are included as Serj is a little hysterical at times. But it is today's anti-war song. This video also proves that Meytal Cohen is just a kick-ass drummer.
Lyrics To BYOB by System Of A Down
Why do they always send the poor?
Barbarisms by Barbara with pointed heels
Victorious victories kneel for brand new spanking deals
Marching forward hypocritic and hypnotic computers
You depend on our protection yet you feed us lies from the tablecloth
Everybody's going to the party, have a real good time
Dancing in the desert blowing up the sunshine
Kneeling roses disappearing into Moses' dry mouth
Breaking into Fort Knox stealing our intentions
Hangars sitting dripped in oil, crying, "Freedom!"
Handed to obsolation still you feed us lies from the tablecloth
Everybody's going to the party, have a real good time
Dancing in the desert blowing up the sunshine
Everybody's going to the party, have a real good time
Dancing in the desert blowing up the sunshine
Blast off, it's party time
And we don't live in a fascist nation
Blast off, it's party time
And where the fuck are you?
Where the fuck are you?
Where the fuck are you?
Why don't presidents fight the war?
Why do they always send the poor?
Why don't presidents fight the war?
Why do they always send the poor?
Why do they always send the poor?
Why do they always send the poor?
Why do they always send the poor?
Kneeling roses disappearing into Moses' dry mouth
Breaking into Fort Knox stealing our intentions
Hangars sitting dripped in oil, crying, "Freedom!"
Handed to obsolation still you feed us lies from the tablecloth
Everybody's going to the party, have a real good time
Dancing in the desert blowing up the sunshine
Everybody's going to the party, have a real good time
Dancing in the desert blowing up the sun
Where the fuck are you?
Where the fuck are you?
Why don't presidents fight the war?
Why do they always send the poor?
Why don't presidents fight the war?
Why do they always send the poor?
Why do they always send the poor?
Why do they always send the poor?
Why do they always send the poor?
Why do they always send the poor?
Why do they always send the poor?
They always send the poor
They always send the poor
God Bless America and the freedoms we have.
Monday, December 5, 2011
Today's Apocalypse Sign: Four Times In 100 Years
Disclaimer: To my UK readers, you will not give a rats ass about this post. But hey, what better time to educate yourself about American football! Right?
For only the fourth time in their existence (92 years) the NFC and Super Bowl Champion Green Bay Packers are Selling Team Stock. At 8 AM CST on Tuesday 12/6/11, 250,000 shares of Packer stock go on sale. The last stock sale was in 1997-98...and that was the first time since 1950 there had been a sale. So this is only the second time in my life this event has happened...and I didn't even know about the one in '97! Not big on the internet back then. I do not intend to miss this one!
You can buy up to 200 shares at $250 a share. You will be able to say you own a part of a pro football team, be linked to a storied franchise and winner of a league-leading 13 championships in their history, AND get a Shareholder Super Bowl Ring when Green bay repeats as SB champs this year!
Even if you are not a Packer's fan, if you are a pro football fan, you gotta love this opportunity. I plan to buy ONE share and frame it. Period. No other pro team will ever be represented like this. The Packers are the ONLY publicly owned team and that allows for a chance like this. So if you love the game here is your opportunity to get one-of-a-kind piece of memorabilia.
And if you are not a Lions, Bears, or Vikings fan maybe you can join me in rooting on the Pack for another Super Bowl victory season.
Go Pack Go!
For only the fourth time in their existence (92 years) the NFC and Super Bowl Champion Green Bay Packers are Selling Team Stock. At 8 AM CST on Tuesday 12/6/11, 250,000 shares of Packer stock go on sale. The last stock sale was in 1997-98...and that was the first time since 1950 there had been a sale. So this is only the second time in my life this event has happened...and I didn't even know about the one in '97! Not big on the internet back then. I do not intend to miss this one!
You can buy up to 200 shares at $250 a share. You will be able to say you own a part of a pro football team, be linked to a storied franchise and winner of a league-leading 13 championships in their history, AND get a Shareholder Super Bowl Ring when Green bay repeats as SB champs this year!
Even if you are not a Packer's fan, if you are a pro football fan, you gotta love this opportunity. I plan to buy ONE share and frame it. Period. No other pro team will ever be represented like this. The Packers are the ONLY publicly owned team and that allows for a chance like this. So if you love the game here is your opportunity to get one-of-a-kind piece of memorabilia.
And if you are not a Lions, Bears, or Vikings fan maybe you can join me in rooting on the Pack for another Super Bowl victory season.
Go Pack Go!
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Today's Apocalypse Sign: The Weekend Graphs!
Nothing fancy this week. No witty lead-in...no brilliant revelation...no smart-ass comments (what!)...and for sure, no relevant content. By this time next week we will be under 365 days on the Mayan calendar...plans must be made.
Instead enjoy these creations of your fellow man and thank God for opposable thumbs!
Enjoy!

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see more Funny Graphs

see more Funny Graphs
Instead enjoy these creations of your fellow man and thank God for opposable thumbs!
Enjoy!
see more Funny Graphs
see more Funny Graphs
see more Funny Graphs
see more Funny Graphs
see more Funny Graphs
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Today's Apocalypse Sign: Thanksgiving Weekend Graphs
Not necessarily having to DO with Thanksgiving (although the last one does) but it is the wrap-up to the first holiday weekend of the end of 2011. Sounds a little odd saying 2011 is already all but over. And if your not sure what 2012 will bring...take a look at the Mayan calendar on the right sidebar. It is edging ever closer to 365 days to go, one year. Anybody worried??
Fear not, the Weekend Graphs will keep you occupied right up til the end. So I present to you the Thanksgiving weekend graphs. I hope you and yours had a great holiday!
Enjoy!

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Fear not, the Weekend Graphs will keep you occupied right up til the end. So I present to you the Thanksgiving weekend graphs. I hope you and yours had a great holiday!
Enjoy!
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Saturday, November 26, 2011
Today's Apocalypse Sign: I Cooked The Best Thanksgiving Turkey Ever and Black Friday
Thanks to my friend over at the Rock N Roll Gourmet I made the best turkey a Thanksgiving in this here house has ever seen.
Add to this I made my famous candied yams, sprinkled in a few other standard side dishes, a dash of good friends, then to top it all off...a resounding gridiron victory by my unstoppable Packers and you have a day that could not have gotten any better. My wife and her girlfriends headed out to see the latest Twilight fiasco movie and my brother and I couch-potatoed all three football games (in between nibbling leftovers). It was all good.
BLACK FRIDAY
I totally am out on any Black Friday shopping at all. However since our DVD player finally refused to play movies any longer, a replacement was necessary. My wife wanted to get a Blu-Ray DVD player. Figuring there had to be some deals at the Fry's across the road, I made my game plan. Leaving (almost) nothing to chance, I decided there was no way I was going in blind to the electronics ring of hell that is Frys. No sane person would.
Since I was working yesterday I took the opportunity after lunch to checkout Fry's web site. I knew all the little ruses they would try on me (good deal but no in store pickup, etc.)...after 10 minutes I found a Blu-Ray player for $99 and available at the store across the street. I ordered it for in-store pick up and was instructed to not leave for the store yet until I had received a confirmation email that the item had indeed been available and was marked with my name for immediate pickup. Ten minutes later I got the email, so with 20 minutes elapsed completing my game plan, I headed out for the store telling my co-worker, "I'll be back in 30 minutes". She laughed so hard at this I thought she would choked on her turkey. Having no time to consider if I would be needed for the Heimlich, I left.
In the car and five minutes to Fry's I found a parking space on the side of the store no one ever comes in on. Out of the car and into the store I follow the directions on my email, "proceed directly to the audio/video podium where one of our friendly salesman will help you". Of course the store was buzzing like ants on a hot day. Walking apace to the back of the store where the audio/video section was, I handed my receipt and confirmation email to the clerk and said, "Gimme". Stage one complete.
He looked at the papers I handed him and because Fry's hires from the league of nations, he must have been confused by the term "Gimme" and handed all the papers to the other third-world employee there with him. After a short minute or two, the second person (nice young lady) handed the papers back to me and told me to proceed to register 17...at the front of the store. I said hold on, I don't want to stand in that long line (presumably) for something I had already paid for and just needed to pick up and fast-track my ass back home. She said no worry, just go to the front of the line (isn't that a form of attempted suicide on Black Friday) and go directly to register 17 for the will-call.
Off I go wondering if I need to pick up a weapon of some sort before I try line jumping. I bypass that thought and just walk straight up the line to the register director. I tell him I am to go to register 17 and pick up my online order. Clearly I was in command because even though some one was already at the register he said okay, go.
I get to register 17 and give the papers to the guy there. I see the will-call shelves behind him but even I can tell there is no box containing a Blu-Ray player on the shelf. I am girding myself for what I know is coming. He walks down 15 registers to the security cages apparently asking them if they have see my Blu-Ray player. Then he walks all the way back to me only to tell me its not up here. I stupidly knew this was coming and immediately spit out, "can you not call some one from the audio/video department and have them bring one up here (like they should have already done!!)". He replied, "no, you'll have to take these papers back to them and have them get it for you." Easier to get OUT of Iran without a visa or passport then get a freakin' Blu-Ray player today!.
I complete the circle and end up all the way back at the audio/video desk...again. Same guy/gal combo is there and now I am a little worn. I tell the gal theidiot guy at register 17 said there was no product up there and I needed to come back here to get it. I finished that sentence with, "I don't know why he couldn't have called back here and had one brought up front." To which she replied, "oh he could have". To which I replied, "that's what I thought!" Bastards!
She then takes matters into her own hands and goes to the shelf and gets my item. Telling me I need to take it back to...register17! Fuck ME!!!
Attempting to line-jump twice on Black Friday, especially with a product in hand this time, was sure to end ugly. I only needed one word to tip me over at this point. Fortunately the line was short and was moving quickly so I took my place and it wasn't two minutes later I am standing back at #17. Now the guy is ringing it up and telling me the price is $108.95. I said I already paid for it online. He says, "No, that's just to hold it." I'm thinking, How about I just hold your neck for a minute. I give him my card and ID, sign the ticket and I'm gone.
Back at work in less than thirty minutes (I tell you I was power walking through the store!). My co-worker could not believe I had completed the whole process in less than an hour.
I said it could have been 15 minutes less but whatever.
Do you have a Black Friday story??
| The hand-rubbed seasoned beginning (note the neck peeking out at the right) |
| And the final crispy treat (the neck is now on the left) |
BLACK FRIDAY
I totally am out on any Black Friday shopping at all. However since our DVD player finally refused to play movies any longer, a replacement was necessary. My wife wanted to get a Blu-Ray DVD player. Figuring there had to be some deals at the Fry's across the road, I made my game plan. Leaving (almost) nothing to chance, I decided there was no way I was going in blind to the electronics ring of hell that is Frys. No sane person would.
Since I was working yesterday I took the opportunity after lunch to checkout Fry's web site. I knew all the little ruses they would try on me (good deal but no in store pickup, etc.)...after 10 minutes I found a Blu-Ray player for $99 and available at the store across the street. I ordered it for in-store pick up and was instructed to not leave for the store yet until I had received a confirmation email that the item had indeed been available and was marked with my name for immediate pickup. Ten minutes later I got the email, so with 20 minutes elapsed completing my game plan, I headed out for the store telling my co-worker, "I'll be back in 30 minutes". She laughed so hard at this I thought she would choked on her turkey. Having no time to consider if I would be needed for the Heimlich, I left.
In the car and five minutes to Fry's I found a parking space on the side of the store no one ever comes in on. Out of the car and into the store I follow the directions on my email, "proceed directly to the audio/video podium where one of our friendly salesman will help you". Of course the store was buzzing like ants on a hot day. Walking apace to the back of the store where the audio/video section was, I handed my receipt and confirmation email to the clerk and said, "Gimme". Stage one complete.
He looked at the papers I handed him and because Fry's hires from the league of nations, he must have been confused by the term "Gimme" and handed all the papers to the other third-world employee there with him. After a short minute or two, the second person (nice young lady) handed the papers back to me and told me to proceed to register 17...at the front of the store. I said hold on, I don't want to stand in that long line (presumably) for something I had already paid for and just needed to pick up and fast-track my ass back home. She said no worry, just go to the front of the line (isn't that a form of attempted suicide on Black Friday) and go directly to register 17 for the will-call.
Off I go wondering if I need to pick up a weapon of some sort before I try line jumping. I bypass that thought and just walk straight up the line to the register director. I tell him I am to go to register 17 and pick up my online order. Clearly I was in command because even though some one was already at the register he said okay, go.
I get to register 17 and give the papers to the guy there. I see the will-call shelves behind him but even I can tell there is no box containing a Blu-Ray player on the shelf. I am girding myself for what I know is coming. He walks down 15 registers to the security cages apparently asking them if they have see my Blu-Ray player. Then he walks all the way back to me only to tell me its not up here. I stupidly knew this was coming and immediately spit out, "can you not call some one from the audio/video department and have them bring one up here (like they should have already done!!)". He replied, "no, you'll have to take these papers back to them and have them get it for you." Easier to get OUT of Iran without a visa or passport then get a freakin' Blu-Ray player today!.
I complete the circle and end up all the way back at the audio/video desk...again. Same guy/gal combo is there and now I am a little worn. I tell the gal the
She then takes matters into her own hands and goes to the shelf and gets my item. Telling me I need to take it back to...register17! Fuck ME!!!
Attempting to line-jump twice on Black Friday, especially with a product in hand this time, was sure to end ugly. I only needed one word to tip me over at this point. Fortunately the line was short and was moving quickly so I took my place and it wasn't two minutes later I am standing back at #17. Now the guy is ringing it up and telling me the price is $108.95. I said I already paid for it online. He says, "No, that's just to hold it." I'm thinking, How about I just hold your neck for a minute. I give him my card and ID, sign the ticket and I'm gone.
Back at work in less than thirty minutes (I tell you I was power walking through the store!). My co-worker could not believe I had completed the whole process in less than an hour.
I said it could have been 15 minutes less but whatever.
Do you have a Black Friday story??
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Today's Apocalypse Sign: Maybe Hitchcock Had It Right
BIRDS ON A WIRE
I stopped wearing a watch some time ago. Not because I don't like watches...and not because I don't particularly like wearing them (which now doing a lot of computer work, a watch IS annoying to wear). I think I tried using my internal clock as a less obvious purveyor of time. Clearly all living creatures have some sort of internal time keeping function.
With that said, I still am amazed at some things I see in the world around us. Nothing more than the show I see every night at 5PM. These birds seem to know when the work day is done and it is time to party. They are loud, swooping, and everywhere. On this day the slight foggy and dreary weather added to the atmosphere and off-putting feeling.
You will want to enlarge these shots...
It really is a interesting dynamic to watch. In the last picture I had watched from below (not directly of course) and noticed that obvious gaps were left in the order of the line. Bird after bird would attempt to land in a space between two others only to be 'scolded" out of there. Sometimes it would take 3 or 4 different birds attempting to land before one was accepted.
After about a half an hour of constant din and periodic power struggles and jockeying for position, the entire avian flock falls silent and takes to the air. Thousands, en masse. Their black bodies darkening the already dimming sky. On the ground taking all this in is a little unnerving. Like the feeling you ARE in Hitchcock's movie as these low-flyer's swarm everywhere. You get the sudden thought that if they had a mind to they could collectively take you down and out in a pecking frenzy. Then in minutes they are gone and nothing but the sound of cars on the road can be heard.
Tomorrow they will do it again. And they don't need a watch.
I stopped wearing a watch some time ago. Not because I don't like watches...and not because I don't particularly like wearing them (which now doing a lot of computer work, a watch IS annoying to wear). I think I tried using my internal clock as a less obvious purveyor of time. Clearly all living creatures have some sort of internal time keeping function.
With that said, I still am amazed at some things I see in the world around us. Nothing more than the show I see every night at 5PM. These birds seem to know when the work day is done and it is time to party. They are loud, swooping, and everywhere. On this day the slight foggy and dreary weather added to the atmosphere and off-putting feeling.
You will want to enlarge these shots...
| They are in the tree tops, on every power line, light fixture, vehicle roof top, the ground...thousands!! |
| The spacing between some of them is exact and repeated for several birds in a row. |
| Every once in a while most will take to flight and relocate on another line or fixture...Hitchcockian |
| One of the biggest parties appears to be on the top of the building. Those in waiting take up positions on the entry wire. |
It really is a interesting dynamic to watch. In the last picture I had watched from below (not directly of course) and noticed that obvious gaps were left in the order of the line. Bird after bird would attempt to land in a space between two others only to be 'scolded" out of there. Sometimes it would take 3 or 4 different birds attempting to land before one was accepted.
After about a half an hour of constant din and periodic power struggles and jockeying for position, the entire avian flock falls silent and takes to the air. Thousands, en masse. Their black bodies darkening the already dimming sky. On the ground taking all this in is a little unnerving. Like the feeling you ARE in Hitchcock's movie as these low-flyer's swarm everywhere. You get the sudden thought that if they had a mind to they could collectively take you down and out in a pecking frenzy. Then in minutes they are gone and nothing but the sound of cars on the road can be heard.
Tomorrow they will do it again. And they don't need a watch.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Today's Apocalypse Sign: Pre-Thanksgiving Day Weekend Graphs
Just a few days now before our favorite eating holiday...Thanksgiving! With that said, please enjoy these few moments of entertainment before eating yourself into a coma. Remember: tryptophan and driving don't mix. Be a designated eater!
Enjoy and happy Thanksgiving!

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Classic: Fear of Change vs. Addiction to Change

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Enjoy and happy Thanksgiving!
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Classic: Fear of Change vs. Addiction to Change
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Sunday, November 13, 2011
Today's Apocalypse Sign: It Still Feels Like Summer...And The Weekend Graphs!
Yeah it's like 79 out today. Nice breeze. To most parts of the country it would be a beautiful summer day. Hell, the grass is even turning green, flowers are growing and there are butterflys flitting around. Even saw a monarch butterfly. All in stark contrast to our summer in which everything was dead for months on end. So kids, bottom line is, come to Texas in November if you want to have summer!
Now to the graphs...enjpoy!

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And for all those participating in NaNoWriMo...this graphs for you!

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Now to the graphs...enjpoy!
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And for all those participating in NaNoWriMo...this graphs for you!
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Monday, November 7, 2011
Today's Apocalypse Sign: Early Start On The Holiday Dead Pool
It started early this year...Andy Rooney retired from 60 Minutes not long ago and just recently passed away at the age of 92. Now ex-heavyweight boxing champion Joe Frazier is thisclose to death from liver cancer. Whoever would have thought Ali would have lived longer than Joe?
But hey! You can still get in on the annual year end threesome famous person Dead Pool**! That name is waaaay too long.
I will start off the list with a few candidates. You get to add to the list through your comments. Ready?
1. Okay, I'll take Muhammad Ali for $200 Alex!
2. Wilfred Brinley - is any dead pool list complete without old Willie?
3. Abe Vigoda - another perennial top-five
Add some of your own in the comments and I will update the list as interest dictates.
You know you have someone on your mind for this. Those of you in the UK (sorry you mised out on Amy Winehouse) and the alternate UK (Canada) can play as well. Times a wastin' so get your thinking cap on and go to it!
If this round is completed before December first we will have a second round for the month of December. And clear your moral calendar...it is NOT like you are wishing it on them!
**For those unclear on this topic. The theory goes that celebrity deaths happen in threes. Usually they occur between November 1 and December 31st.
But hey! You can still get in on the annual year end threesome famous person Dead Pool**! That name is waaaay too long.
I will start off the list with a few candidates. You get to add to the list through your comments. Ready?
1. Okay, I'll take Muhammad Ali for $200 Alex!
2. Wilfred Brinley - is any dead pool list complete without old Willie?
3. Abe Vigoda - another perennial top-five
Add some of your own in the comments and I will update the list as interest dictates.
You know you have someone on your mind for this. Those of you in the UK (sorry you mised out on Amy Winehouse) and the alternate UK (Canada) can play as well. Times a wastin' so get your thinking cap on and go to it!
If this round is completed before December first we will have a second round for the month of December. And clear your moral calendar...it is NOT like you are wishing it on them!
**For those unclear on this topic. The theory goes that celebrity deaths happen in threes. Usually they occur between November 1 and December 31st.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Todays Apocalypse Sign: November Graphs Have Begun!
Today begins the winter season. Daylight Savings Time - gone. Tree leaves - gone. 100 degree days - gone. And Christmas music playing in Walmart this morning. WOW!
These graphs will impart some serious information that you will need to do everything from deciding on where to live to preparing for the End OF Days.
Enjoy!

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These graphs will impart some serious information that you will need to do everything from deciding on where to live to preparing for the End OF Days.
Enjoy!
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see more Funny Graphs
see more Funny Graphs
see more Funny Graphs
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Thursday, November 3, 2011
Today's Apocalypse Sign: Warning: Do Not Attempt!
I know that sounds a bit ominous but it's really for the sake of sanity.
Tonight after a fairly busy day at work, I get a call from the wife (who is still at work) informing me that the prescription she has been waiting for will be ready in about 15 to 20 minutes. No big deal I say, I can walk the dogs and feed them...then leave for>>>>>WalMart.
Our Walmart has the drive through pharmacy (two lanes). I won't even have to get out of the car. The store is less than 10 minutes away (if I catch all the lights right). All good.
The ten million black birds circling the sky and filling every power line, transformer, and square foot of ground should have been been an omen. It felt absolutely Hitchcockian (to quote Owen Wilson). These birds dive and swoop, sit dozens at a time on parked vehicles, and are LOUD as shit!.
Anyway, I leave for the store a little after 5:30. Well, I didn't catch ANY lights and since I hate driving our standard shift Jeep it only made the trip more irritating. Stop. Start. Repeat. Shit.
I pull into the first entrance and wheel into the lane leading to the drive-thru. The usual dilema of calculation immediately presents itself...2 vehicles in one lane, one vehicle pulling up to take the place of a departing vehicle in the other lane. Pop quiz...which lane do you choose hotshot (lame Speed reference). I phone a friend...actually my wife since she got me into this. I had pulled behind the two-car lane when I called her based on this logic:
The one car in the near lane had just arrived at the window. The two-car lane should have the first car moving out next since it was their turn for service and the second would be pulling up to even the score between lanes. That car was a newer model clean looking car with only the driver in it. The first single car lane was a old beat-up mini-pick up with a Hispanic lady and two screaming kids. I could hear the attendant telling her she would have to sign some papers yada yada yada. I tell my wife all this thought process. Her answer: Stay where you are. Okay. I do.
I sit. I sit. I sit. Finally I decide to back up and move to the single car lane as there were still two cars in front of me and I didn't want some other car to take that other spot. Once I do that, there is more conversation between the lady and the attendant (on a side note, do we really need our situation broadcast at the volume necessary for anyone with in 50 feet to clearly understand what is going on?) I'm like, seriously???
Now the front car in the two-car lane finishes and moves out. Now we are back to even and do I want to look like a complete indecisive tool and move back to where I was. Doesn't look good, that lady now is reading a paperback book while she is waiting. WTF??? One poor English speaking lady discussing things with the attendant and one reading a book. I am doomed.
Still sitting behind the Hispanic lady with nothing getting resolved, I see the book reader pull the container out of the tube, take out something, and put the container back in the tube...I am already in reverse and ready to let out the clutch the minute I see reverse lights. Nothing. She looks like she is checking what she took out of the tube...and then I see her open up the book again!! Holy Christ...please shoot me.
Beat-up truck lady might as well put her vehicle on blocks...she ain't movin'. Book reading lady again goes to the tube and this time I know she is leaving...I finally see reverse lights and I punch it in reverse to move over to the lane just as she vacates. At last...
Not quite. The discussion between car one and the attendant in the other lane is still going on and I have to push the Call button 4 times before someone answers. A minute to get the name right (as my wife likes to sometime use her last name-hyphen-my last name as her high-society trick. The attendant finally gives up on what I am saying and asks for a birthday...then she says the name back to me perfectly clear. I want to punch the screen. She tells me how much it is and says she is sending a paper I need to sign for insurance purposes. Fine.
The tube comes (truck lady is STILL in lane one) I pull out the paper and sign it and send it back. Apparently I have contracted the stupidity of this dance and a minute later the attendant tells me I forgot to send the money...LOUD ENOUGH SO THE ENTIRE PARKING LOT CAN HEAR!!! Now that half the people at WalMart know I'm a moron, I sit there with people looking at me while the tube is s l o w l y sending the container back for the money. I throw in the cash and send it back. Seconds later my prize is in hand and when I open the container all the change goes flying all over the inside of the Jeep. <insert favortite f-word here>
Fuck it. I zip up the jeep window (one reason I hate it) and drive out into a flock of birds picking at bits of shit on the ground. They scatter and I feel momentarily happy.
The beat-up truck in lane one may still be sitting there...
**Weird occurrance on this trip: someone left two hotel room key cards sitting on top of the tube assembly in the drive-thru. Could this be a new trolling method??
I took them both. Bastards!
Tonight after a fairly busy day at work, I get a call from the wife (who is still at work) informing me that the prescription she has been waiting for will be ready in about 15 to 20 minutes. No big deal I say, I can walk the dogs and feed them...then leave for>>>>>WalMart.
Our Walmart has the drive through pharmacy (two lanes). I won't even have to get out of the car. The store is less than 10 minutes away (if I catch all the lights right). All good.
The ten million black birds circling the sky and filling every power line, transformer, and square foot of ground should have been been an omen. It felt absolutely Hitchcockian (to quote Owen Wilson). These birds dive and swoop, sit dozens at a time on parked vehicles, and are LOUD as shit!.
Anyway, I leave for the store a little after 5:30. Well, I didn't catch ANY lights and since I hate driving our standard shift Jeep it only made the trip more irritating. Stop. Start. Repeat. Shit.
I pull into the first entrance and wheel into the lane leading to the drive-thru. The usual dilema of calculation immediately presents itself...2 vehicles in one lane, one vehicle pulling up to take the place of a departing vehicle in the other lane. Pop quiz...which lane do you choose hotshot (lame Speed reference). I phone a friend...actually my wife since she got me into this. I had pulled behind the two-car lane when I called her based on this logic:
The one car in the near lane had just arrived at the window. The two-car lane should have the first car moving out next since it was their turn for service and the second would be pulling up to even the score between lanes. That car was a newer model clean looking car with only the driver in it. The first single car lane was a old beat-up mini-pick up with a Hispanic lady and two screaming kids. I could hear the attendant telling her she would have to sign some papers yada yada yada. I tell my wife all this thought process. Her answer: Stay where you are. Okay. I do.
I sit. I sit. I sit. Finally I decide to back up and move to the single car lane as there were still two cars in front of me and I didn't want some other car to take that other spot. Once I do that, there is more conversation between the lady and the attendant (on a side note, do we really need our situation broadcast at the volume necessary for anyone with in 50 feet to clearly understand what is going on?) I'm like, seriously???
Now the front car in the two-car lane finishes and moves out. Now we are back to even and do I want to look like a complete indecisive tool and move back to where I was. Doesn't look good, that lady now is reading a paperback book while she is waiting. WTF??? One poor English speaking lady discussing things with the attendant and one reading a book. I am doomed.
Still sitting behind the Hispanic lady with nothing getting resolved, I see the book reader pull the container out of the tube, take out something, and put the container back in the tube...I am already in reverse and ready to let out the clutch the minute I see reverse lights. Nothing. She looks like she is checking what she took out of the tube...and then I see her open up the book again!! Holy Christ...please shoot me.
Beat-up truck lady might as well put her vehicle on blocks...she ain't movin'. Book reading lady again goes to the tube and this time I know she is leaving...I finally see reverse lights and I punch it in reverse to move over to the lane just as she vacates. At last...
Not quite. The discussion between car one and the attendant in the other lane is still going on and I have to push the Call button 4 times before someone answers. A minute to get the name right (as my wife likes to sometime use her last name-hyphen-my last name as her high-society trick. The attendant finally gives up on what I am saying and asks for a birthday...then she says the name back to me perfectly clear. I want to punch the screen. She tells me how much it is and says she is sending a paper I need to sign for insurance purposes. Fine.
The tube comes (truck lady is STILL in lane one) I pull out the paper and sign it and send it back. Apparently I have contracted the stupidity of this dance and a minute later the attendant tells me I forgot to send the money...LOUD ENOUGH SO THE ENTIRE PARKING LOT CAN HEAR!!! Now that half the people at WalMart know I'm a moron, I sit there with people looking at me while the tube is s l o w l y sending the container back for the money. I throw in the cash and send it back. Seconds later my prize is in hand and when I open the container all the change goes flying all over the inside of the Jeep. <insert favortite f-word here>
Fuck it. I zip up the jeep window (one reason I hate it) and drive out into a flock of birds picking at bits of shit on the ground. They scatter and I feel momentarily happy.
The beat-up truck in lane one may still be sitting there...
**Weird occurrance on this trip: someone left two hotel room key cards sitting on top of the tube assembly in the drive-thru. Could this be a new trolling method??
I took them both. Bastards!
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Today's Apocalypse Sign: Halloween Weekend Graphs!
Yeah, alright these have nothing to do with Halloween but its an obligatory title reference thingy this time of year. Enjoy these oddly non-ghoulish, zombieless entertainment choices. You might even want to save the last one for a rainy day...if you are that impulsive, "gotta find all the answers" type whacko...
Yep, me too!
Happy Halloween y'all!

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You will need to enlarge this one!

Since the last one may keep you occupied for a little while...I left it at four entries this week. At least I found the Simpsons, Kiss, the Pulp Fiction killers.
Yep, me too!
Happy Halloween y'all!
see more Funny Graphs
see more Funny Graphs
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You will need to enlarge this one!
Since the last one may keep you occupied for a little while...I left it at four entries this week. At least I found the Simpsons, Kiss, the Pulp Fiction killers.
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