Today’s Apocalypse Sign: Ding Dong The Twinkie Is Dead…Ho Ho

Well today has surely brought us the most Apocalyptic Sign we have seen since last week’s election. November 16^th will forever live in infamy as the day that Hostess Foods suffered irreversible trauma and passed away.

Wonder Bread, Ding Dongs, Zingers, Donettes, Fruit Pies, and of course the kid-beloved Twinkie are no more. The world has become incrementally healthier at the expense of 18,500 jobs…right before the 2012 holiday season.

How did this happen? This is another blow for the needless worker organization called “the union”.  The “union” (specifically the bakers union) refused to settle their strike with Hostess. The root cause of this disagreement was the company’s financial fragility. The sticking point to keep the company afloat (and 18,500 people employed) was this: the company was offering a pay cut that would take effect immediately and then over the next 2 or 3 years gradually increase pay, back to their current level. Apparently the union advised their members that this was BS and therefore – STRIKE!

Two days ago the company advised the union that if they did not accept this proposal (that would have kept all the employees employed) then the company would have no choice but to ask the bankruptcy judge to allow them to dissolve the company. The union said the company was bluffing and this was just an extreme ploy to get them to agree to their terms. Apparently…NOT.

The first thing I hear this morning is that Hostess has ended operations and liquidation of all company assets will begin on Monday. Whack – over 18,000 people now unemployed. And the third party union leaders will just move on to other issues, as this has ZERO effect on them. They will spin this to not be their fault in any way.

My feeling on unions are a topic for another day.

And as a side note, I have a real issue with anyone who supervises a machine that shoves a steel rod into a cake and fills it full of gooey white liquid, being called a “baker”(how’s that for intended innuendo?) They may bake the bread but everything else they made was scientifically engineered. And are you really a true baker if you are mass-producing billions of loaves of bread a year? This was not your local bakery baker. Doubtful any of them ever went to any culinary school. Is there such a thing a scientists union??

Nothing this company made was healthy or even good for you. Besides the fact that an awful lot of people are now unemployed at the worst possible time, I am personally glad they are out of business. They have contributed to the obesity of American youth for decades. They were allowed by the FDA to use additives and ingredients that enhance shelf life and harm human life. Some of the allowed additives were designed purely to make you desire MORE of the product. They served no useful purpose to society. 

[In the interest of full disclosure and to reduce my sanctimonious sounding diatribe, I ate often at the Hostess bar when I was growing up. Before I knew better I was clogging my colon with residue that would see me through many years of my life before being eliminated.]

I am sure many of you have enjoyed these products from time to time…maybe still even today. Not to worry, there are still other companies out there making the same stuff in different packages.

I am going to miss the ageless joke that the only things that will survive the end of the world are cockroaches and Twinkies.