Friday, August 6, 2010

Today's Apocalypse Sign: Things I'm Done With

I woke up Sunday morning to my alarm clock (WTF!) and immediately heard something that made me want to hurl my clock radio across the room. That inspirational moment led to this post. I got up, went to the computer and started jotting down things "I am done with".

I now present those things in no particular order:


  1. "It is what it is" I swear if I hear this one more time I am going to take a life. These five words are for people who cannot hold a discussion or even a general conversation. They are not even a truism! In fact, what the fuck does this even mean??? Example: ME: "Dude, your cat got run over by a car." DUMBASS FRIEND: "I know man, it is what it is." I am lividly pissed just typing this one. Most things are not a resolution to what they currently are. In fact this phrase is a sign of giving up or in. Get away from me.
  2. Morning breath denial. I am so tired of watching commercials, shows, movies, etc. where people just waking up hold a five minute conversation 1-inch from each other. I know it's acting but it is giving real people the okay to do it on a daily basis. Get real and just have them lay back talk to the ceiling like normal people.
  3. People who mistreat children. This is a no brainer but after hearing something new week after week I have reached the end. Here in Dallas this last week some father (and I use that term very loosely) was sentenced to 99 years for his crime. The crime? He locked his three kids in a hotel bathroom for a year! Read the story here. People like this should be euthanized, just like the grizzly bear that attacked that family last week. At least the bear did what bears do protecting their cubs. This piece of shit told police he didn't know how he woke up in bed having sex with the 11-year old girl. Some people are not fit to be parents or apparently, alive.
  4. Motley Crue's 'Girls, Girls, Girls". I never want to hear this song again. The radio still plays it so much I am starting to feel physically ill when I hear it. I don't even want to hear it while drunk in a strip club...not that that would even happen. Again.
  5. Male enhancement ads. How gay do you have to be to do a commercial like this, "I remember rooming with 4 girls in med school and listening to them talk about their men. It's not length they wanted it was thickness and width." And then based on that "scientific study" he says he developed a product that will do just that. WTF times 10!  And apparently you cannot patent this snake oil because there are at least 15 ads for this stuff on the radio everyday. I must say I always did enjoy the smiling Bob commercials on TV...they found the plainest guy and the ugliest women to use in those spots and it always made me laugh.
  6. The BP Oil Mess. How come the smartest people on the planet couldn't come up with a solution faster than 3+ months into this disaster. And now it seems people in BP and the government are already starting to say: the oil is disappearing, fishing grounds are open again, mother nature will clean up after us like she always has, etc. Please stop bullshitting us we are not ALL stupid and we don't feel better about it.
  7. Pussy-footing around with Osama Bin Laden. I recently watched a show on how we have tried TEN TIMES to literally assassinate this wackjob. We missed, botched, stopped short (wasn't that George's dad's move?), or gave up each time. The first attempt was an L-shaped assault of Bin Laden's 3 car convoy. Simple and to the point, Noooooooooo, they fuckin' missed! They shot the hell out of the vehicles, blew up the one NOT carrying Osama, and could not. even. shoot. out. the. tires on the other two!!!! It was the funniest sad thing I ever watched. Someone needs to come up with a plan, see it through, and don't worry, the collateral damage will be forgotten about in a shorter time period than the war has taken so far. In the words of Larry the Cable guy, "Gitter done!"
  8. Lindsey Lohan. Nuff said.

I am sure there is much more that I am done with, but I guess that will have to be for another day.

What are some of the things you're done with?? Let me know.
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9 comments:

Captain Dumbass said...

North Korea. Enough already. Let's make South Korea an island.

Pat Tillett said...

I'd say that's a pretty darn good list.
Let's see...I'm done with network news. They spend more time trying to make something into news, than they do just reporting it. They are also obviouisly biased in their reporting.
It seems like a I have a blog post somewhere in the pile on this subject that needs posting.

Nat said...

People who are famous just because they're overexposed...have they written a great book/film/song, found a cure for cancer or dazzled us with their witty humour? No...they were once in Big Brother and showed everyone their naked butts on reality TV! Way too many "celebrities" over here in the UK....

Chuck said...

Captain: Another excellent idea from north of the border!

Baygirl: I'll leave that one to you...I have made my peace with the squirrels.

Pat: It's amazing how much better the news seems when you're just there for the hot on-site reporters and traffic ladies.

Nat: I think "John and Kate Plus Eight" comes to mind here...yes you have a great point. Normal people who way over stay their 15 minutes of fame.

~J~ said...

First of all, I'm a new reader of your blog. I really like it! Secondly...I am so done with those horrible free credit report score dot com commercials!!!

Jules said...

The Tea Party...not that I oppose them but with no leader nor headquarters who do you call for an explanation of what they really stand for or are mad at besides Obama.

Nice post and good list :D
Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

Chuck said...

TI: oh yeah, good one...I hate those too!

Chuck said...

Jules: Apparently it is just a good place to stir up the masses but I can't I don't support most of them.

Rose DesRochers said...

People talking on their cell phones while driving and spam of Male enhancement ads.

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