Today's Apocalypse Sign: My Dirty Dozen Film Review

My Dirty Dozen Film Reviews

Since I lost my link to this blog hop AND it was no longer on the ETMC site, I was in a panic yesterday! Even more so after I received a comment from Alex stating how he was looking forward to seeing the movie list. I am truly relying on my sometimes creative memory to NOT fail me today.

I had a real hard time narrowing down my 12 favorite films to review (I am
believing that is what I signed up to do) but in the end after making a long list I had to develop one over-riding criteria to make the final 12. And here it is:

Every movie on the list, besides being one of my favorites, had to be a movie
that , if I were channel surfing, as soon as I saw it on the menu I would
IMMEDIATELY select it and, in many cases, watch it to the end no matter where in the movie I started watching. It was okay if I was just going to watch it until I hit a favorite scene or dialogue exchange.

The top five are hard-coded in that order. The rest are interchangeable. But all meet the above run on sentence criteria.

I present, the Dirty Dozen:


1. Where The Buffalo Roam (1980) *****

I literally cannot tell you how many times I have watched this movie. It is over 30 years old and I laugh my ass off every time I have watched it. This is a five-star recommendation so go and get it. Bill Murray plays the quintessential gonzo journalist, Hunter S. Thompson. His comedic timing is nothing short of brilliant. I confess to know virtually every line and inflection in this movie. Peter Boyle, Bruno Kirby, Craig T. Nelson, Rene Auberjonois, and Mark Metcalf round out a cast that is stellar. Boyle playing Thompson's lawyer was perfect casting. Every time I watch this movie I just want to be IN it. ..."but I won't believe Lazlo's dead, not until I can gnaw on his skull with my very own teeth,'cause it still hasn't got weird enough for me". The last line of the movie.

2. Heathers (1989) *****

Another comedy at the top of the list. I have a weird ordeal with this movie...I think everyone has seen it! I quote lines from it and then I ask whoever I am talking to if they have seen the movie (usually after a blank stare response to my quote) and almost none have. This movie is NOT a chick flick so do not be afraid to give it a whirl. Winona Ryder and Christian Slater team up in a bizarre combination of teenage angst from polar opposites. He, as the always on the move high school student due to his fathers work, and she as the "outside the circle of Heathers" high school teenager. The death and mayhem scenes are, well "teenage suicide, don't do it" by Big Fun. Shannon Doherty, Glenn Shadix, and Patrick Labourteaux are all great in their roles. The dark comedy of this movie is what makes it so great in addition to so many quotable lines. When Heather Duke (Doherty) says to Veronica (Ryder), "Damn Veronica, why are you pullin' my dick", you know you are watching class-A material. Get it, watch it, get hooked.

3. Top Gun (1986) *****

Another older movie but still one that makes me click "select" when channel
surfing. It is campy and predictable, the flight/fight scenes are engaging and Kelly Gillis is smoking hot! There are highs and lows, action, comedic tension breakers and truly an all-star cast. Who among us has not used or heard the words, "talk to me Goose, talk to me" yet today. If you have never watched it go and do so, if you have but it's been awhile...watch it again. Even the music gets your blood pumpin' a little faster. "I feel the need, the need for speed!"

4. Tombstone (1993) *****

Costner's Wyatt Earp movie is garbage next to this epic picture. Every role is
portrayed perfectly by the actor. Kilmer's Doc Holiday is so damn cool, I want to be him ("Nonsense, I have not yet begun to defile myself"). The history of the OK Corral shoot-out and events before and after, are the obvious basis for this picture. Again, this is a stand-out all-star cast of heavy hitting actors. And Dana Delaney is smoking hot! " You tell 'em I'm comin', and Hell's comin' with me!" Gives me goosebumps just typing it.

5. Fight Club (1999) *****

This is one of the darkest, twistedest, "what the hell is going on" movies of all time. The shots supposedly of Tyler's (Pitt) junk that are interspersed within the movie was brilliant visualization of part of the story line. Never even knew about it the first 5 times I watched the movie. You can only see it...aww I won't ruin for those who have not seen. If you want to know more just email me. I love anything with Ed Norton in it, or Brad Pitt, or Helena Bonham Carter (oh yea, she's hot!). That they are all three is this movie of macabre and weirdness puts it over the top for me. True gold from beginning to end. "His name was Robert Paulson, his name was Robert Paulson." From Project Mayhem.


6. The Wall - Pink Floyd (1982) *****

I love this album. I know every word of the lyrics. I love the movie. And the
best part is, if you are not into Pink Floyd you will never get it or care for
it. I like being in a select group. If you like PF and have never seen it, go and do so now! It is spell-binding. And Bob Geldof is freaky good in the lead role of Pink. The film is structured around Pink's reflections on his life, all of which center on the building of "the wall." This wall is a metaphor for psychological isolation, a barrier Pink creates to distance himself from his pain. Then of course he has to tear it down.

7. Magnum Force (1973) *****

This movie came out my junior year in high school. How many times do you think I have used the line from the movie, "A man's gotta know his limitations." A
billion! Clint Eastwood was The Man back then. From his badass gunslinger in the Spaghetti Westerns to Dirty Harry. Oh yea, I wanted to be him and carry that gun that would "blow your head clean off". Lots of great actors in this film.

8. Halloween (1978) *****

And so began my love affair with Jamie Lee Curtis. I was saddened to see they
remade this great horror movie. The music, the tension, Donald Pleasence, still
scares the shit outta me. Best slasher movie of its time. " was that the boogie man?"

9. Heavy Metal (1981) *****

The animated chicks in this movie were stunningly hot and so real looking! Each of the five parts of this movie were driven by a throbbing rock sound track. John Candy, Eugene Levy, Harold Ramis all star in the animated good time. Black Sabbath, Blue Oyster Cult, Cheap Trick, Nazareth supply the musical score. Good time fantasy flick.

10. Altered States (1980) *****

William Hurt is one of my favorite actors. His delivery and timing are so great. In this movie (again, not many people I know have seen it) Hurt plays a scientist trying to discover man's true place in the cosmos. He takes on a journey of mind-expanding experiments including sensory deprivation chambers, peyote rituals, and hallucinogenic drugs. Unfortunately things do not turn out as planned. Blair Brown is hot in this movie! Curl up with this one and relive the 70's.

11. Animal House (1978) *****

This movie launched more than a few careers. John Belushi was the star of this
hijinks flick. Who can forget the Double Secret Probation, Belushi's "see if you can guess what I am now?" cafeteria stunt or the Kevin Bacon "thank you sir may I have another" lines. The music, the partying, the carefree college years, how could it get any better. Toga, toga, toga, toga!

12. Pulp Fiction (1994) *****

Outrageously violent, time-twisting, and in love with language, Pulp Fiction was widely considered the most influential American movie of the 1990s. Director and co-screenwriter Quentin Tarantino. Samuel Jackson, John Travolta, Uma Thurman, Bruce Willis, Ving Rhames, Harvy Keitel and a boat-load of other stars make this an instant classic and a must watch. At least now I know how to administer adrenaline to an OD victim properly. "A Royale with cheese".

I would be remiss to myself if I didn't at least mention my "near misses".

Honorable Mentions:

The Jerk- this could be included in my top ten so easily, god I love the movie.

The Big Lebowski - holy shit Dude, how the fuck did this not make it on the fucking list. Sums up the movie pretty good.

My Cousin Vinny - Joe Pesci was so funny in this movie I quote that voice all the time. The "two yoots" never gets old. Marisa Tomei was smoking hot AND integral to the movie.

Apocalypse Now - my all-time favorite Vietnam war movie. Period.


There ya go folks. Hope I did what the Dirty Dozen Blog Hop was all about, if not

I hope I turned you on to a movie or two that you haven't seen or need to see
again.


And it still hasn't got weird enough for me...