Venom - The Guy Test

There are many things in this world that could be considered "guy tests". Things a guy would give up something serious for. Like the proverbial left testicular appendage or sex for a week...you get the idea.

From the time I was a kid playing with Hot Wheels slot cars, driving a car really fast has been a craving. Vicariously I have lived through being close enough to a dragster to gag on the nitrous fumes and feel the ground shake when they turn on all 6000 horsepower. It is just awesome!

Anyway, I offer this video up as a guy's bucket list item...a stock street car called the Hennessey Venom GT. Certified as the fastest production car on the world at 275mph and 1250 horsepower. This thing looks badass enough rolling down the street to stop a gang fight in its tracks. And runs like the wind.

They make 3 to 10 of these cars a year.

Ride along as a ordinary driver takes this car up to 200mph. Bit of a wimp he didn't do more but whatever, this is on my bucket list of things to do. Giving up whatever is necessary, of course.






The camera man is bravest of all!!

A Brief Musical Interlude

I am a fan of the Punch Bros and really like the rendition of How To Grow A Woman From The Ground. Some of the darkest lyrics ever written. Check here for a listen...Punch Brothers.


I also found this great cover they did of the classic Cars song from the '70's called Just What I Needed. Give it a whirl...

I Knew it Would Happen

Those of you that have followed for a while have seen me post about a fantastic young lady in California who absolutely rocks on the drums...Meytal Cohen. Well I am proud to announce she has advanced from doing just great drum covers of great rock songs, to work on a full album of originals. The song below is her first original song from the upcoming album. She co-wrote the music and lyrics.

I think it is friggin' awesome!

Give a listen...



You can find more of Meytal under the Music Stuff page (her videos are at the bottom of the page). She rocks!

Open Letter To Holiday Card Companies

Dear Hallmark,

You are the biggest most well known card manufacturer and retailer in the industry. It falls to you to set the example for all the other smaller fish in the card sea. So here is the feedback from this consumer-by-proxy (aka, card recipient). I seldom buy cards but that fact is not really relevant to this post.

First, in the interest of full admission, I find this concern with other products that have nothing to do with your cards. But this does not enhance my displeasure with some of your products, it is merely a  addition to my annoyance overall.

What the hell am I talking about...GLITTER! Seems simple and harmless. Seems entirely avoidable as a adult. Kids cannot seem to get away from it and indeed may even revel in it. This is NOT the case as an adult. Certainly not as an adult male.

Glitter. Specifically holiday cards (most heavily, Christmas cards) seem to contain glitter. Not the funny and irreverent cards, but the solemn, religious oriented cards. Not to say glitter and religion go hand in hand but rather the thought must be that glitter MAGNIFIES the religious connotation of the season.

Glitter is insidious. Glitter does not adhere where intended. Glitter is forever where it is unintended. I wonder about the people who chose these solemn Christmas cards and the manner in which they handle them, sign them, insert them in the envelope and then pass out these holiday menaces. How do they contend with the inevitable glitter residue left after each card handling? Do they rent a Motel 6 room to do this dirty deed? I don't know.

This is the crux of the matter isn't it? The residue. I submit to you I still have glitter somewhere in the house, lodged in carpet, blankets, couch cushions, etc. from 10 or 12 Christmas celebrations ago. As I type I am staring down two flakes of glitter stuck in my table cloth. One red, one green. By turning my head just right and having the light above the table on, they reveal themselves. Then a fraction of the inch more and they are gone. The game of holiday hide-and-seek has begun for another year.

Of the few real cards I got (many were photo collages or e-cards) 4 of them contained copious amounts of colored glitter, primarily red and green of course. Just pulling them out of the envelope showers the table, floor, counter, or me with the stuff. This is going to lead to weeks or months of finding glitter on my hands unexpectedly. Which will result in glitter somewhere on my face. This is the burn of my angst.

Nothing makes a meeting at work like a co-worker telling you that you have "glitter on your face". How emasculating. And from there it goes to discovery in public places. I am constantly now checking myself in a Tourettes-like fashion when I get up from the table to ensure I do not carry the stuff with me on hands, arms, clothes, etc.

This year I not only got one card 70% covered in glitter but the ENVELOPE was encrusted with the stuff as well. What are people thinking??

I think by now you get the point. I would like to see a couple changes in your card making process. One, would be to eliminate glitter completely, the minimal loss of sales (probably none) would easily be offset financially by not having to purchase glitter.  Two would be to use a super glue like substance to adhere LARGE flakes of glitter (like maybe 4 per card) to the card.

I have advised all friends who insist on giving me these cards each year that I will not open any card containing glitter from this day forward. They are forewarned and therefore well aware of the penalty.

Now I must take the time during this holiday (read: minimal activity) season to get the Dyson out and vacuum the dog. His dumb ass rolled on the floor under the table and now he sparkles. Shameful.

Have a Happy New Year,

Chuck

Peace Out!

How Did We Get To This Point?

The other day on the news I heard a story about a grade school who had banned the use of any type of ball during recess.

Seriously.

No footballs, softballs, basketballs, soccer balls. Nothing. The only allowable "ball type" was a Nerf ball.  The reasoning: the school didn't want to take the chance of any of the kids getting hurt. This made me laugh. Nerf balls are for toddlers and hemophiliacs. Not 8, 9 and 10-year old kids.

What are we doing here people?? Turning our kids into de facto "bubble children"? How much protection do they need?

When I was in grade school we played dodge ball, 4-square, tether ball...and there were always footballs flying through the air. There were 4 basketball hoops in use. Were there bruises and bloody noses...yes. Every once in a while someone got smacked on the nose playing tether ball. A football would sail long and bonk someone on the head. So what? We were kids having fun and playing. Outdoors. Exercise.

There were skinned knees and elbows. Maybe even a black eye if you were really lucky. Badges of battle to show off the rest of the day in school!

I don't know where the school is going with this, but it is nowhere good.

Thoughts?

BANNED!!

Forgotten But Not Gone

Apologies for being MIA for so long. As we all know, life issues sometimes cause our blogging activities to be put on hold for a while. Some more sudden than others. It is nice to know that blogging for fun can be put down temporarily and then resumed like slipping on an old pair of shoes. At least I think that is what it will feel like.

I will be absent a couple more weeks or so but I just had to make time to let those friends I have made online know that I am still around. I want to thank Alex for emailing me with his concern for my absence. I am really sorry I missed the CassaStorm promotion and regret not partaking. After reading the book however, I am sure it's success will be as great as the first two books.

For the rest of you who have been missing me, fear not, I will be annoying again soon.

In the meantime, I wish you each success is your individual endeavors!

"In Your Pants" Blogfest

Summer Ross is hosting crazy blogfest. And it was so easy!!! Name of the book I am reading and then adding "in your pants" to it. Simple...and sure to be some hilarious reads.

Well I am reading a book recommended by the great Alex J Cavanaugh and written by the talented Lisa Regan. So here is my entry...drum roll please


Finding Claire Fletcher...In Your Pants!

I guess I can stop reading...I found her!!!!