Today's Apocalypse Sign: You Call It OCD, I Call It Organized

My wife and I have had a running battle over OCD vs Organization. It's quite funny and I am sure others out there have the same situation (if they married their opposite). I thought I would share a few tidbits.

I'll start by saying there a few things I must, absolutely must, know where they are at all times. My keys, my cell phone, my money clip (with DL, credit card, other card things, and of course money), my Burt's Bees lip balm, and my sunglasses. These are non-negotiable. No matter where I am, knowing their whereabouts is sacred. I prepare breakfast each morning exactly the same way in the same order. I am accused of being OCD...I say it is a well-honed routine.


My wife on the other hand has what I term a "put it down and walk away" view of life. Then the funniest thing of all, I'll hear, "Honey, have you seen my ______". At which point I immediately laugh my ass off. Then she expects me to stop whatever I am doing and go off Indiana Jones-style and search for the item with no map or compass or clue as to where it could be. She'll get mad when I search an area she has already searched right before she searches an area I just searched. Also it is always the last minute and it is something like her iPhone or car keys. And we are at defcon 5. Even the dogs leave the room.

"Where the F&^% could it be," she screams and I reply, "almost anywhere I imagine". Of course the humor is completely lost on her and I now I'm a "f&*^ing ass!"

Sometimes I head off the tragedy but spotting an item that is sure to be missed later (or very soon). An open Dr Pepper she was carrying a few minutes earlier, or a dinner fork. I will make a pre-emptive strike and pick up said item and take it to her before it can become "missing".

The latest game of "who the hell knows where it is" was played out when she decided to trim the dogs nails with the Dremel. I of course was busy with a blog post and really in a zone, when I hear, "Chuck, where the F*&# is the Dremel"? Since I don't immediately recall the last time I used the Dremel let alone the last time I saw it, I knew what was coming. I tried to beg out by saying, "I have no earthly idea, I wasn't the last one to use it". That bought me about 5 minutes.

Then she comes bursting into the room and says, "Will you please help me find it." Shit. "Where would you like me to look?", I say. "I don't know but just don't sit there, get up and help me find it", she glares.

I know what is coming next...since she has been looking for 15 minutes already I am sure to retrace her steps and start looking in the same places. This garners responses like,  "don't you think I already looked there." "I already looked in that room". etc. I am like a wounded animal bouncing from previously looked at logical places to the most impossible of locations (think toliet tank).

After ten minutes of tearing apart two or three rooms (including the disaster of a craft room) we still cannot find it. The next phase of this nightmare is someone must have come in to our home and taken it. I logically reply that is unlikely, very unlikely. To which I get, "Well then where the hell did it go!!" Got me! I have no answer.

She gives up and I go back to my keyboard. Twenty minutes later she comes in the room and tells me she found it and the dogs nails are done. I am sure I asked her where she found it but to this day I have absolutely no idea where that was. So....

I am sure we will do this dance the next time the dogs nails need trimmed.

Today's Apocalypse Sign: Back To The Future

In honor of my 400th post I am reposting my very first post on this blog from January 16th, 2010. (How about that for overuse of the word "post") I got the inspiration for this from a surprising comment left by Arlee Bird on that post just today (6/1/12). At that time I had no readers, no direction, and no idea about this thing called blogging. Yes I knew what a blog was and that there were millions of them out there but the actual nuts and bolts were foreign to me.

 
To this day I cannot tell you why I chose Apocalypse Now as my blog name. It is one of my favorite movies for sure but beyond that... To say that whatever my original idea was and where I am today, well, there are probably miles of difference. It was truly a dive in - sink or swim type of thing. I was either going to get bored and never have any readers and quit or I would achieve a reason to continue to WANT to post.

Well fortunately that reason came to pass. Due to all of YOU who choose to spend some amount of your precious time  humoring me. And sometimes letting me know your thoughts and opinions in the comments.  Pat, you being my first follower and loyal reader, I have come to believe that beyond our online friendship we could truly have a great time over a couple cold beers and some story telling.  

Alex, Jesse...you two weren't far behind Pat in coming aboard. I think sitting around a table with you and Pat would be quite a get together. Pat's pictures and travels and war stories...Alex's writing and music/movie knowledge...Jesse your "out there" way of thinking, all fascinating stuff to me.

For all those who came after, this following post has only one comment (Lee's on 6/1/12). So even though the subject matter is 2 1/2 years old, I feel the sentiment is just as real today. Plug in any recent disaster it reads the same for me. I hope you enjoy the beginnings of this web adventure I have joined... thanks for reading!
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January 16th, 2010 (shortly after the new year's disaster in Haiti)



With the disaster in Haiti monopolizing the news for the last week, I thought it time to reflect on what is really a tragedy. I am speaking of course about the relief efforts. Oh, don't get me wrong, I believe that the world (and the US specifically) is swiftly coming to the aid of one of the poorest countries in the western world. What I am concerned about is the manner in which the US relief is being funded.

Before getting into the full roll here, I would like to set the playing field.

1. Haiti is a very poor country. Infrastructure is barely above primitive man in many areas. Unsanitary conditions, tin shacks, unpaved roads and THEN a 7.0 earthquake. Nothing could be more devastating.


2. Hundreds of thousands of people, many of them women and children, are now homeless. Many are injured and some at risk for amputation of arms or legs. The streets of Port Au Prince are literally bedrooms, hospital rooms, and morgues. People are being flown out to moored ships for surgery.


3. With almost 2 million people crammed into a small area of land bordered by ocean and only one barely paved road to the Dominican Republic on the other side of the island, the risk of widespread disease could rise to epidemic levels in short order...especially with the temperature and humidity in the area creating a fertile breeding ground along with the limited sanitation.


4. So much relief is coming in so fast there is no place to handle it all. Planes are circling the small airport for hours. Soon the airport will be so crowded with relief planes, supplies, and personnel there will be no room for any more planes to land. Supplies being trucked from the Dominican Republic are on the road for almost 10 hours to reach P-A-P. In the coming days these caravans could be subject to hijackings by desperate Haitians.


5. There appears to be no coordinated effort of the various factions of the relief efforts so there is just a lot of action. In the early days this may suffice but shortly chaos will start creeping in.

I am sure many additional observations could be made but I will stop at 5.

Ever since Hurricane Katrina and the relief debacle that followed, the US has been quick on the trigger whenever catastrophic events have taken place. First the tsunami halfway around the world and now the Haitian earthquake. Both possible signs the apocalypse could be upon us.

The Myans may have it right about 2012.

Here is the motivation for this blog and for this first post.

Getting money to agencies that need it and getting supplies bought with said money to those who ultimately need it.

First for donations...there are many who are asking for donations, some like the Red Cross are certainly trustworthy to donate to...others are complete scams. As always the worst in times brings out the worst in human nature. Many people have already been scammed by Haitian relief frauds.

The texting to 90999 goes somewhere and adds $10 to your phone bill and then the money goes somewhere...I've seen lots of ads for this but cannot for the life of me remember the agency THIS money is going to. Stick with the Red Cross if you want to help and be sure your donation will really help.

Second, I want to explore what to me is always the obvious in these situations. Why couldn't the top 100 richest people on the face of the earth donate $10 million each? This would be an immediate windfall of $1 billion in the coffers to provide any damn thing needed right now and the short-term future.

Further more, put these same people in a room to decide on a board of directors to oversee the management of this money in the relief effort. They are all shrewd business men of some sort and know how to prudently spend money to get the maximum effect. Cut the red tape, get shit done, and move this thing along at light speed...that would be their mantra.

Besides the human factor that the relief efforts must urgently address, someone has to start addressing the rebuilding that will certainly have to take place. With the potential of 10's of thousands of bodies buried beneath the rubble and the risk of all sorts of disease sprouting up, this group can begin the task of coordinating the shipments of heavy machinery (many of them have friends in construction and should be able to get either donations of equipment or great deals on the purchase) and other items required for what will surely be a massive and long-lasting rebuilding effort. If it actually gets started.

I don't want to attempt to layout a whole plan here, but you get the idea. By God those who have, need to help! They should be ashamed to just sit back and let the ones who can afford it least, shoulder the load. I watched a show the other night on TV and one of the actor's lines stuck with me. When an FBI agent was using a big-time arms dealer to help him catch a not so nice arms dealer, he asked him, "How much money does one man need? It's about doing the right thing."

I say Amen twice to that. Mr Gates, Mr Buffett, and yes even you Mr Cuban and all the others on the Top 100 Richest list...you've worked hard for what you have earned, I say "How much money does one man need? It's about doing the right thing." And Bill...let's be honest, you could and probably should pony up the billion by yourself. Then Warren wouldn't want to be outdone so maybe we start a humanitarian tsunami...what a thought.

I will leave you with this...NASA is selling two space shuttles for the discounted price of $28 million each. They have 20 bidders lined up so far. I say let those 20 bidders put their $28 million each to better use...that would be $560 million dollars to go to the relief efforts. Ya see, getting 3 or 4 billion dollars pulled together in short order is no real trick at all.

And the bonus...we are not relying on or asking ordinary everyday people who barely have enough to live on, lost their home, have been downsized, or are just simply struggling in today's economy to donate what little they are gladly donating to help people in another country to try and survive.

Because right now, as it is, if not them then who?

Today's Apocalypse Sign: iPod Monday

Backstory
To those who have not seen this before, for the past couple weeks I have come home from work and sat down with the dogs while listening to 5 songs randomly shuffled on my iPod. This is becoming my Monday Winddown. Then in a fit of purely divine  inspirational laziness, I thought, "Hey, why not post those songs (with accompanying videos) and entertain my readers to start the week." So there you are.
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Continuing on in this two-week old tradition, I present this Monday's 5 random iPod sounds to calm and soothe after a hard days work:


Peter Gabriel - Games Without Frontiers (the link on the song title is worth looking at to gain some insight as to the meaning of the song)



The Beatles - Nowhere Man (always been one of my favorite Beatles tunes)



Fleetwood Mac - Stand Back (was any front woman sexier then Steve back in the heyday of F-Mac)



Phil Collins (Genesis) - Invisible Touch (odd that this would come up after former Genesis front man Peter Gabriel led off the night. Peter obviously went on to a rather successful solo career.)



The Allman Brothers - Southbound (All-Bros were inspirational to the likes of Lynyrd Skynyrd and Tom Petty among others)



Are you familiar with all these bands and songs? Any favorites songs by any of them?

Til next week...keep jamming!

Today's Apocalypse Sign: My Birthday Weekend Graphs!!

Well today being my birthday and getting to the age where they need to come waaaay slower than they do, I offer up not 5 but 6 scintillating bits of entertainment for your viewing pleasure.

Happy birthday to me and good luck to you!

Enjoy...

















Just in case you like to frequent the Bell at midnight, this is for you!

Today's Apocalypse Sign: He Went Out With A Bang!

Hunter S Thompson - 1937 to 2005

I watched the incredible documentary film Gonzo: The Life and Work of Dr. Hunter S Thompson on Sunday night. It was the most interesting production of this man's life.

Starting with his embedding into the Hells Angels for a year...writing about and living the life. There was an interview  with Sonny Barger (leader of the angels) who I must admit does not look quite so badass as an aged biker breathing through a trach hole in his throat. And Thompson actually got his ass kicked by 3 or 4 of the Angels right before he was ousted from their clan. This story did bring him some national acclaim.

His writing gained the most rabid following once he started writing for Rolling Stone magazine. And while there, almost never made a deadline. His 3 or 4 pages of copy were worth holding up the publishing. The interview with his old publisher was insightful and a look at the outlet for most of Thompson's rants on American politics and the failure of the American Dream.

One of my favorite parts of this film was the coverage of his failed attempt to win the 1970 Sheriffs election in Aspen, CO. His platform was as outrageous as his campaign logo of a fist with two thumbs holding a peyote bud with a Sheriff's badge as the background shape.

One plank of his campaign had to do with instituting the resurrection of the stockade. He wanted to install them on the front lawn of the Aspen courthouse to be used on drug dealers who sold inferior drugs or somesuch. He also wanted to change the name of the city from Aspen to Fat City so no one would be able to use the word Aspen to promote the town. And a couple others I don't rightly remember at this time. He was actually winning the election for most of the night and then somehow the final tally had him with less votes then he had early in the evening. Apparently the fix was in.

Through his days of covering the 1968 Democratic presidential convention in Chicago (and getting beaten and arrested at that time) to his drug-induced journey through Las Vegas (in Fear and Loathing) his endless search for the American Dream is what fueled his writing...and mostly because of his failure to find it.

I can attest to one absolute fact: Bill Murray should have won an Oscar for his portrayal of Thompson in Where The Buffalo Roam. Much of the dialogue in Gonzo proves how much Murray nailed the role. The affects, the voice...I closed my eyes when Hunter was talking and it was Murray. They were one and the same. They even look like brothers. The testament to Murray developing his character by spending time with Thompson during the filming is the fact that many of his friends say he never really came back to himself, even long after the movie was out and mostly forgotten. He remained in the Thompson character. I love Johnny Depp, but his Hunter is a little over the top for me. While good just not Murray good. Curious though, Depp adopts the Thompson affect when talking about him. I saw that when he was last on the Letterman Show. Still not Murray.

His love of guns and gun play led to the only possible conclusion in his mind for the end of his time. At the age of 67 and more than a little bummed that GW had been elected to a second term, Hunter took one of his guns and shot himself in the head. The end. I hope he found what was on the other side of "the edge" as he so often called it. He said the only people who knew where the "edge" truly was were those that had gone over. He went over. He did it his way, all the way. Drugs, alcohol, guns...full tilt or not at all.

If you are curious, if you are a Gonzo fan, if you never have heard or know anything about the man, I still recommend this movie/documentary. It is entertaining and enlightening for 2 hours. And you may want more, like I did.  For those of you who are writers, I recommend it to explore a style that was renegade in its time.

Sorry you're gone Doc...you're on my list of people I want to meet on the other side. Because it still hasn't got weird enough for me either...

Could be Bill Murray, Right?

Thought? Comments? Opinions?

Today's Apocalypse Sign: Another iPod Beginning To My Week

I know it's not the latest and greatest version of the iPod but hey...it was free and holds 8 gig of music and sounds great. Good enough for me.

Since today felt like a Monday after this holiday weekend, I decided in a rather kingly fashion, that I would begin each week with an iPod listen when I got home from work. I figure this accomplishes a couple of things: 1) fairly easy and entertaining post and 2) I get to start my week rocking in random fashion.

So for now iPod Monday is born from the ashes of rock 'n roll and presented here for your listening pleasure. If you pick up a new or forgotten artist to enjoy all the better.

Tonight's five random iPod listens were as follows:

1. AC/DC - Squealer (Bon Scott version) (a lesser played track and a little racy, so ladies be warned or curious) RIP Bon



2. Lynyrd Skynyrd - Simple Kind Of Man (Ronnie Van Zandt version) (one of my favs back in high school) RIP Ronnie



3. Van Halen - The Cradle Will Rock (Diamond Dave frontin') (I wore a rut in this song when the album came out)Eddie Van Halen showing his chops!!



4. AC/DC - High Voltage (Live) (double dose of the electrically ambiguous band!!) the sync between sound and video is a little lacking but I had to find a Bon Scott live version!




5. Candlebox - Far Behind (This could be the first CD on which I loved every song)

Today's Apocalypse Sgn: Memorial Day Weekend Graphs!

Hope you all are having a great Memorial Day Weekend. Here is a little entertainment to help you work off those excess calories from cooking out and drinking beer (you knew you were going to have to pay for that somehow, right?) Since laughter is a calorie burning mechanism, I suspect you can mark off one Bud Light after reading these.

You may want to read them twice...

Enjoy!










Bonus Holiday Weekend Extra!!!