Today's Apocalypse Sign: Oh No Not The Q Word!

To date the toughest word is the Q. Especially since it is required to be followed by a U. This is one of those "word rules" that is not very often broken and when it is, it gives one pause as to just the correct pronounciation. Out of all the words that begin with the letter Q there are only 34 that DO NOT obey the "followed by a U" rule. They are unpronuncible and stupid words. Most are variations on a base word. I mean "qwerty"??? It's just 6 letters in a row on a keyboard for chrissakes! It is not a word.

For example: qabalah and qabalahs, qadi and qadis, ganat and ganats...you get the idea. I challenge you to use any of them in a real sentence. So there are really only like 20 Q words not followed by a U. It is an impossible point of the alphabet where someone thought that would play a joke on all the other letters and words and make Q, well ...queerly weird.

Anyway, today's Q word for me is that old 70's stand by party favor...Quaalude! This word is fun to say. Fun to spell (anything with a double aa in it is okay with me, like aardvark and aardwolf). And as the main attraction...fun to party with!

The 70's were a time of not much money and certainly not much money for drinking. During that time the handy quaalude became the bridge between a couple beers and night of "feeling fine". Benefits: didn't need to drink a lot to get where you were going (saved money and peeing a lot), the ladies always loved them, and they were cheap!

Manufactured by the drug giants Rorer and Lemmon, the pills (methaqualone) came stamped with the popular 714. This lead to quaaludes being called "Lemmons" or "714's" among the youth of the day. Originally manufactured in 1951, its use peaked in the late sixtys as a treatment for insomnia, a sedative and a muscle relaxant, it became one of the hypnotic drugs of choice on the party scene. Not to mention the fact that it was very inhibition reducing, so it was hard to go to a party in the the 70's and not be able to find a 'lude or two for the night.

Good times...what I remember of them. One of my favorite bands from that era was The Tubes. Lead Singer Fee Waybill named himself Quay Lude. Here is a little ditty I listen to til this day. Enjoy

What Do You Want From Life

Here ends my Quixoctic post for the day.

(Note: I prefer the etymological mis-pronunciation "kee-hoe-tic.")



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BTW...there is a new post on Hyperbole and A Half...first one in a month and 304 comments in the first two hours! Go Check it...



Today's Apocalypse Sign: The P To Make You Go Whee!!!

I resisted on the G letter but now I have to take this last opportunity this month to Get it out...Today's letter P is for the Packers, of Green Bay that is.

To borrow from the opening of the Jerk..."I was born a poor Packers child"

One warm June night back in the Eisenhower administration, out popped another "anointed at birth" Green Bay Packers fan. At a hospital (that may no longer exist) in the city of Green Bay, WI, this little miracle took place. When you are born in GB you become a Packers fan for life... just about the time of circumcision. I want to believe they wrapped me in a the green and gold before I was handed to my mother.

My father, like all good Wisconsin dads, got me interested in football at an early age. Though I only lived in Green Bay for a few very young years, I got a brief glimpse of the city known as TitleTown USA. My bucket list contains the one thing that has to be accomplished and that is a return to the city of my birth and more importantly to the hallowed grounds of Lambeau Field...a place I have never been.

The Packers have won more NFL titles than any other franchise (13). They along with Chicago are two of the oldest teams in football. Their stored history is spellbinding reading to me. I remember vividly watching the first two Super Bowls with my dad. They are still the highlight of my life. Sadly my father did not live long enough to see any more...even though it took 30 years before the next Super Bowl appearance (and victory) in 1996. The Packers are 4 and 1 in Super Bowls, which I believe is the best winning percentage among teams who have made at least 5 appearances.

What football fan my age doesn't remember the great Ice Bowl of 1967. Packers...Cowboys...-15 degrees...Lambeau Field forever earning the nickname, "Frozen Tundra". It gives me chills just typing this. That is how deep the Packer blood runs in my veins.

When there was recently a countdown of the top 100 NFL players of all time, there were at least 13 Packers on the list. More will be coming with the current crop of talent.

This is unique team. Founded in 1919, the Packers are the only non-profit, community-owned major league professional sports team in the United States. The population of Green Bay is 102,313. When the Packers are playing at home, there is no one AT home!. The streets are deserted. If they are not in the stands they are in the parking lot...up to 25,000 strong! Unless you have been willed tickets, you damn near cannot get into a game. While other stadiums empty out if a rout of the home team is occurring, Lambeau Field is full til the end...every game! Preseason games sell out. It is the true love of football that drives this city and team. Ask any player who is or has played for the Packers and they will all tell you it was/is a special experience.

If you are a football fan watch this video...

Aaron Rodgers, in my humble opinion, is the best quarterback in the game today.

Football is Green Bay, and Green Bay is football. Go Pack Go!

Today's Apocalypse Sign: O Is For Online Ordering

My newest and greatest habit gives us a double-dose of O's today...Online Ordering!

I confess, it took me longer than the average human to buy into the online way of life (shopping, bill paying, blogging, research, etc.). But now that I am there, I am full-throttle with it.

Online ordering has saved 3 Christmases, a couple birthday's, several Valentine's Days, and a whole host of other last-minute needs.

The Christmas rescues saved in more ways than one. Primarily there was no need to join the zombie-like masses at the mall, or Target, or heaven forbid...Walmart. My wife just decides what special "one gift fits all family members" thing we are going to do and we are off to the online shopping! For the last few Christmas holidays we have gone out of town to Ohio and this has paid off well. We usually start the quest the first week of December. The gift choice is decided on between the 10th and 15th of the month. We order online and have it shipped to my mother's house and it usually arrives a day or two before we do. Once we get there my wife unpackages the goodies, wraps them, sticks them under the tree and...Voila!  Christmas. Done. 

For some reason finding birthday gifts for my wife is easier online. I am sure it is because I can be much more narrow in my search scope versus going to a store where everything is RIGHT THERE begging to be purchased. And I haven't missed a birthday in years!

Valentine's Day would never happen if I had to go out and buy flowers, chocolates or whatever. I order online and have the flowers delivered to where she works and BAM! I'm a hero.

The best part is the semi-instant gratification you can get by buying something online. Impulse online buying is now a registered mental illness...I think. Some people just can't help themselves. I can understand that.

You make a purchase and the excitement begins. You get a tracking number so you can watch every scanned receive as the item winds its way along a FedEx/UPS/USPS paved road to your door. When it arrives it feels like another birthday or Christmas day. You open the package and tear into the product. The euphoria lasts sometimes only a day or maybe a week. Then you need that enter-button fix all over again.

This link says there are two people in Dallas looking for a Compulsive Shopping Meetup Group. I'm not one of them.

I ordered three things last night so I must now go and track them...God I hope they get here early!

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Today's Apocalypse Sign: More Than Halfway Though...Time For The Graphs!

If you're feeling down

If you're feeling blue

Take a moment and scroll down

The Weekend Graphs

Are here for you!

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Today’s Apocalypse Sign: N First Letter On The Downside Of The Challenge

The letter N today will have to be for my new Nikon D3100 DSLR camera! I have had it now for a little over a week and it is truly badass for the money!

Last Tuesday or Wednesday my package arrived what I figured was a couple days before I was expecting it. This to me is a lot like Christmas. I am unabashedly a material guy. I don't want a lot of things (lie) but the things I want I really want. When I order something online I am excited as a kid until it arrives.

Anyway, I digress. I open the package and there staring back at me was a sight that made my pulse race...
(if you want to commit to true dorkyness you can click AND ENLARGE)

I reverently pulled the box out from its air-bag cradle in the bigger box. Opened it slowly like it was Christmas morning. Slowly removed every box, book and, packet. Then quickly the battery was shoved in the charger and the charger plugged into the wall. The instructions said an hour and a half to fully charge, but I showed real adult restraint and let it charge for 3 hours. Believe me that was some restraint.

I spent the time reading the quick start guide and hitting the high points in the owners manual that I needed to initially take some shots once the battery was charged. The battery finished charging and the first shot is the one you see above. No fancy setting, just a plain vanilla auto-setting shot. I was immediately blown away by the smooth operation, the sound of the shutter, and the (dare I say) stunning detail of the shot! No comparision to all my point and shoots!

I then had to shoot the dogs, well one dog (Caesar was hiding somewhere). Here is Cornelia.

Click to enlarge this shot. I swear when I zoom in while viewing in Picasa I can see her brain through her left eye! The detail is amazing. The new header for this blog is a tweaked sunset shot from a couple nights ago. All the outdoor shots have been fantastic looking.

Okay, I'll stop rambling on like a little kid...but damn this shit keeps me young!

I am stoked even more now for the Fiji trip. I may need to buy a couple more memory cards! Oh yeah, and this baby takes full HD 1080p video with a mini-HDMI port and cable (cable not included).

Now if I can just figure out how to turn the video function on...


I also want to double-dip in the N pool today and turn you on to a fellow blogger who with her husband (The Holbs) and baby (Huck) writes one of the best and funniest daily life experiences blogs around. Please take a tour of Nat The Fat Rat, she is gold. 

Today’s Apocalypse Sign: M Can Only Be For Monkeys!

Today, the letter M can only really be for one thing...Monkeys! Those fun-loving, free-swinging, caca-throwing imps of the jungle and comedy. If you are having a bad day, anything to do with monkeys will make it better. Even David Letterman has a oft-quoted schtick about monkeys, where he states, " I wouldn't give my/his/her troubles to a monkey on a rock!". The band and the audience participate and it is great fun while never failing to make me chuckle. Monkeys are just THAT much fun.

My wife and I even have a stuffed monkey (aka Travel Monkey) that we take with us on vacation. He usually steals the show and is a great conversation starter.

I did a post about this monkey a year or so ago. Tell me that you didn't break into a little grin (like I did) when you read the line, "What we're really doing is turning him into a drug addict".

This monkey story is just as funny. Pray tell what species of monkey IS native to San Antonio, TX??? I ask you!

Finally, why couldn't a monkey be a service animal? 'Cause the judge said so!

Okay, one more, just in case you didn't believe humans and monkeys are closely related...this test seals it!

It seems if one were going for the fun and merriment of the above articles, the macaque monkey is the way to go. And here I always thought that capuchin monkeys were the bomb!

You can go finger monkey:

Macaque monkey:

Sock Monkey:

How to make a sock monkey:

Jabba The Monkey:

Or even 12 Monkeys:

But beware of the gorilla, they don't take shit from anyone:

Until tomorrow...let a little monkey fun into your life.

Today’s Apocalypse Sign: What The L Is This?

Today's letter L is for lyrics. As in some of my favorite song lyrics. Feel free to list some of your own in a comment. Sorry for the length of the post but feel free to come back to it. Here we go:

1.  Nirvana - Polly
     Lyric: "Polly wants a cracker...think I should get off her first."
     One of the greatest sexual innuendo lyrics of all time.




2. Metallica - Master of Puppets
    Lyric: "Needlework the way, never you betray

              Life of death becoming clearer
              Pain monopoly, ritual misery
              Chop your breakfast on a mirror"
    Greatest drug addiction summation in one chorus



3. The Beatles - I Am The Walrus
    Lyric: "Yellow matter custard...dripping from a dead dog's eye".
    Could be the grossest visual lyric ever



4. The Doors - Back Door Man
    Lyric: "You men eat your dinner

             Eat your pork and beans
             I eat more chicken
            Than any man ever seen, yeah, yeah"
    Jim Morisson was a really great poet and this lyric of veiled oral sex is gold! Just listen to it.




5.  Led Zeppelin - The Lemon Song
     Lyric: "Squeeze me baby, till the juice runs down my leg.

               The way you squeeze my lemon, I'm gonna fall right out of bed.
               I'm gonna leave my children down on this killing floor."
     I will not even bother trying to describe this lyric, you can figure it out on your own.



6.  Pink Floyd - Pigs (Three Different Ones)
     Lyric: "You like the feel of steel

              You're hot stuff with a hat pin
              And good fun with a hand gun"
     One of my all time favorite Pink Floyd songs and I love the lyrics!



7. Rolling Stones - Sympathy For The Devil
    Lyric: "I rode a tank
               Held a General's rank
              When the Blitzkrieg raged
              And the bodies stank"
   A four line summation of WWII in arguably the Stones greatest song.



8. Bob Seger - Turn The page
Lyric: "Out there in the spotlight
          You're a million miles away
         Every ounce of energy
         You try to give away
         As the sweat pours out your body
         Like the music that you play"
Life on the road as a musician is soulfully rendered by Mr Seger in the great song.



9. J. Geils Band - No Anchovies Please
    Lyric: All of it!!
You just have to watch.



10. Green Day - Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)
      Lyric: "Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
                Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
                So make the best of this test, and don't ask why
                It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time"
     This song in an anthem for all mankind. And it's kinda catchy!